We are in seriously dangerous territory. Montreal is in the finals. 28 NHL teams have failed in the world’s quest to keep Montreal from winning another Cup. There is only one team left who can stop this madness and it just happens to be the defending Stanley Cup Champs.
Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Before we talk about defeating the evil, let’s look at how my predictions have done thus far. Also, I flipped a coin for all but the first two round’s Northeast Division series so let’s see how the coin is doing (hint, the coin is doing better than I am).
After the first round my winning percentage was exactly .500. Six correct pics and six incorrect picks. 6-6. Pretty much the text book definition of mediocrity. The coin, with three fewer picks made, has a winning record at 5-4.
How did we do in the third round?
Lightning vs Islanders. It came down to a game seven but Tampa Bay was able to make both me and the coin look smart. We both picked Tampa so we were both right. I’m up to 7-6 and the coin is 6-4.
Golden Knights vs Canadiens. The horror. The horror. The horror. I picked Vegas because I hate the Canadiens with a passion that cannot be put into words. The coin sided with evil and picked Montreal. The coin was right (7-4) and I was heartbreakingly wrong (7-7).
And finally (pun definitely intended)……..
Tampa Bay Lightning vs Montreal Canadiens: So now we’ve arrived at the finals. There is so much more at stake than just the Cup, or my picks, or experiments in random selection, or anything like that. No, the fate of the universe is at stake. This isn’t hockey anymore, this is good vs evil with the defending champions the Tampa Bay Lightning on the side of good, and the vile, hated Montreal Canadiens on the side of evil. This is literally Luke “Lightning” Skywalker vs Darth “Les Habitants” Vader. Clearly I am picking Tampa Bay because I stand against evil whenever I can. The coin, who has picked Montreal twice now, picks (heads for the higher seed, which according to the NHL iOS app is Tampa Bay) Tampa Bay! The coin finally chooses to side against the evil ones! Thanks, coin!
Game one is Monday night. If Tampa Bay wins I will finish the playoffs with an 8-7 record and I’ll get to pat myself on the back for finishing with a winning record. If I lose I’ll finish 7-8 but it won’t matter because the universe will have collapsed into evil and madness so no one will notice my awful prediction skills. The coin will end up with a winning record either way, because it’s an asshole.