I’m going to a concert next week. Triumph. I saw them in 1986. It was my first concert. My Uncle Johnny took me. I was 15. Now here we are 40 years later and out of nowhere the band announced a 50th anniversary tour and I got me a ticket. Uncle Johnny is no longer with us, but he’ll be going to the show with me in spirit, I am sure.

That’s not the story with this post though. Not directly at least. No, the point is that ticketmaster is an asshole and I want them to fuck right off.

Over the last week they have been sending me emails reminding me that I have a ticket to a conert. As if I would have forgotten, you know? Not bloody likely. Today though, they put a new spin on the spam. Today’s email reminded me that if I wanted to sell my ticket I can do so through their reseller option. 

Ah… no thank you, fuckwads. I do not want to sell the ticket to the show that I have been waiting 40 years for. Fuck you right the fuck off. To borrow a line or two from The Book of Mormon, fuck ticketmaster right in the eye and then fuck ticketmaster right in the other eye.