When I was young and foolish and in my 20s I would occasionally pull an all nighter. I never really had a good reason to do it. I wasn’t a party guy who would stay out until the sun came up. No, I was a guy who had a part time night job who would sometimes come home and just not go to bed.

I can probably count the number of one nighters I have experienced on one hand. Maybe two hands. No, probably one hand. I’m trying to think of what my record is. I’m pretty sure I topped 30 hours once. Did I top 36? There’s a little part of my memory that is whispering 39 to me but that’s probably not accurate. I clearly remember getting to 29 once and being pissed I didn’t reach 30. When I remember 39 I’m probably just misremembering the 29. I wanna say I did 32 once but I’m not sure. 29 is definite, so let’s say that’s my record.

I did not pull an all nighter last night. I got up out of bed a little before 7:00am yesterday and I did go to sleep around 3:30am today. It’s just that as a 50 year old old fart, getting one hour of sleep is about as close to an all nighter as I will ever get again. I am hoping to take a nap at some point this afternoon, but I won’t know if I can definitely get one until I actually get one, you know?

I have been awake for 26 of the last 27 hours and I am in that weird second wind stage. You know, when you’re too tired to think straight but you somehow still feel energized? I just stepped away from work long enough to clean the cat’s litter box. She was giving me that, “clean the litter box now or else I kill you in your sleep” look so I figured I had better make the time. It’s no problem when you’re in the weird second wind state.

Check out the old guy, acting like he’s all young and shit. What a doofus.