Please Take This Seriously

Well we sure had the rug pulled out from under us yesterday.

Social Distancing.  We’re doing it.  We’re working from home, we’re staying away from other people as much as humanly possible, we’re cutting back on our trips to the store and all that fun stuff.

We’re not necessarily staying at home, though that might change, but we are not coming anywhere near other humans.  We are taking walks around the neighborhood.  Other people are around and we wave and say hello, but we aren’t approaching anyone.  We also go for drives.  We only get out of the car if we’ve been going too long and need to stretch our legs, in which case we find an empty parking lot, or if we need gas, in which case we don’t go near other people.

We thought that was the way it was all around.  We were wrong.

Our first quarantine road trip was just a couple of exists up route 93.  Our second was much longer.  We drove to Concord, NH and then to Rochester, NH and then home.  Yesterday, for road trip three, I had the bright idea to drive up to the ocean and wander up the coast.  I suggested it for two reasons.  One, seeing the ocean always feels good.  Two, it would be fun to see the beaches empty on a weekend day.  You know, everyone will be home so we’ll have the road to ourselves.

Wrong.

We drove to Salisbury Beach.  We didn’t approach the beach itself, but at the end of the runway there were some cars parked on the road and a few people could be seen in the distance.  Nothing much different than what I expected.  The parking lots were empty.  Then we turned north and headed to Hampton Beach across the state line and the bubble burst.

Hampton Beach is much bigger than Salisbury, and the ocean can be seen from the road.  That’s why I like that drive.  There is crap tons of parking and nice sidewalks for folks to hang out on before walking onto the beach.  Yesterday we were shocked.  The parking lots were nearly full and the sidewalks, while not mobbed exactly, were really busy.  I didn’t see any specific groups of larger than 10 people.  I saw what looked like a family of seven, and a group of eight older teenage kids.  No one was in a group of 10, but on the sidewalk there were 100 or so groups of two and three, all walking up and down the street together.  Were they all six feet apart?  Absolutely not.  It was a typical busy street.  The traffic was crazy too.  It wasn’t summertime at the beach traffic, but it was about normal for a cold day in early spring.

If one person in that sidewalk crowd was carrying the virus without showing symptoms then hundreds (at least) of people were exposed.  What the hell were these people thinking?  Worst of all?  Almost all of the people we saw were middle age and older.  They were almost all in the high risk group.  All of them.  Hundreds of them.  Again, what the hell are these people doing?

I felt stupid just being in the same time zone as these people.  I thought we were being as safe as we could be.  Now this.  Just amazing.  Every single one of those people had their head shoved firmly up their own ass.  I still can’t believe it.  It makes me want to stay at home with the doors locked.  I knew that the average person in America was kinda dumb (half of them voted for Trump after all) but my faith in my fellow man has been completely shit on.

Stay home, you friggin’ morons.

The Stir Crazy Files – Episode 6

Having a cat means that I will always be at the top of my baby talking to animals game.  So long as there is a cat in our house I will always be practicing and perfecting my baby talking to animals craft.

I wonder what she thought as we all spent the entire week in the house.  Even including vacations, we’ve never all stayed home for a full week.  I’m guessing she was pissed, then forgot all about it, then was pissed, then forgot all about it… wash, rinse, repeat.

Anyone else sick of this shit yet?  My love and I could have gone out for a dinner date last night but we couldn’t.  I would have had a band practice tonight (probably) but I won’t.  Bellana could have been on a trip to Montreal with friends from school but she’s not.  Harry could be counting through all the big bucks he made working at the restaurant last night but he’s not.

This sucks.  This also isn’t going to end any time soon.

Crud.

The Stir Crazy Files – Episode 5

My wife made a command decision. She said that even after all this quarantini stuff is over she’s kinda done with visiting Manhattan.

I proposed that from this day forward all of our vacationing would be in Iowa or Kansas or some other mostly empty place.

Also, today we had a Socially Distanced visit. We went to Jen’s mom’s house but we didn’t go inside. We stood in the driveway while she stayed on the front porch. We managed to visit in person without coming anywhere near each other.

We also tried buying groceries with instacart. I don’t recommend it. The buyer got literally everything on our list wrong. What the ever loving fuck are we supposed to do with two packages of salted cod and three six packs of… I can’t even say it, it’s too awful… caffeine free Diet Pepsi?

I ended up going to the super market myself… twice. Oh well.

The Stir Crazy Files – Episode 4

I just poured myself a bowl of Cheerios.  Not to go off on a tangent, but the box of Cheerios we have is not actually Cheeri-“o”‘s.  They are heart shaped.  They are not “o” shaped.  I can’t help but think that is part of the reason why the world is in such chaos today.

But I digress… back to the stir crazy file….

I poured out a bowl of Cheerios for breakfast.  I then opened up the utensil drawer and grabbed a fork.

It’s going to be a long quarantine, babie.

Work Week #1 – Wrap Up

I haven’t read the news yet today.  Has Massachusetts upgraded from Social Distance to Shelter in Place?  That was the rumor going around yesterday.  I don’t think it makes any real difference as far as how we’ve been riding things out goes.  The only thing they could do to mess us up is restrict traffic over the state line.  That would be a major problem for us.  We live in Massachusetts.  The kids’ dad lives in New Hampshire.  We have to be able to travel back and forth.  I’m not going to worry about that today.

So how did the first week at home go as far as work is concerned?  It went okay.  Our upper management suggested we have regular check ins with our staff, and to have the group as a whole meet as often as possible.  We already do that.  Daily check in meetings for the entire group and weekly one on one check ins have been in place for a couple of years now.  I feel like I am way ahead of that particular curve.  My manager did not have regular check ins with his directs so he set up quick, full group check ins for every other day.

It’s all about trying to make us feel connected.  As it is, there are only two days a week when my entire group is in the same building at the same time.  We all telecommute, some of the guys telecommute twice a week.  We have a guy who works in a different building a couple of days a week.  On Tuesdays I’m the only one in the building.  On Thursdays none of us are in the building.  Despite that, I never got the sense that we were disconnected.  This week?  I felt it a little.  I can’t say exactly why, but maybe it was just something in tone of everyone’s voice during the daily meetings.  Maybe it was just me and I was projecting it onto everyone else.

Productivity didn’t go down as far as I could see.  For me personally, I spent more time with my hands on the code than I have in a while.  I did have one miscommunication with another group’s supervisor, but it was a timing thing and it had nothing to do with everyone being at home.  One quick email resolved it and all was well.  No worries at all.  I did have to shoot down a request from another group.  I brought my manager into the discussion, and he told me later that he fully intended to back me up, but a manager from another group stepped in and beat him to it.  I had all sorts of people agreeing with my downer of a decision.  I felt nice and validated.

That doesn’t mean the whole thing wasn’t super weird though.  Thursday is my usual telecommuting day.  This week literally every day felt like Thursday.  Even as I was signing out for the day on Friday I still couldn’t quite wrap my head around the fact that I wouldn’t be driving to the office the next day.  Today is Saturday and I still woke up at the same time I do on a work day.  That isn’t uncommon, but today when I woke up I had to wrack my brain for a while (0.68 seconds) to figure out what day it was and what I needed to do.

I am worried about my family’s health.  Not just physical but mental too.  I can’t control if any of us catch the bug, and statistically speaking it’s a safe bet that at least three of us will, but I can try and help with how everyone handles this mess.  I need to stay positive in the hopes that I can help to keep everyone else positive.  I can’t lose my temper… ever.  The stress level world wide right now is insanely high and am nervous that my temper’s fuse is now really short.  I cannot cannot cannot lose it.  I have to pay close attention not only to what I say to people, but how I say it.  I can’t snap.  I can’t sound pissy.  I can’t be anything other than cool and supportive.  Everyone is having a hard time with this and I need to be the rock, if I can.  Not The Rock because I don’t like wrestling and I really don’t like his acting, but just a rock.  Dig?

Okay, I am getting silly now.  It’s time to click publish.

  • Stay safe
  • Stay healthy
  • Wash Your Damn Hands
  • Keep your cool
  • Keep your focus at work
  • Don’t let it bring you down, it’s only castles burning.  Just find someone who’s turning, and you will come around. (N. Young, 1971… I think?)

Is Shelter in Place Coming?

Jen heard a rumor that Massachusetts is going to announce a shelter in place.  Unrelated, an email thread is going around work saying that we’re closing our buildings (most of them) at close of business today (that was actually decided a few days ago) but if a shelter in place goes into effect and you haven’t picked something up you’re going to be out of luck.

The kids just left for their dad’s house.  They don’t come back here until Wednesday.

I’ve been reading up on the things California and New York have set up.  The Governor of New York refuses to use the phrase “shelter in place” but California does not and the two plans sound about the same.  Whatever you call it, it sounds like you can still leave your house, there just isn’t anything to do if you do.  Does that make sense?  I have to assume that there will not be any restrictions that stop someone who has a joint custody arrangement with a co-parent from driving to the other parent’s house and picking up the kids and bringing them back to their house.

If that is somehow restricted… you can try to stop me, m’kay?

Happy Spring, at Last

Winter is dead, long live the spring.

And while we’re at it, hows about you go and choke on a big bag of dicks, winter.  You prick.

The forecast for the first day or spring is temps in the mid 60’s and a 74% chance of rain.  Pretty much the text book spring day.

California is telling the entire state to shelter in place (assuming the headline I read this morning is correct, of course).  New York is in a worse state than California and they have said they will not do the same (assuming the stories I read yesterday are correct, of course).  We haven’t heard anything along those lines from Massachusetts and New Hampshire yet.  No one I know is sick… yet.  Statistically speaking it’s just a matter of time.  As of yesterday’s state health department update there are 328 confirmed cases in Massachusetts.  The expectation is that there are probably more like 6,000.  At least that’s what they said yesterday.  The CDC count has the United States over 10,000.  I have to guess the real number is also much higher.

There is nothing we can do about it beyond the meager steps we are taking now.  We’re staying home, we’re avoiding contact as much as we can.  We’re trying to avoid going stir crazy.  Last night Jen and I got in the car and drove around.  We didn’t go anywhere.  We took the highway north a couple of exists and then took the backroads back.  It was nice to get out.

I am feeling disconnected from everyone outside of the house.  I sent some emails and texts and facebook messages yesterday.  I just want to make sure everyone is still out there.  They are.  All is well.

Just hang in there, people, and don’t forget to wash your damn hands.

The Stir Crazy Files – Episode 2 (Preempted)

I had a second episode of The Stir Crazy Files all lined up and ready to go and then something came along to negate the need for it.

Yesterday my love came up with a plan to take a tiny little bite out of the cabin fever and also fight against the lack of exercise we are bound to suffer from during our social distancing.

She asked me if I wanted to take a walk around the block.  I said sure and off we went.  It only took about 15 minutes or so and it just felt great.  I mean, the exercise was just exercise, you know?  But actually spending a few minutes outside of the confines of our house just really hit the spot.

Normally I would be 100% in favor of not going outside for any reason, but now that The Man is telling us to stay in it just felt so good breathe fresh air.  We both felt invigorated and we agreed we’d do the same thing every lunch time until The Man sets us free.  Weather permitting, of course.

Can you see where this is going now?

When we woke up this morning it was pouring rain.  When we started working it was pouring rain.  When I looked outside after my morning meeting it was pouring rain.

Damn it.

When 1:00 came I didn’t even bother looking outside, I just went to the kitchen and made myself a sandwich.

Then… a minor miracle.

Jen had a meeting end around 1:00.  As I was sitting down to eat my sandwich she asked if I wanted to go for a walk.  But… but.. I thought.  Then I looked outside and wonder of wonders the rain had stopped!  It was still cold as ass, but at least it wasn’t raining!  We went outside and went for a walk.  Oh happiness!

So instead of writing a post about feeling stir crazy again, I get to write a post about not feeling stir crazy again.

Sweet.

Now go and wash your damn hands.

The Stir Crazy Files – Episode 1

Our toaster is a fickle minx.

Prior to the concept of social distancing taking over the known universe, my sweet, angelic, brilliant, beautiful, beloved wife Jennifer started having a hankering for English Muffins.  I get it.  Every once in a while I go through a phase where I can’t get enough of those muffins.

I like them on the well-done side.  Jen and the kids like them on the just-barely toasted side.  What ever your preference, our toaster can do it… it just doesn’t want to.  There is a sweet spot setting but it’s so hard to find it.  When I make toast it’s either just a little too done, or just a little too underdone.  No matter what I try it’s always just barely not-quite perfect.  That’s not to imply the English muffins don’t come out delicious, put some peanut butter on one of those little suckers and it’s bordering on bliss, it’s just that they could stand to be a tiny bit perfecterer.  Dig?

Yup… it’s only day four of the working from home/social distancing experiment and I am feeling rather stir crazy.  Hold on, kids.  It’s gonna be a bumpy ride!

Embrace the Bad Situation Part II

After doing all of the chores imaginable before work this morning, we found another way to embrace the shitty situation.

My wife and I took our lunch breaks together and went for a walk around the block.  It took about 15 minutes at a moderately brisk pace.  Weather permitting we are hoping to make this a regular thing.  If this mess continues long enough maybe we’ll be able to make more than one trip around the neighborhood.

Optimism AF, people.