Today I went to two stores to buy new clothes. That in itself is kind of amazing. For years I’ve only been able to buy clothes from Casual Male XL, or whatever the hell they are called now. I call them Tall and Fat in honor of Rodney Dangerfield in the movie Back to School. That was the name of the store his character owned. Anyway, I bought clothes at a Kohl’s today and I can’t remember the last time I was able to find clothes that fit me at a normal department store. It’s kind of amazing.
I bought two pairs of jeans and a pair of khakis. The waist size is four inches smaller than the jeans I bought last month. They are also 12 inches smaller than pre-surgery. I never, ever would have dreamed that could happen. I’m very happy and very shocked. You’d think after shrinking for six months I’d no longer be surprised to see evidence that I am shrinking, but I am.
The waist size was one thing, but the shirts? I bought two collared shirts and three t-shirts. They are two sizes smaller than when I started. I was wearing 4XLT and today I bought 2XLT. What the freakin’ hell? Again, I never even dreamed I would buy a 2X again. Never in a million years.
Now I have to pack up all of the too-big-for-me clothing that I have in my bureau and donate them somewhere. Probably Goodwill again. I have a bunch of old 3X shirts that are still useable. I have a bunch of 4X shirts that are no longer useable. There are a couple of pairs of jeans that are too big but not terribly too big. I kept one pair of jeans from before the surgery because someday it’s going to be really friggin’ funny to put them on to see how much I’ve lost. That day has not arrived yet, but someday.
My exercise is done for the morning. I only faux ran for 30 minutes. Just giving my old and tired legs a break. I have so much to do today. It’s raining again so raking leaves is pretty much out of the equation until tomorrow. My primary goal for the morning is to reboot my wardrobe. I’m thinking two pairs of jeans, two collared shirts, two t-shirts, and a pair of khakis. That should get me through the wake and the funeral this weekend, and four work days in the office between now and the end of the year.
I need to take a shower before I do any of this but I made the mistake last night of trying to rewatch the last four episode arc of Andor (one way out!) and I still have about 15 minutes left to go so I really can’t stop watching at the best part, right?
I want to make short visits to both parents today too. That’s the second most important thing. After that, it’s spend time with the love of my life, who is attending a virtual conference today. Dinner and a movie tonight, maybe? That will help me avoid feeling sad about the rest of the universe. For a while at least.
And that’s the state of the world right now.
For the first time in a few days, I don’t feel like my jeans are about to fall off.
I picked up a new belt at Casual Male XL* today. It’s two sizes smaller than my old belt and the difference is epic. I had the old belt as tight as it would go and it was like I wasn’t wearing it at all. Add that to my jeans being at least one size too big and you have a recipe for an America’s Funniest Home Video winner.
The new belt has some room to grow. At this rate I will probably have to replace it in 3-4 weeks, but I’m okay with that. We knew going into the Gastric Bypass that clothing was going to be a pretty crazy expense after the fact. So far I’ve only bought two pairs of jeans (both of which are already too big), the belt, and some undies (which have not been delivered yet). There was also a few pairs of sweatpants that we got on the day of the surgery. Those are way too big at this point. Otherwise I have been making use of old clothes that were too small for me back in May, but are okay now.
I have already bagged up one pile of clothes (mostly shirts) for donation somewhere. I think I have enough to fill up a second bag. Once I do that, I just have to decide where to donate everything. Goodwill, probably. I’m not a fan of the Salvation Army in general. I’ve heard some nasty shit about Goodwill too, but it’s still the preferable option.
I hope we can last another couple of weeks before I have to go back for more clothes. It’ll be jeans again, and probably some collared shirts for work. Stay tuned, friends and neighbors.
*The name of the store is Casual Male XL, right? I always call it Tall and Fat. Remember Rodney Dangerfield in the movie Back to School? His character was a millionaire who made his fortune owning a chain of stores for oversized men that was called Tall and Fat.
At least I think it was. I haven’t seen that movie in 100 years. It had Robert Downey, Jr in it, didn’t it? He looked about 12 years old, if I remember correctly.