The Great James Bond Movie Rewatch of 2022 Update Again, Yet Again

Okay, where did I leave off last time I did an update post? Right, I had just watched The Man with the Golden Gun. I have watched four more movies since then. All with Roger Moore.

The Spy Who Loved Me is okay. It’s not great, it’s not bad. Jaws is kinda dumb, but at least they play him as a serious villain. He’s cartoony, but not too cartoony. That will change in the next movie. I remembered Barbara “Mrs Ringo Starr” Bach being terrible, and she sure wasn’t great, but she was better than I remembered. The bad guy wasn’t very interesting and the plot to take over the world and move it underwater was pretty lame. All in all, not a terrible Bond movie, but probably a pretty terrible movie movie, you know what I mean?

Moonraker is just stupid. So very stupid. It was 1979. Two years after Star Wars redefined the movie experience. Hey, let’s send Bond to space! I have to imagine there was a massive amount of cocaine being used during the development process. There’s really no other way to explain this movie. The special effects are laughably bad at times and it’s not hard to tell that most if not all of the cast knew what was going on. The worst part, for me, is Jaws. It’s beyond stupid. He falls out of a plane and flaps his arms. What the hell? Just a terrible movie.

For Your Eyes Only surprised me. Is this the best of the Roger Moore movies? I think it might be. It’s almost like they tried to reset things after the mess that was Space Bond and just made a straight forward good movie. The figure skater is kind of annoying and really doesn’t add anything to the story, other than demonstrating that James Bond probably isn’t a pedophile. Roger Moore is pretty good. The principal Bond Girl is pretty good. The bad guy is pretty good. The twist with the guy you thought was a bad guy thing was pretty good. It’s no Sean Connery movie, but it’s a pretty good Bond movie. …and it’s got Tywin Lannister! He didn’t have any lines, but there was that moment when you thought he was going to say something but… nope.

Octopussy was my first Bond movie. When we first got cable it was on HBO or one of the other movie channels constantly. I probably saw it a thousand times. It was out at the same time as the non-official Connery movie, Never Say Never Again (which was just a remake of Thunderball) and they both hit the cable networks at the same time and they both ran constantly and together they turned me into a James Bond fan. Well, that and my father telling us how the James Bond story was based on his life before he met my mother. It’s a long story. Anyway, the movie is pretty crummy. Roger Moore telling the wild tiger to SIT! is pretty much the only redeeming quality. Roger Moore was way too old at this point. I really didn’t remember that, but watching it last night it hit me like a brick to the face. Bam, he looks old. Connery in Diamonds are Forever was also too old, but it seems more of a problem here. I’m curious how it’s going to play out in the next movie, given that Moore is still there. We’ll see.

So that’s the update. Now here’s the list as it stands now… and I think I am going to throw the Rotten Tomatoes score onto the list as well, just for fun. 13 movies down and 12 to go. I’m half way there!

  • Sean Connery
    • Dr. No (1962) 95% – Finished
    • From Russia with Love (1963) 97% – Finished
    • Goldfinger (1964) 99% – Finished
    • Thunderball (1965) 85% – Finished
    • You Only Live Twice (1967) 74% – Finished
  • George Lazenby
    • On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (1969) 81% – Finished
  • Sean Connery (Again)
    • Diamonds Are Forever (1971) 63% – Finished
  • Roger Moore
    • Live and Let Die (1973) 65% – Finished
    • The Man with the Golden Gun (1974) 40% – Finished
    • The Spy Who Loved Me (1977) 81% – Finished
    • Moonraker (1979) 59% – Finished
    • For Your Eyes Only (1981) 69% – Finished
    • Octopussy (1983) 42% – Finished
    • A View To A Kill (1985) 37%
  • Timothy Dalton
    • The Living Daylights (1987) 73%
    • License to Kill (1989) 79%
  • Pierce Brosnan
    • GoldenEye (1995) 80%
    • Tomorrow Never Dies (1997) 56%
    • The World Is Not Enough (1999) 51%
    • Die Another Day (2002) 56%
  • Daniel Craig
    • Casino Royale (2006) 94%
    • Quantum of Solace (2008) 64%
    • Skyfall (2012) 92%
    • Spectre (2015) 63%
    • No Time to Die (2021) 83%

The Great James Bond Movie Rewatch of 2022 Update Again

I remember why I usually avoid You Only Live Twice, and I am not talking about the pretty racist and stereotypical depiction of everyone and everything in Japan. It’s Connery. He’s clearly bored. He clearly doesn’t want to be Bond anymore. I read an article about it last night that says his performance is so disinterested that it borders on unprofessional.

It’s still a pretty great Bond movie though. It just goes to show you that Connery is so freakin’ good that even when he mails it in and does a terrible job, he’s still great (see: Highlander).

So, five movies down. I started On Her Majesty’s Secret Service this morning during my faux walking. George Lazenby. Okay. In House of the Dragon there is a character who is often referred to as The Queen Who Never Was. That’s what I think of this movie. It’s the bad ass, monster classic Bond movie that could have been. If Connery or Daniel Craig played Bond in this movie we’d be talking about it as the best of them all. Hell, if Moore, Dalton, or Brosnan had played him we’d probably be saying the same. I am not trying to say that Lazenby is a bad actor. He’s fine. He’s just not really an actor and he doesn’t have the chops that Connery or Craig or any of the others have. He’s perfectly acceptable, he’s just not a commanding presence like the other guys.

Everything about that movie is great. Telly Savalas as Blofeld is perfect casting. Diana Rigg does what she always does and steals literally every scene she’s in. Imagine the sparks if she had been playing off of Sean Connery. Just imagine! There is no way on Earth he would have seemed bored when they were on screen together. Hell, if you want to see just how amazing Diana Rigg can be, watch Game of Thrones. I mean her last scene is so fucking incredible that it will burn itself on your soul forever. “Tell Cersei.” Enough said.

Here is the list as it stands now:

  • Sean Connery
    • Dr. No (1962) – Finished
    • From Russia with Love (1963) – Finished
    • Goldfinger (1964) – Finished
    • Thunderball (1965) – Finished
    • You Only Live Twice (1967) – Finished
  • George Lazenby
    • On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (1969) – In Progress
  • Sean Connery (Again)
    • Diamonds Are Forever (1971)
  • Roger Moore
    • Live and Let Die (1973)
    • The Man with the Golden Gun (1974)
    • The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)
    • Moonraker (1979)
    • For Your Eyes Only (1981)
    • Octopussy (1983)
    • A View To A Kill (1985)
  • Timothy Dalton
    • The Living Daylights (1987)
    • License to Kill (1989)
  • Pierce Brosnan
    • GoldenEye (1995)
    • Tomorrow Never Dies (1997)
    • The World Is Not Enough (1999)
    • Die Another Day (2002)
  • Daniel Craig
    • Casino Royale (2006)
    • Quantum of Solace (2008)
    • Skyfall (2012)
    • Spectre (2015)
    • No Time to Die (2021)

Sean Connery