Tag: freak out

No Prep Left

Jen and I are sitting in the living room (the old one, not the new one) and I’m letting my mind wander.

Where is it wandering to?

Where do you think?

I went for my pre-surgery Covid PCR test today. I got an email saying that I had a new entry in my patient portal. I don’t speak hospital but I think it says the results were negative.

So what’s the significance of that? Apart from not having Covid, of course.

That was the last thing I had to do before the surgery. The next step is literally getting a call from the hospital telling me what time to show up.

I’m not freaking out per se. Well… not exactly. I am, but I’m okay with it. Really it’s just getting hard to focus on anything else. I’ll be doing one thing and about a third of my thought process is on my weight and the surgery instead of what I’m doing. I think that counts as a minor freak out.

Overall I feel like I’m keeping my shit together, but I’m pretty sure the next two days at work are going to be a struggle.

It Hits the Fan Tomorrow

I haven’t started freaking out yet, but I expect I will shortly. Or maybe not. I don’t know.

My for really reals first weight loss surgery appointment is tomorrow morning. I took the first half of the day off so that I can freak out, go to the Zoom meeting, and then cry and freak out again. Like, my whole morning is scheduled.

Then again, maybe the fact that I haven’t freaked out yet is a sign that I am for really reals ready to do this. It’s going to suck, and it’s going to suck for months and months, but as far as my health is concerned it’s the right thing to do, right? Right.

I don’t know what to expect. It’s safe to assume I will have a million questions and when the Doc asks me if I have any questions I will completely blank out and not be able to think of anything. Safe bet that prediction is going to come true. We’ll see tomorrow though.