Two things going through my mind as I ponder the start of the Bruins vs Canadiens series tonight.

First:

What’s the over under on Mike Komisarek surviving the series? Really, how many games is it going to take before some Bruins (probably a Bruin named Lucic) removes Mr Komisarek’s head from his neck and shouts, “There can be only one” to the cheers of his fellow Bruins and fans?

Mike Komisarek is a bitch (in hockey terms) and at some point he will be dismantled.

Second:

What does it say about the Montreal Canadiens that Celine Dion is currently trying to buy the team?

Go Bruins!

In the immortal words of Rod Stewart, “Tonight’s the night!”

(okay, so maybe I’m giving Hot Rod the Mod a tad too much credit there, but he did sing in the original Jeff Beck group and I am therefore eternally indebted to him for at least two of the records he worked on in his 9000 year long career.)

I sense I’m going to be sliding off topic quite a bit today.

Last night I watched the Penguins completely undo the Flyers. It was nice. I picked the Pens to win the series, but I would rather see the weaker Flyers win in the hopes that the Bruins will have as easy a time as possible getting to the cup finals. Assuming the Bruins can re-break their Montreal jinx. The lost something like 9852 consecutive playoff series to the Canadiens before finally beating them in… in… 1988 was it? I think so. Now we’ve lost three in a row. This streak ends this year (please please please please please let the playoff series losing streak to Montreal end this year). I am cautiously optimistic.

The Rangers beat Washington. That could be interesting. If the Bruins beat Montreal and the Rangers beat Washington we could have a chance to spank both of our most hated rivals in the same playoff year. Montreal and New York. That could be fun.

What the hell did I do to myself? I’ve been having a toothache for a couple of days. That’s driving me a little nuts at times, but mostly it’s been manageable. This morning though I feel like I pulled a muscle in my left shoulder. Every time I move my head I get pain from the shoulder blade all the way up to behind me ear. This sucks!

Jen was on call last night starting at 10:30. Her company rolled out a new code version and she had to work on any bugs that immediately popped up. I told her I’d stay up with her. She was working until 1:30 in the morning. I was in bed at 10:40. I totally failed her. I need to do something sweet for her to make it up to her. I’m not very good with stuff like that though, so post a comment with an idea or two.

Speaking of comments, we have the opportunity to see the San Diego Padres play in three different stadiums during the California portion of our honeymoon. We can see them play at home, at Dodgers’ Stadium, and the Big A in Anaheim. Three games on our honeymoon is pushing it. We might go to two games at most. Which stadiums should we go to? Vote for one or two of the above mentioned three in a comment please. Thanks

I’m going to go take a fist full of aspirin in hopes of deadening the pain in my retarded shoulder.

Go Bruins.

Sitting here watching the Pens and Flyers. Pens up 2-0 in the third. I called it.

Sadly New Jersey is spanking Carolina 3-0 in the third. I didn’t call that.

The Rangers and Capitals are tied at 3. I didn’t call that either.

Still have the St. Louis vs Vancouver game tonight. Let’s go Blues!

God, I love the NHL Playoffs. I even have the kids saying they are going to ask their father if they can watch the Bruins game tomorrow. Yes, I love those kids!

WOOHOOO!

Go Bruins!

I’m not saying anything…

But the Red Sox are playing Oakland right now and are up 6-0 in the top of the 8th. That’s not the most important thing though… but I refuse to be the one who jinxes whatever it is that Tim Wakefield may or may not be doing in this game.

First off, HAPPY TAX DAY to the U.S.A.!

My father and my brother are both tax accountants. Today is a magical day for them. It’s the day they get their lives back. From basically late January through mid April they spend every waking moment preparing other people’s taxes. They work their asses off, they stress like you wouldn’t believe. They miss out on a lot of friends and family time. But today it’s over. Today is the day they rejoin society. Welcome back guys!

On to other news. Yesterday Jen asked me if I would mind if we altered the honeymoon plans a bit. The plan at that point was to go from the wedding to a b&b in Woodstock, VT. Then after a couple of nights drive to Gettysburg, PA and get our civil war history geek groove on. (did I just say “get our groove on?”) Then after a couple of days go to Washington, DC and get our government town history geek groove on. (did I just do it again? Shoot me!). Then after almost a week we’d mosey on home and spend almost a week just being with each other and relaxing.

Not anymore. We’ve filled up the second week. We’re going to San Diego, CA. I hear they’ve got internet in Californy. The only definite San Diego plan is to go to the zoo. After that it’s all open. Today Jen asked me if I’d be interested in hitting a Padres game. Or a Dodgers game. Or an Angels game. Or all of the above. Last week we talked about going to an Orioles game or a Nationals game while we were in DC. How sick would it be if we went to five major league games in five different cities. It could be the baseball honeymoon dream trip! I don’t care what we do at any stop on the honeymoon so long as we do it together. If we’re together it’ll be a complete blast.

Now for what will be a nearly constant blog topic for the next couple of months. The NHL playoffs. The first round starts tonight. I plan to torture the kids by forcing them to watch the Philly vs Pittsburgh game on Versus. Tonight Jen is on call so she will be up very late. I will stay up with her and catch some of the St. Louis vs Vancouver game, also on Versus. I don’t know if the NHL network will be carrying any games (they freakin’ better!) but hopefully I’ll be able to catch some of the Carolina vs New Jersey and NY Rangers vs Washington games as well.

Tonight we are rooting for Pittsburgh, St. Louis, Carolina, and Washington. The real game is on tomorrow though when my beloved Boston Bruins face off against the vile, evil, scumbag, child molesting, devil worshiping, cousin pokin’ Montreal Canadiens. You can guess who I want to win in that matchup.

I am hoping that the Bruins will defeat said cousin pokin’ Montreal in four games without suffering any injuries to any players. The other seven series I am hoping will go seven games each and every top line skater, top defense pairing, and starting goaltender will suffer season ending injuries. I want to make it as easy as possible for my Bruins to take the cup this year.

That’ll do for now.

Three important things to remember when watching the Bruins in the playoffs.

One of those mornings…

Slept late. Just a little late, but enough to have to rush into work. Which is tough to do seeing as work is about 70 minutes from home (on a good day… today was a good day).

My stomach is off. My nose is stuffy (just a little, better than yesterday). I ate McDonalds last night and I am totally paying for it. After the better part of a month eating correctly on weight watchers I fell off the wagon hard for Easter. We had dinner with Jen’s mom and step dad on Saturday, then on Easter Sunday we had brunch at the kid’s father’s house and another huge dinner at my parent’s house. Then there is the little issue of the gobs and gobs of chocolate available in the house. My stomach is not happy with me right now. There were a few minutes there when I considered calling in sick out of fear that my entire digestive system would revolt on me. How’s that for too much info on a Tuesday morning.

I am feeling achy all over. My head aches, my neck aches, my legs ache, everything aches. This sucks. I better feel better by Saturday. Saturday is my not-bachelor party. Instead of the traditional bachelor and bachelorette parties our wedding party, ie my brother and his wife, are throwing us a joint get together. Not a bachelor party, not a bachelorette party, but something combined that falls somewhere in between both of them. I don’t know what it is or who is going. I just know that it involved Boston and jeans are not an outfit option. You’ll know more on Saturday night when I tweet/blog the dickens out of the thing.

Last night I saw a post on twitter saying that Mark Fidrych had died. Fidrych was a Massachusetts guy who piched in the major leagues for Detroit in the mid 70’s. He was briefly a superstar. He won the rookie of the year award in 1976. He also came in 2nd in Cy Young voting and a very respectable 11th in MVP balloting. He was one of baseball’s better personalities. He was known for getting down on his hands and knees and grooming the pitcher’s mound during games. He was better known for talking to baseballs. He also would occasionally ask umpires to remove balls from play because he felt they “had hits in them.” Simply put he was a whack job. In ’76 he did two things. Win games and sell shit loads of tickets. He also is the shining example of mismanagement of a young pitcher. His manager relied on him so heavily during that amazing season that his body pretty much revolted and his career was ruined as soon as it started. Read this article for the specifics.

I once went to a baseball clinic at ULowell with my father and his little league team. I had already aged off of his 10-12 year old team and I don’t think my brother was old enough yet, but I think he was there too. They had two major leaguers working along with the ULowell team. The major leaguers were Spanky LaVallier (who hopefully won’t sue me for butching the spelling of his name… sorry dude) who if memory serves had just moved from the Pittsburgh Pirates to the St. Louis Cardinals and would not long after become the Cardinals’ starting catcher. The other big leaguer was Mark Fidrych who had recently made an attempt at a comeback with the Red Sox but never got out of AAA.

Spanky was there to talk hitting, and at the end of the day they raffled off one of his bats. It’s still in the closet in my old bedroom in Tewksbury. When I was 15 I used it in Senior League games. It is huuuge but I think I might have snuck a hit or two out of it.

Mark Fidrych was there to tell the youngsters in the crowd about the dangers of throwing curve balls. He told us horror stories about how his arm had been mangled so badly he would never have proper use of it again. He actually lifted it up and showed us how it would no longer hang straight. The lesson was that throwing junk pitches has a physical affect on you. It’s bad enough for an adult, but for a kid, especially a kid who is just hitting puberty, it can ruin you. Fidrych was 21 at the start of his rookie season. he was only three years out of high school. It’s hard to imagine him going through puberty as a fastball pitcher and in three years becoming a league dominating junk pitcher. He was a curve ball guy all through his life, and after one gloriously fantastic major league season it was pretty much over.

Ironically, we saw him on NESN last week while Jen and I were at my parent’s house. Dad and I reminisced a little about that clinic and about his wackiness on the mound. Now less than a week later we learn that he’s gone. He was 54 and far too young. Rest in Peace Bird.

In happier sporting news, EA Sports ran their annual NHL Playoff simulation and the predicted winner is? None other than our own Boston Bruins! Granted, EA picked San Jose last year… funny, so did I. Here is their story.

That’s it for now, but some one just emailed me youtube clips of the Bruins playoff ad campaign… you might be seeing those in a little while.

Until then… Go Bruins!

The only thing that sucks about this year’s NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs is that we have to wait until Thursday for the start of the Boston vs Montreal rematch.

Last year the Bruins were seeded 8th and the Habs were seeded 1st. It went to seven games and the B’s came oh so close to embarrassing the hated Canadiens with a first round exit. Sadly the Bruins couldn’t take that seventh game.

This year the Bruins are seeded 1st and the Canadiens are seeded 8th. As always, my optimism is of the cautious variety, but I am definitely picking the Bruins in the first round, and this year I’m not doing it out of loyalty, I’m doing it because the Bruins are clearly the better team.

Here is the schedule of games for all 8 series, from NHL.com:

2009 EASTERN CONFERENCE QUARTERFINALS

SERIES A
#1 Boston vs. #8 Montreal
Network
Thursday, April 16 at Boston, 7:00 p.m. CBC, RDS
Saturday, April 18 at Boston, 8:00 p.m. VERSUS, CBC, RDS
Monday, April 20 at Montreal, 7:00 p.m. CBC, RDS
Wednesday, April 22 at Montreal, 7:00 p.m. CBC, RDS
*Saturday, April 25 at Boston, 7:00 p.m. CBC, RDS
*Monday, April 27 at Montreal, TBD CBC, RDS
*Wednesday, April 29 at Boston, TBD CBC, RDS

SERIES B
#2 Washington vs. #7 New York Rangers
Network
Wednesday, April 15, at Washington, 7:00 p.m. TSN
Saturday, April 18 at Washington, 1:00 p.m. NBC, TSN
Monday, April 20 at New York, 7:00 p.m. VERSUS, TSN
Wednesday, April 22 at New York, 7:00 p.m. VERSUS, TSN
*Friday, April 24 at Washington, 7:00 p.m. VERSUS, TSN, RDS
*Sunday, April 26 at New York, 2:00 p.m. NBC, TSN, RDS
*Tuesday, April 28 at Washington, TBD VERSUS, TSN, RDS

SERIES C
#3 New Jersey vs. #6 Carolina
Network
Wednesday, April 15 at New Jersey, 7:30 p.m. TSN, RIS
Friday, April 17 at New Jersey, 7:30 p.m. TSN, RIS
Sunday, April 19 at Carolina, 7:30 p.m. TSN, RIS
Tuesday, April 21 at Carolina, 7:30 p.m. TSN, RIS
*Thursday, April 23 at New Jersey, 7:30 p.m. TSN, RIS
*Sunday, April 26 at Carolina, TBD TSN, VERSUS
*Tuesday, April 28 at New Jersey, 7:30 p.m. TSN

SERIES D
#4 Pittsburgh vs. #5 Philadelphia
Network
Wednesday, April 15 at Pittsburgh, 7:00 p.m. VERSUS, CBC, RDS
Friday, April 17 at Pittsburgh, 7:00 p.m. VERSUS, CBC, RDS
Sunday, April 19 at Philadelphia, 3:00 p.m. NBC, CBC, RDS
Tuesday, April 21 at Philadelphia, 7:00 p.m. VERSUS, CBC, RDS
*Thursday, April 23 at Pittsburgh, 7:00 p.m. VERSUS, CBC, RDS
*Saturday, April 25 at Philadelphia, 3:00 p.m. NBC, CBC
*Monday, April 27 at Pittsburgh, TBD VERSUS, CBC

2009 WESTERN CONFERENCE QUARTERFINALS

SERIES E
#1 San Jose vs. #8 Anaheim
Network
Thursday, April 16 at San Jose, 10:30 p.m. VERSUS, CBC, RDS
Sunday, April 19 at San Jose, 10:00 p.m. VERSUS, CBC, RDS
Tuesday, April 21 at Anaheim, 10:30 p.m. VERSUS, CBC, RDS
Thursday, April 23 at Anaheim, 10:30 p.m. VERSUS, CBC, RDS
*Saturday, April 25 at San Jose, 10:00 p.m. VERSUS, CBC, RDS
*Monday, April 27 at Anaheim, TBD VERSUS, CBC, RDS
*Wednesday, April 29 at San Jose, TBD VERSUS, CBC, RDS

SERIES F
#2 Detroit vs. #7 Columbus
Network
Thursday, April 16 at Detroit, 7:00 p.m. VERSUS, TSN
Saturday, April 18 at Detroit, 6:00 p.m. TSN
Tuesday, April 21 at Columbus, 7:00 p.m. TSN
Thursday, April 23 at Columbus, 7:00 p.m. TSN
*Saturday, April 25 at Detroit, 7:00 p.m. VERSUS, TSN
*Monday, April 27 at Columbus, TBD TSN
*Wednesday, April 29 at Detroit, TBD VERSUS, TSN

SERIES G
#3 Vancouver vs. #6 St. Louis
Network
Wednesday, April 15 at Vancouver, 10:00 p.m. CBC, VERSUS, RDS
Friday, April 17 at Vancouver, 10:00 p.m. CBC, VERSUS, RDS
Sunday, April 19 at St. Louis, 7:00 p.m. CBC, VERSUS
Tuesday, April 21 at St. Louis, 8:00 p.m. CBC, VERSUS
*Friday, April 24 at Vancouver, 10:00 p.m. CBC, VERSUS, RDS
*Sunday, April 26 at St. Louis, 8:00 p.m. CBC, VERSUS, RDS
*Tuesday, April 28 at Vancouver, TBD CBC, VERSUS, RDS

SERIES H
#4 Chicago vs. #5 Calgary
Network
Thursday, April 16 at Chicago, 8:30 p.m. TSN, VERSUS
Saturday, April 18 at Chicago, TBD TSN
Monday, April 20 at Calgary, 9:30 p.m. TSN, VERSUS
Wednesday, April 22 at Calgary, TBD TSN, VERSUS
*Saturday, April 25 at Chicago, 10:00 p.m. TSN, RIS
*Monday, April 27 at Calgary, TBD TSN
*Wednesday, April 29 at Chicago, TBD TSN

– * denotes if necessary
– All Times are Eastern Standard Time

Okay then, you’ve waited all year… here are my out-of-my-ass First Round Playoff Predictions!

Easter Conference first, of course.

Boston vs Montreal:
I will never be confident picking the Bruins over the Canadiens. There are too many examples of much better Bruins teams getting their hearts ripped out by a bunch of bitches called Canadiens. Still, this year Boston has dominated. I pick the Bruins. Again, not just because they are my home town team, but because they are the better team.

Washington vs New York:
Part of me wanted New York to finish 8th so the Bruins would get them instead of Montreal. I hate New York. It will be a pleasure to watch the Capitals destroy them. Hopefully in four games, but probably not more than five. I pick Washington.

New Jersey vs Carolina:
Interesting series. The Hurricanes were unreal down the stretch. The Devils were unreal just before the stretch and then came unglued at the end. I think the Hurricanes win this, but I expect New Jersey to put up a good fight. I’d like to see this one go seven games. I pick Carolina.

Pittsburgh vs Philadelphia:
I love it when arch rivals meet in the post season. (see Boston vs Montreal) I think Pittsburgh had the better team and I am going with them this time. Not just because if my predictions pan out we’ll see a Crosby vs Ovetchkin second round series. I pick the Penguins.

Western Conference

San Jose vs Anaheim:
I’ve gone with San Jose each of the last two or three years. I think they are the best team in the league, and I think they’ve been the best team for quite a while. Yet they still seem to make me look like a chump every time I pick them. At least in the second round. In the first round I’ve always been right. Sorry Anaheim but you’re going to get your asses handed to you. I pick San Jose to breeze through this series. (next round though… there might be a change)

Detroit vs Columbus:
Congratulations to the Blue Jackets! Way to go! Finally, for the first time in franchise history you get to go to the dance! Excellent job! Now as a reward you get to lose four straight games to one of the greatest teams in human history, the Detroit Red Wings! Enjoy it while you can! I pick Detroit in a laugher. No offense Columbus. I really am proud of you.

Vancouver vs St. Louis:
Every year I try to make at least one ridiculously stupid upset prediction. This is it. Lots of people are picking Vancouver to win in the west. Why? Because they are a great team and they are playing on fire right now. Me? I’m picking The Blues. Granted their proverbial wad is probably shot just getting to the post season, never mind jumping up to the sixth seed. Still, I am jumping on the St. Louis bandwagon (in the first round at least) and I am picking them to totally upset the much better Vancouver Canucks.

Chicago vs Calgary:
I’m a Calgary fan. I am not a Chicago fan. Chicago is probably a slightly better team, but I am going to pick the Flames again. It would be an upset from the standing’s point of view, but probably not that big of an upset. I like ’em, I’m pickin’ ’em. Flames in seven.

There you have it, my totally uninformed 2009 NHL Stanley Cup Playoff Predictions. I can’t friggin wait until Thursday!!!! (Wednesday too… the playoffs themselves start Wednesday, but the big game is Boston vs Montreal on Thursday.)

It’s going to be a lot of fun, as always.

GO BRUINS!

Happy Easter (where applicable)