The NHL has apologized to newspapers across the continent.  Or something like that.

Leave it to the league that followed record profits, disgustingly high profits, with an insulting, idiotic, moronic, douche bag of a lockout to tell its fans how sorry they are for taking their favorite league away from them via a dead medium.

Newspapers.  You know, those things from ancient history that in the modern day are dying left and right because no on buys them anymore and therefore they cannot sell any advertisements and therefore go out of business?

The NHL took out full page adds in at least one paper in every NHL city, assuming the NHL city still has a newspaper because, as stated above, newspapers are going out of business left and right.  Those papers that actually exist were probably overcome with bliss at the idea of actually selling an advertisement that takes up a full page.  That means the papers published today will be at least one page long!  The wonder of it all, eh?

Here is the add itself.  Be amazed at the sincerity of the apology made by the billionaires who took our game away from us.  It just brings a tear to the eye, doesn’t it?  Of course no one is going to see the actual apology because no one in North America actually reads newspapers anymore.  They may as well have broadcast this text via telegraph.

So there you have it.  Shared on the internet (I got the image from this article, published in a medium that people in North America actually use, on a web page) because it’s the 21st century and all.

I guess now that the NHL has apologized to the people who pay their bills all must be forgiven, right?  We’re all happy friends again, right?

Wrong.