Category: Generic

Autobiography Again

Daily writing prompt
You’re writing your autobiography. What’s your opening sentence?
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This is the second time they’ve given us a daily prompt about our autobiography. This is so lame. So exceptionally lame.

Try these on for size…

  • He was grotesquely obese, mentally and physically. Then he went under the knife and had his guts butchered and rearranged. Then he was only grotesquely obese mentally.
  • He had no real brains to speak of, no talents, nothing special at all and yet somehow he lived a long time without accidentally blowing himself to smithereens.
  • He was a Rush fan, but was Rush a fan of him? Probably not.
  • First he was a red head. Then he was a husband and a step father. Then he was old.
  • Soft as a sneaker full of shit.
  • Cursed from day one with red hair.
  • A roll model for how to be a bad person without being a nazi.
  • At least he wasn’t a fascist like so many other Americans.
  • How to always say exactly the wrong thing: A red head’s story.
  • Inside the red head’s head there was nothing but mud.
  • If ever there was a life that wasted too much time and energy on Star Wars, this was it.
  • Mad Eye Moody said it best in Harry Potter #4: “his head may be filled with sawdust.”

Those are all possibilities, but there is one that would sum them all up perfectly. One that would be the first line of my autobiography, the last line of my autobiography, every line of my autobiography……….

Meh.

Me

Three Objects

Daily writing prompt
What are three objects you couldn’t live without?
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Okay, I am not going to take this question so literally that I answer food, water, and shelter. I am going to take it literally enough that I don’t gloss over the word “objects” and answer Jen, Bellana, and Harry. I am going to take it seriously and try to come up with three material items that I really can’t get along without. Okay? Now that I have established the ground rules, we’re good to go?

Right then, three objects I can’t really live without.

  1. My glasses. I’ve been wandering around the house this morning, getting things ready for the wall/tile guy who’s coming over today for the next phase of the kitchen remodeling, and when I got up and started getting stuff done I forgot to put on my glasses. I couldn’t read my watch, I couldn’t read the receipt from Lowe’s, I couldn’t see anything clearly. I need my glasses. I can’t get along without them.
  2. I need a computer to do my job. I also need it to keep track of my food and water post-gastric bypass surgery. I also need it to keep in touch with everyone I need to keep in touch with. It’s also more or less my TV and movie and book and music connection. I could get by with my iPhone, but I am more efficient and productive with an actual computer. It’s sort of a necessity for life at this point.
  3. My car. Since Covid started I haven’t been driving nearly as much as I used to, but it is still absolutely a necessity. If the kids have a problem, I need to be able to get to them. If anyone in the extended family has a problem, I need to be able to get to them. If the contractor realizes he doesn’t have enough tile to finish the kitchen back splash, then I need to be able to go out and get him more quickly. My car allows me to do all of that, as well as a million other things. It would be nice to not need a car, but I wouldn’t be very good in a world like that. I need my car.

So there you go. I took the question seriously, but not too literally. Here’s hoping you all have a good Sunday. The Boston Bruins aren’t playing today, which is disappointing, but after getting shelled by the Islanders last night it’s probably a good thing. Other than that, may your Sunday be grande.

Installation: Complete

They are finished installing our new IKEA kitchen. I am thrilled and amazed. I love it!

The walls will be patched and tiled tomorrow and the plumber will finish the sink and dishwasher installation on Monday.

Wow!

Errands

I snuck out for some errands this morning before the work crew got here. I drove around town to a Home Depot and a Lowe’s, prepping for phase two which starts tomorrow.

How about some pics from the road?

The clock, of course
I saw two of these Merrimack Valley transit buses
Nevins Library

So what was input getting? Wall tiles, adhesive, grout, and paint. There is still so much to do, even though they are miles ahead of where I thought they would be.

Tiles and touch ups tomorrow.

Growth

Daily writing prompt
What experiences in life helped you grow the most?
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Would it be easier to ask what experiences did not help me grow? Every experience leads to growth. That’s kind of the point, isn’t it? We’re human. That’s what we do. Theoretically of course. Maybe not if you’re a maga cult member. Who knows.

Here are some things. I am not going into details about how each thing changed me. Mostly because it’s kind of obvious when you think about it. We’re probably all just about the same in these respects. I will also try to keep the sarcasm at a minimum, but I can promise you that I will fail in that regard. Spoiler alert.

  • Failing at my first attempt at college, and similarly succeeding in my second
  • Starting a career and not failing miserably at it
  • Starting a relationship with Jen
  • Literally everything that has happened with respect to being both a husband and a step father. There are a lot of failures in there, but a few glowing successes too
  • Becoming a home owner… who knew?
  • Having weight loss surgery. I don’t know who I am anymore, or what I am, or how to be who or what I am. My entire identity has been shuffled. Jen got annoyed with me the other day when I referred to myself as “fat boy”. Thankfully I still have red hair, but for how long?
  • Losing my mother
  • After 86 years of colossal failures, the 2004 Boston Red Sox finally won the World Series. That lead to so much personal growth. The Bruins winning the Stanley Cup in 2011 did too, but they had actually previously won it in my lifetime so it felt a little different. Granted that previous win came when I was about one year old, but it still counts.
  • Seeing Star Wars for the first time. Seeing the original trilogy end. Then decades later getting a second trilogy that I never thought would happen. Then another decade after that getting the third trilogy and seeing that through. Then getting a bunch of television series and more movies. All of this Star Wars has lead to oh so very much personal growth
  • After almost 14 years of talking about it, getting the kitchen remodeled. I feel like a new man when I stand in the new kitchen, and it isn’t even done yet

How’s that list. We just have to accept the fact that the Red Sox are going to finish in last place again, and our championship run is long over and won’t be coming back for quite a while. Let’s just hope the current drought doesn’t last 86 years like that last one did. The new season is just a few short weeks away though. Eternal optimism, even in the face of certain baseball doom.

What was I talking about?