Tag: weight watchers

Temptation

The temptation is always there. The temptation to dive face first into a pile of junk food and begin the surprisingly short process of gaining back all of the weight I’ve lost is always right there.

All of my company’s buildings have kitchenettes on every floor. There’s refrigerators, coffee makers, water coolers, sinks, various supplies, soda machines, and candy machines.

Since my lifestyle changing diet began a little more than three months ago I have, for the most part, only been using the fridge. I have brought my lunch to work with me every day since starting the diet. When I come in each day I put my lunch in the fridge, and that’s it. There are also occasions when I need caffeine. Eliminating caffeine was one of my initial goals for losing weight. That and eliminating coca~cola. I have been 100% successful on the coke front, and maybe 90% successful on the caffeine front. Some days I just need a boost. When that happens I’ll head to the kitchen and get a diet coke, or a coke zero. On average I would say it happens once out of 10 work days. Much more than I’d like, but not the end of the world.

Other than that, I only use the fridge. Around 1:00pm I go to the kitchen, grab my lunch, maybe a paper towel or two if the stack on my desk is getting low, and that’s it. No fuss, no cheating.

Today though…

I let my eyes wander to the candy machine. They immediately settled on the holy trinity of delicious candy bars: Snickers, Milky Way, and 3 Musketeers. They were all there, like a Roman triumvirate ruling over a senate made up of all of the rest of the junk food in the machine.

The temptation to cheat was overwhelming. It was like a physical weight pressing down on me. I would guess it weighed the same as the 33 pounds I’ve lost so far.

I did not give in. I did not cheat. I had my bag lunch and that was it. No junk food additions to the lunch menu. It made me think about things though…

They say you need to do something for three weeks for it to become a habit. Well I’ve been at this for three months. Making my lunch in the morning before I leave for work is a habit. Not stopping at a convenience store to get junk food on the way to and from work is a habit. These are good things that I often focus on when I need to prove to myself that this diet thing is for the best.

Having said that, I was hoping part of the habit forming process would be the elimination of the desire to eat the junk food crap that put me in this position. That is not the case. Maybe I haven’t been at this long enough, but the temptation isn’t lessening. It’s getting stronger. Grocery shopping during the first few weeks of my diet was brutally difficult. My wife and I did it together for the most part, and that helped to keep me from cleaning out the Doritos section of the chips aisle. Now though, the pull to fill up a whole shopping cart with just chips is almost unbearable. Just like today when the pull to blow all of my money on Snickers bars from the candy machine in the kitchenette was all but unstoppable.

I don’t want to cheat. I don’t want to give in to temptation. I am proud of myself for sticking with this as long as I have, and I don’t want to ruin what progress I’ve made. But the urge to cheat, the urge to give in to temptation, is stronger than I would have ever dreamed.

Weight Watchers Pre-Game

I wasn’t great this week, but I was okay. I should be down from last week. Unfortunately I didn’t weigh in last week, or the week before.

So I’m probably up from the last weigh in.

The holiday season… Tough stuff, I tell ya.

I’ll let you know how it goes. Fingers crossed.

Good, Bad, Both?

In theory I stuck to the simply filling weight watchers plan today.

In theory.

The reality isn’t so clear. Simply filling approves of snacking on peanuts. Today while I was working I emptied a jar of peanuts into a bowl and sort of forgot about it. Next thing I know I’m reaching into the bowl and it’s empty. What What What???

Once my brain realized that I’d eaten the entire bowl my stomach decided it was clear to start hurting. Not a lot, but enough to make me uncomfortable.

After a couple of hours worth of being a chauffeur for the kids, my stomach had returned to normal and all was relatively well. Then I ate dinner. The discomfort is back with a vengeance.

I’m seriously trying to be good. Really, I am. I think though that I should tweak my goal a little for the short term. I should just focus on maintaining until the holidays are over. Don’t let yourself cheat, Robert. Don’t worry about losing, just try to stay level for the next five weeks or so.

I absolutely have to go to a meeting on Saturday.

On Again Off Again On Again

So… remember a couple of days ago when I said that I fell off the wagon on Friday but was back on the wagon on Saturday?

Well I fell off the wagon on Sunday.

I was home with my step son. We were watching Star Wars movies. There was this big tub of pretzels. I tried to fight them off but I couldn’t, and next thing I know half the tub was in my stomach. I didn’t want to eat them all, I just did. Then later I had a buffalo chicken dinner with 40 tons of french fries from a pizza/sub shop in town. I didn’t want to eat it all, I just did.

It’s over though. It’s Monday now and I am back on the wagon again. I’ve been good today. I will do my best to be good tomorrow. I will not try to continue to be good. As Yoda said, Do or do not, there is no try. I choose to do!

Thank you for the moral support, Yoda! I for one did not think it was ridiculous when you put down your cane and started kicking ass with your miniature light saber. I thought, well they don’t call him Master for nuttin’!

Speaking of ridiculous, go to Google news and search for articles about the new Star Wars Episode VII trailer. The articles themselves aren’t necessarily ridiculous, but the comment sections… Oh. My. God. Wow. Just… Wow.

I’m sorry. I’m feeling a little cynical. I get this way when I really, really need to see a Bruins game and they are playing on the west coast. I mean, really. 10:00pm start times just blow chunks all over the ice.

Weight Watchers Weigh In Delayed

Last week I missed my weigh in because I was at my step son’s robotics competition. Today I am missing it because of turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, cookies, and pretzels.

I fell of the wagon hard yesterday, but I am completely back on board today. My mission is to weigh in next Saturday and be at least level with my last weigh in.

I need to lose the equivalent of a normal sized adult human being in order to reach a healthy weight for some one my height. Progress will be made toward that goal today, my friends! Onward to the healthy goal!

Robots

I spent the day watching my step son’s school robotics club compete against 12 other teams. They came in 6th. It was really cool. They gave a presentation on an invention idea that they came up with and researched. He fielded some of the questions. It was awesomeness.

One of the coaches of the other teams stopped me in the hallway and said my name. It took a little bit more than half a second for me to recognize him. Tom! One of my high school friends. I haven’t seen him in maybe a decade or more. It was really fantastic to see him.

Jen has had a cold for most of the last week. She missed a couple of days of work. She was a little better yesterday, but woke up worse today so she didn’t go to the robot competition. She’s better now and we’re thinking about going out to dinner. Where should we go? The idea of driving to Cambridge came up, but there was another stop that necessitated it… now that is no longer a necessity. Not sure what to do.

I missed my weight watchers weigh in today due to the robotic goodness. I have been really good for most of the week. Too good. I’ve been skipping dinners at night, or just having something really small. That is not being good, but it could lead to a loss of weight (which will be gained back next week when I start having dinners again… or tonight when if we go out to dinner). Another bad thing was the cookies. I brought cookies to a group lunch at work yesterday and my co-workers let me down by not devouring them all. I took about half of them home. Last night I was unable to resist and had a bunch. There are still a bunch left. I don’t think I will be able to resist those either. I should just mow them down tonight and get it over with. In just about every way my weight loss will power is holding strong. Homemade chocolate chip cookies (that I made myself) are too much for my will power to resist.

I’m So Tired

I got a decent night’s sleep last night, but I am still really tired.  Not as tired as I was yesterday, or the day before, or the day before that.  I’m not doing a very good job sticking to the no caffeine policy.  In four of the last five days in the office I’ve been getting a Coke Zero after lunch because I can feel myself running out of gas.  It’s annoying to me.  I don’t want caffeine anymore.  I don’t want soda anymore.  I want to keep losing weight, and even with diet sodas I don’t feel that I am helping myself by having soda.

Oh the struggle.

In the past when I’ve lost weight I’ve felt pretty good.  What’s the deal this time?  I have lost more weight in the last two months than at any time I can remember.  Why then do I not have more energy than I did before getting on the wagon?  Why am I tired all the time.  I should have 32 pounds worth of additional feel good pep coursing through my veins.  I feel gypped.  Really.

Not that I am going to fall off the wagon any time soon.  I’m in this for the long haul.  32 pounds down, something like 160 still to go!  (not really.  I don’t have a goal in mind.  I just like the sound of what the weight value would be if I lost 190 pounds during this weight watchers stint.  A fat boy can dream, right?)