Stealth Mode

Let’s set the scene. I am in the living room noodling around on my computer. My mother is in the bedroom reading through a stack of mail. The bedroom is across the main hall from me at a bit of an angle. From where I sit, I can see into the room but only a little bit.

I’m putzing around on GarageBand and my mother gets up and walks down the hall to the kitchen. The kitchen is on the other side of the house at the other end of the hall. I cannot see it from where I am sitting. I pop my headphones off of one ear and try to listen to what’s going on, but I don’t hear anything.

I couple of minutes later I get a pop up on my computer asking if I want to connect to my iPhones hotspot. Huh? Why do I need to connect to a hotspot if I’m already connected to the wifi? It could be because I am no longer connected to the wifi. I checked my phone and it’s not connected either. The wifi mnemonic isn’t showing up as an option on either device. Well shit, thinks me. I wasn’t involved in setting this up and I don’t know where anything is. I assume it’s downstairs, but no one goes downstairs. Well, we do go downstairs to do laundry, and if my niece or nephews are here during a school day they go down there for their remote classwork. There shouldn’t be anyone downstairs today though.

I get up, walk into the hallway, and find the cellar door is open. Well shit, thinks me. My mother must have gone downstairs. She knows her doctor has told her to stay off the stairs, but every now and then she tells her doctor to stuff it (figuratively speaking) and goes downstairs anyway. I followed her.

In the stack of mail she found one from Readers Digest that suggested she renew her subscription before it runs out three months from now*. The letter includes a URL for renewals. She was trying to get onto a computer, but the desk she was standing in front of doesn’t have a computer. It used to, and there is still a monitor and a power strip, but there isn’t a computer. She wasn’t sure what to do so she started pushing buttons. One of them shut off the router. She switched it back on and after a few minutes the wifi was back. Sigh of relief. I took out my phone, verified it was connected to the wifi, then tested access by going to Google and searching for “what the fuck”. It worked.

Problem solved. No harm done, other than my mother ignoring her doctor’s order. That left me with the question, how the hell did she get downstairs without me hearing it? The stairs are creaky and the door is squeaky. When I go down stairs I make all kinds of noise. She didn’t make the faintest sound. I sent a text to my brother and sister to let them know what happened. I asked if she had some sort of stealth mode that I haven’t seen yet. They both responded, yup.

Good to know. Good to know.

*My sister added the punchline to the Readers Digest situation. Turns out my mother has already mailed them a check to renew the subscription.

Published by


I'm wicked tall.