Did I spell that right?

We just went to a butcher/grocery store in Salem, NH called McKinnons. We’re going to be eating the most ridiculously awesome steaks ever for weeks.

>droooooooooooool<

2/3 of you break lights are out. Come on dude, get them fixed before
someone rear ends you.

Our broker tried talking them into actually following the agreement they made and they told him they would rather lose the sale then deal with the pressure we’re putting on them.

So we found the perfect house, agreed to buy it at the seller’s price, and then had one day to enjoy the huge step we were taking in our life together only to have it pulled out from under us by sheer stupidity and amateurism and childishness.

They want a plumber to check the bathroom before the inspection? Our broker told them he could have one there in 20 minutes and they said no. They had a friend they wanted to take care of it and he couldn’t do it for a few days.

They couldn’t deal with the pressure we were putting on them to stick to the agreements they made last fucking night.

The hell with them.

Remember all the excitement from the last 18 hours or so?

All that “we’re really buying this house” excitement?

Gone. Every last bit of it.

They told our broker that we can’t have the inspection done because they’ll be in New York and don’t want anyone in their house without them. Also, they want to have a plumber look at the upstairs bathroom before our inspection because they are not sure it works.

They actually said that.

Well here’s what happened…

Yesterday our offer expired at 5:00pm and we hadn’t heard anything. We wrote the deal off as dead and started trying to move on.

At 5:17 Jen got a call from our broker. He said the reason we didn’t hear by 5:00 was he was on the phone with the seller, not the seller’s agent, and was answering basic questions about selling a house. For example, he said he was asked how one goes about getting their last water bill. Huh? Our sellers are more clueless than we thought.

But, we set a deadline and they got in ahead of the deadline so we went to visit the broker last night and sign off on the offer. The inspection is Saturday afternoon, the Purchase and Sale agreement deadline is next Friday, and the closing date is June 25th. Please please please please let everything go smoothly from here on out.

Jen and I bought a house. I am so excited I’m going to hurl!

They must be celebrating something. Maybe they are celebrating
because those pesky sellers (finally) accepted their offer. Could be.

At 5:17 they asked for another hour. What kind of people are these?

Now cheer yourself up by watching this:

There are 11… no, 10 minutes left before our offer on the house expires. I’m going to while away the time by posting on my blog. (and by IMing Jenny. Hi Jenny!)

Wil Wheaton is the king of Twitter. He posted a link to this site where you can see a great little comic that speaks to my annoyance with iTunes’ shuffle function.

I was going to post the image, but it’s the first comic this person has ever done. So out of respect you have to go to his site and see it. It’s a wired blog called Geek Dad.

Enjoy.

And in case you’re wondering there are now 6 minutes left until the offer expires. Make that 5.

While we’re at it, here’s a link to Wil Wheaton’s twitter profile. It, along with his website, are a good read. It makes me almost feel bad about wanting to see Wesley Crusher assimilated or blown out an air lock or something.

The offer now expires in 2 minutes. I guess giving them exactly what they asked for wasn’t enough. Screw them. There are better houses in town.

1 minute left.

0 minutes left.

Fuck ’em.

I found links to these stories on twitter. I tend to find breaking stories there a lot lately.

The first link is from The Huffington Post. Last night’s starting pitcher for the Los Angeles Angels was killed in a car accident…

TMZ reports that 22-year-old Los Angeles Angels rookie pitcher Nick Adenhart was killed in a hit-and-run car accident early Thursday morning — just hours after pitching six shutout innings against the Oakland A’s:

Cops say someone driving a minivan blew through a red light and hit the Mitsubishi that Adenhart was riding in. Three people were killed in the crash, including Nick.

Cops say the person driving the van fled the scene — but was later caught and charged with felony hit-and-run.

We’re told one of the other men killed in the crash was also affiliated with the Angels organization.

The AP’s story on Wednesday’s game — in which the A’s beat the Angels 6-4 — notes that it was Adenhart’s fourth major league start:

Angels rookie Nick Adenhart scattered seven hits over six scoreless innings and escaped a pair of bases-loaded jams. He struck out five and walked three in his fourth major league start.

Adenhart was born in Silver Springs, Maryland on August 24, 1986. The right-handed pitcher graduated from Williamsport High School in Maryland and made his major league debut on May 1, 2008.

Posted by Danny Shea

The second story is as creepy as that one is sad. It comes from nola.com and it may mark the start of a world wide zombie epidemic/panic. Readers may wish that this was posted on April 1st so they could write it off as a zombie April Fools joke… but it’s not April 1st. Stock up on shotguns and cricket bats folks, the zombies are coming…

Metairie man says stranger chewed, swallowed after taking bite out of his arm
by Michelle Hunter, The Times-Picayune
Tuesday April 07, 2009, 9:51 AM

A Metairie resident is recovering after a stranger bit a chunk of flesh out of his arm and swallowed it Saturday afternoon.

Joseph Lancellotti, 67, told authorities he did not know the suspect, later identified as Mario Vargas, 48, or why he was attacked in his front yard.

Lancellotti was gardening at his home in the 4400 block of Kawanee Avenue about 2 p.m. when he noticed a man walking toward his house, shouting angrily, the report said. Lancellotti said he couldn’t understand the man because he was yelling in Spanish. But when the man got within two feet, he slugged Lancellotti in the head, the report said.

Lancellotti said he tried to defend himself with a garden rake. As the men struggled over the rake, the stranger bent over and bit Lancellotti on his right forearm, the report said. Lancellotti’s flesh ripped away as he fell to the ground. The man then got on top of Lancellotti and began choking him, the report said.

It was then that neighbor Chantal Lorio, a podiatrist and director of the Wound Center at East Jefferson General Hospital, came out to check on Lancellotti. Lorio said Monday that she first thought Lancellotti was having a heart attack and the other man was trying to help him.

The stranger was still gripping Lancellotti as Lorio noticed her neighbor was lying in a pool of blood. She didn’t learn what happened until she began dressing the wound — with the stranger still clutching her neighbor’s shirt.

“He said, ‘He bit my arm, chewed the flesh and swallowed it in front of me, ‘ ” Lorio recalled. She said the bite measured almost 3 by 1 1/2 inches, and was less than 1/4-inch deep.

The pair tried to calm the stranger, who never made any attempt to run away. He eventually let go of Lancellotti and walked two blocks to a parking lot, where he hovered near an empty police car, the report said. The suspect was still standing there when deputies arrived and took him into custody.

Vargas, of 724 Camp St., New Orleans, was booked with second-degree battery. He was being held Monday at the Jefferson Parish Correctional Center in Gretna in lieu of $25,000 bail.

Lancellotti’s wife, Bonnie, 60, said Monday that her husband was recovering from the bite, physically and mentally. She said his sense of safety in his neighborhood has been shaken.

With all the bacteria involved, Lorio said a bite from a human is worse than an animal bite.

Bonnie Lancellotti also has concerns about the suspect, who apparently had been treated at East Jefferson General Hospital earlier in the day for a finger injury. Vargas was released 45 minutes before the attack, according to the incident report.

Bonnie Lancellotti wondered whether hospital staff noticed anything amiss while treating Vargas. “This person’s clearly lost his sense, ” she said. “I mean, what else can you say, eating people’s skin?”

Keith Darcey, spokesman for the hospital, said, “We cannot comment on any individual patient because of privacy laws. But as a matter of general hospital policy, the emergency department has behavioral health nurses available to help diagnose patients who might require mental health assistance.”

. . . . . . .

Michelle Hunter can be reached at mhunter@timespicayune.com or 504.883.7054.

UPDATE

No shit, not five minutes after making the above poor taste zombie (bad) jokes I read this in the Boston Phoenix…

Boston Zombie Survival Guide: How Not To Get Your Brain Devoured This Weekend

Easter is upon us, and — as is the custom — the dead are rising. For anyone who hasn’t been keeping up with their copy of the Undead Farmer’s Almanac, allow us to give you the extended weekend zombie forecast, so that you may plan accordingly.

SATURDAY APRIL 11
Coolidge Corner Theater, Brookline | 11:55 pm | $10
“Feast of Flesh VIII” presents Cemetery Man

If you value your grey matter, you would do well to avoid Harvard Street this weekend: On Saturday, the Coolidge is sure to be heaving with ghouls. Horror-meister (and real-life undertaker) J. Cannibal hosts a screening of Cemetery Man (also known as Dellamorte Dellamore). This 1994 cult-favorite Italian flick stars Rupert Everett as a boneyard custodian who, along with his Igor-like sidekick, Gnaghi, catches a bad case of zombie fever when his corpses start re-animating (check out the trailer here). As extra bait, Cannibal has thrown in a costume contest, undead punk rawk from Vagiant, and performances by Black Cat Burlesque, who’ve been known to get a rise out of even the coldest cadaver. And here’s a recap of the last “Feast of Flesh,” in case any of you would-be zombie hunters feel like taking notes.

SUNDAY APRIL 12
Davis Square, Somerville | noon | free
Boston Zombie Outbreak

Easter Sunday, this most holy day of resurrection, brings with it an onslaught of zombies (and no doubt a horde of confused, corpse-painted quislings, who can be just as dangerous). They’ll be mobilizing in Davis Square and then trudging to Harvard Square to feast on plump, well-marbled Ivy League brains. If you’re planning to be in Cambridge that day, make sure to hit the gardening aisle at a hardware store beforehand to pick up supplies — used properly, a sturdy shovel can decapitate and split open a decaying cranium faster than you can say “Cadbury Creme Egg.” But if your tactic is to infiltrate the horde, it’s easy enough to blend in. As these videos show, creating effective zombie camouflage is not only simple, it’s dirt cheap. (Protip: for aromatic authenticity, nothing simulates rotting flesh better than rancid hot-dog water; spritz liberally on pulse points for best results.)

MONDAY APRIL 13
Coolidge Corner Theatre, Brookline | 7 pm | $7.75-$9.75
“Science on Screen” presents: Night of the Living Dead

Anyone who manages to survive Sunday’s infestation is clearly a cut above the rest when it comes to zombie evasion. But if you really want to become a leader in the fight against the Gray Menace, you will need to understand the enemy. And for that, you need Steven Schlozman, a psychiatrist who has dedicated his life to studying the inner workings of walking corpses. Tonight, Schlozman addresses the all-important questions: What does the brain of a zombie look like? Do they experience consciousness? And, most importantly, why are zombies so hungry? He’ll be presenting his findings alongside a screening of the groundbreaking documentary Night of the Living Dead, field researcher George Romero’s indispensable primer that paved the way for all undead life science to come (view the trailer here).

Skip this one at your own peril. And be sure to check back next week, when thephoenix.com’s zombie-innoculated videographers present a look back at the Weekend of the Dead.
Published Apr 09 2009, 09:48 AM by Carly Carioli

Someone is definitely trying to tell us something.