I’m leaving for my folks’ house. Patches is trying to say goodbye but getting distracted by everyone petting her neck.

She’s waiting patiently for me to stand up so she can steal my spot.

I’m miserable to the point of feeling physically ill and Patches doesn’t care at all. Maybe I won’t fill your food bowl. See how you like it, you little stinker.

Oh who am I kidding, I’ll always fill your bowl, you little fuzz ball.

When mom gets up out of bed and it’s not morning yet, Patches becomes one very confused kitty.

What the hell are you doing out of bed, human?

Patches leaned to ballet dance sarcastically.*

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*We are watching Will Ferrell and Marky Mark in The Other Guys.

Patches could go to my parents’ house to go mouse hunting but she’s kind of afraid of bugs so…. Probably not.

We are on FaceTime with Bellana. Patches is hanging on every word.

I had to distract Patches because she was trying to get in between Jen and her monitor while she was playing World of Warcraft.

She was clearly thrilled by my attention.

Patches said welcome home. Then she said pet me you fat tub o’ lard.

Sometimes Patches’ words are like knives into my soul.

Meow.