This is the time of year when I have some goofy fun making NHL playoff predictions. This year? I could give a crap. I am still so pissed off about the lock out that the entire league has been boring to me. I just don’t care that much about a league that doesn’t give a rats ass about its fans.
So this year I am just going through the motions. I’ll watch the playoffs. I’ll root for my Bruins, even though they spent the better part of the last two months playing as if they couldn’t give a rats ass about anything. I’ll try to be engaged, but I’m not holding my breath.
Every year when I make my first round picks I preface it by saying that these are not based on anything other than my gut, and my gut is often wrong. This year I mean that even more because in the abortion of a half-a-season we were stuck with, I barely noticed any of these teams at all.
So here goes. Starting in the East.
Penguins vs Islanders. Congrats, Long Island (soon to be Brooklyn). You got back to the playoffs. Now die quickly so the Pens can work on getting healthy. Go Pittsburgh.
Canadiens vs Senators. Obviously the Canadiens are going to kick the holy hell out of the Senators, but I am rooting for Ottawa here. They are a shell of themselves, what with the 11,036 injuries (that’s a Tempest Fero reference, for those in the know) and all. Because of this, they are the cinderellas of the East. They should have fallen apart ages ago, yes the term “ages” is sarcastic in this 48 game bullshit of a season. Still, I am going to pick them to hang on long enough to beat the team that I hate the most. Go Ottawa.
Capitols vs Rangers. Who gives a shit. I completely hate them both. Go Refs. Urgh, but if I had to pick one… I guess the Rangers, but I hate them too much to say Go New York.
Bruins vs Maple Leafs. Obviously, I’m picking the Bruins. Unfortunately I am pretty sure they are going to lose, and their death will be not with a bang but a whimper (that’s a TS Elliot reference, for those in the know). The team that prides itself on defense can’t hold a third period lead. How many games do they have to throw away before people stop seeing them as contenders and start seeing them for the mediocre crap team that got off to a really fast start that they are? I’ll give them the Go Boston, but don’t come crying to me when the Leafs knock them out in the first round.
Blackhawks vs Wild. Congratulations, Wild. You get to be destroyed by the Blackhawks. Enjoy your four games. Go Chicago.
Red Wings vs Ducks. It sure is going to be fun watching the storied Detroit franchise get blown away by a Disney Movie. Go Anaheim.
Canucks vs Sharks. I am going against my better judgement and picking the team that always always always lets me down, and as a result I always always always swear I will never pick them again. Yet I some how always do. Go San Jose. I think I just guaranteed you’ll lose, but I am picking you anyway.
Blues vs Kings. The Kings didn’t let me down last year. I’m sure they will this year, but hopefully not in the first round. Go L.A..
There you have it. My stupid, pointless picks for a stupid, pointless lock out season.
Go Bruins.
Inside the Red Head's Head 