This just happened to me.

I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth. Our sink has a pretty slow drain, and I had just run the water. There was about a half inch deep puddle, slowly draining away. As I brusha-brusha-brusha-brushed my teeth I ended up with a mouthful of toothpaste. I leaned over to spit it out. As I have probably mentioned, I am freakishly tall. Therefore I leaned way over so that my spit would all end up in the sink instead of shotgun pellet blasted all over the place.

My toothpastey spit hit the water and splashed back upward.

Directly into my eye.

I don’t believe it, kids.

I literally just spit in my own eye.

It’s going to be a long, long day.