On Saturday my wife and I went to our first Weight Watchers meeting.  I weighed in at approximately REDACTED* pounds.  This morning (all of four days later) I stepped on the bathroom scale.  I should mention that I am always telling people not to step on the scale.  Once a week.  Once every two weeks.  Fine.  Every couple of days?  You’re going to drive yourself crazy and you won’t want to stay on the wagon.  Still, there I was this morning stepping on the bathroom scale.

Like I said, it was four days after my official Weight Watchers weigh in.  How much did the bathroom scale say I weighed?

REDACTED – 15. 

I lost 15 pounds in four days?  Yeah right!  Never trust that bathroom scale.  It’s a dirty rotten liar and it’s out to get you.  I bet you $20 that the next time I step on the scale it will say I gained 25 pounds.  The bathroom scale wants to make you miserable.  It wants to break your heart.

Don’t let it!

* I did not redact my current weight out of any sort of shyness over the value.  I am really fat and morbidly obese and I don’t think I’ve ever denied that on this page.  However, the number was so incredibly large that the text editor I used to write this post actually crashed because the variable holding the text string overflowed.