Category: Uncategorized

That New Harry Potter Short Story

I just read it. It’s cute.

There’s a copy of it here. I tried finding it on pottermore.com, but all I could find were write ups on the Quidditch World Cup. You’ll be pleased to know that the USA made it to the semifinals.

Mediversary

Oh yeah…

Today is July 12, 2014.

10 years ago today I started a new job.

I’m still there.

I had planned on maybe 2-3 years before moving on.

I’m still there.

I’m still not sure how I feel about that, but I know for sure that I ain’t goin’ nowhere. I’m not doing what I planned to do, but I’m doing okay.

Lights Out

I’m tired, so tired. It’s bed time for ol’ Robbie and it ain’t ever 9:00 yet.

I wanted to get a ton of music done today. I got some, but not a ton. There’s another song ready to mix, and I added two more (bad) songs to the list. Forward progress, my friends.

Tomorrow should be music free. We get to drive through the wilderness to get the kids at camp. The last two nights have sucked without having them here. We will make up for it tomorrow night at the camp fire. I must check my camera’s battery!

I’m a Dolt

I’m back at work after a three day weekend. It was only three days. Just one measly day longer than usual.

Why then could I not get my act together this morning? Why did everything take so long? Why did I leave home without my wallet?

Either I am seriously dumb or there is something wrong with me. My 10th anniversary at this company is next week. I’ve never once in all that time forgotten my wallet. Today is the first time I’ve done that. I pulled some quarters out of the toll-booth-coin-cup in the car. Looks like it’s a snickers bar for lunch for me. Yippee.

Noise Pollution

Jen is working on a coding project. She’s basically making those little electrical signals dance a ballet inside of that iMac of hers. I am an awe. I’m not saying that because she’s my wife and I love her. I’m saying that because I am a programmer and she can do things that are so far beyond my skills that I may as well be programming using a hammer and chisel on a cave wall.

Anyway, she’s got her big headphones on and she can’t hear anything going on around her. That means she can’t hear the neighbors’ party down the street, including the massively loud music.

What am I going to do though? I have two options… Call the cops, or try to come up with a new song idea. I am taking an iOS update on my phone… so I guess it’s music time!

On a side note, at this moment they are blasting Kenny Loggins’ “Danger Zone”. Just last night Jen and I watched the episode of Archer where Archer and Pam kidnap Kenny Loggins to get him to play Lana’s baby shower.

It is such a small world!

(they followed “Danger Zone” with “Land Down Under” by Men at Work. It’s like 1982 ’round here!)

I am the Angel of Death (in Some Circles)

I took a picture of a snake in the cellar last night. It was dead. I left it there with the intention of getting rid of it this morning.

There is a snow shovel in the cellar. Why? Because once I found a live garter snake and I used a snow shovel to kill it. Now, so long as the shovel is not needed in the driveway, it stays in the cellar. I grabbed our broom and took it downstairs with the plan to sweep the corpse onto the shovel, dump it into a trash barrel, and then take the barrel outside. I had to walk over to the other end of the cellar to get the shovel. As I was heading over to the laundry area, where last night’s dead sucker was decaying, I walked behind the couch.

There was another one.

Mutha Puss Bucket!

Was it dead? I don’t know. It wasn’t moving. What do I do? I reached out with the broom and poked it. It was alive all right. It took off for a hiding place, but I used the broom to sweep it back out into the open, where I bashed it with the shovel. SLAM! It wasn’t all the way dead, but it was broken enough that it didn’t matter. Sweep sweep, scoop scoop, it’s in the trash. Sweep sweep, scoop scoop, last night’s bastard was in the trash.

Now I’m paranoid. I went wandering around, looking for more of the little s.o.b’s. Turns out there was this thing that I thought was a twisty tie (the cat LOVES to play with twisty ties) in a corner that turned out to be another dead one. I first saw it a couple of days ago but didn’t think anything of it. Sweep sweep, scoop scoop, carry the barrel outside and deposit three little home invaders.

I should also add that last weekend while I was mowing the grass I happened to see one slithering along the edge of the patio. Garter snakes are easier to kill with a lawn mower than with a shovel, I’ll tell you that for nothing. I left the corpse behind, figuring some animal would make use of it. The next day I took a look and it was gone.

I’m going to assume that it was the screwy weather last night that brought two of them into the open. I’m also going to assume that the very, very cold cellar floor will put and end to all of those that do come out of hiding. If not that, then the cat. Those that do show themselves and somehow manage to survive will have to face me and my shovel. From the garter snake’s point of view, I am the angel of death. I am the back breaker. I am the head smasher. I am snakey heaven’s justice.

(if you are a garter snake) Don’t mess with me.

Back Yard Wild Kingdom Moment

I am working from home today. When lunch time came I decided I’d cook the last hamburger out on the grill. A little cookout for one, if you will.

In one hand I had a plate with the burger on it along with a couple of grill utensils. In the other I had a little tray table I use to place all my stuff on while I grill like a grilling demon wannabe.

I put the tray table down while I opened the garage’s back door. Immediately upon opening the door a dragon fly blew past. Good! I’ve been hoping to see those little buggers. Dragon flies eat mosquitoes and we sure could handle a drastic reduction in the back yard mosquito population. Welcome back, dragon fly!

As I took my first step toward the open door I saw something even better. Probably only 20-30 yards away, flying slowly, almost casually, across the far end of the yard was a great big honkin’ red tail hawk. Right there, as large as life (literally). It landed on a low branch of a tree near the edge of the woods. It sat there for a second, just long enough for me to get a good look and for him to notice there was a great big two legged sucker walking out of the building. It took off into the woods and I quickly lost sight of it.

As I grilled up my lunch, I kept an eye on the trees and on the sky. I saw a big butterfly, and a bluejay, but that was it. I told myself that if the hawk came back into the yard I was going to give it my burger.

Maybe if I feed it, it will start killing off the damn squirrels that eat all of my bird food.

Snooty American

I don’t mean to be a snooty American, but right now I just can’t help it.

The USA has been eliminated from the World Cup, right? Can we go back to ignoring soccer for another four years? I know that the rest of the world lives and dies by soccer but… Urgh! It’s so desperately dull! It makes watching American football players standing in a huddle while the game clock ticks away seem utterly thrilling.

The worst part is listening to the pompous asses talk about how uncivilized we are for not giving a rats ass about the latest one to nil after penalty kicks decision where half the players in the match commit Greg Luganis (sp? Sorry, Greg) caliber dives that make even P K Subban roll his eyes in disgust.

As my very good, lifelong friend Larry said today when an email conversation turned to soccer, “Piss Off!”

The Annual July 2nd Post

Hello everyone, and welcome to the annual July 2nd post!

John Adams was the first Vice President of the United States. He was also the second President of the United States. Unfortunately for his legacy, he was also the first “one termer” President. Oh well, you can’t win ’em all.

Of equal significance, he was also a Masshole! My Peoples!

Prior to being elected to a Federal office (prior to the existence of “Federal” as a political concept), John Adams was a delegate from Massachusetts to the Continental Congress. As such he is also a signer of the Declaration of Independence.

Given all that, it’s safe to say that President John Adams knew a thing or two about Independence Day. Included in what he knew, was that our Nation’s birthday, the literal Independence Day was July 2, 1776. Not July 4, 1776. If Adams had gotten his way, all of the United States would be at the beach having cookouts today instead of two days from now.

Why?

July 2nd was the date that the Continental Congress voted to declare themselves independent from Great Britain. July 4th was the day that they ratified the document that spelled out their reasons for declaring independence, what we now call The Declaration of Independence. According to Adams, when the document was ratified, we had already been independent for two whole days. He pushed to have Independence Day celebrated on July 2nd, not July 4th.

Given that it is roasting hot outside and all of us are stuck here at work, I am fully in agreement that July 2nd should be the day we celebrate our nation’s birth. In other words, I wanna go home!!!!