Tag: Parenting

Happy Father’s Day

Today is Father’s Day here in the United States. Is it Father’s Day anywhere else? I don’t know.

Are you a father? A dad? Are you, like me, a step father or someone who fills the roll of a father? Are you a single mother who takes on a father’s responsibilities? Well then, today is your day.

May your kids shower you with love and affection today. We are going to have lunch with my father, which should be lovely. My step kids are having lunch with their father, as it absolutely should be, and then they are coming to our house for dinner. I am touched.

I always feel conflicted on Father’s Day. I don’t want to be the kind of person who tries to take attention away from my step kids’ actual father, but at the same time they always make a point to make me feel loved on Father’s Day and I absolutely love that they do that for me. I am overwhelmed by how much I love my step kids. I call them my kids because to my eyes I couldn’t love them more if they were my biological children. I think if I loved them more I would literally explode. So while I do feel conflicted today, my step kids ignore that and treat me like the real deal and I cannot thank them enough.

I say it all the time, I am stunned that they keep me around at all never mind treat me like an actual parent that they care about. They are amazing. It’s that simple. I can’t put it any other way. My step kids, Bellana and Harry, are utterly, unequivocally, objectively, amazing people.

May your Father’s Day be a happy one. Fathers, love your kids. Kids, love your fathers. If it is not Father’s Day in your neighborhood you have my permission to act like it is and have yourself a merry little unofficial Father’s Day.

My Parents at My Age

Daily writing prompt
What were your parents doing at your age?
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I’m 52 years old. I’ll be 53 in May and suddenly that seems immensely older than 52. Weird, this aging thing, isn’t it?

When my mother was 52 my father was 50 and I was about 22. That was 1992. At that time I think my sister was still teaching 1st grade in Long Beach, CA and my brother was still in high school. I had dropped out of college (music school) and was either working at UPS loading tractor trailor trucks, or I was starting to attend Northeast Broadcasting School in their eight month audio recording certificate program. 

I’m not sure of the timeline for my parents. My father was running an accounting department. I think he was still at the scrap metal company in Tewksbury. That wasn’t the happiest time in his professional life, but it was better than the last days with the restaurant company. My mother… I think my mother was working as a bookkeeper at the electronics place in Chelmsford. My father would eventually work there as well. He ran the accounting department and my mother worked for him. My brother interned there as well, and when I went back to school for real a few years later I worked there as an overnight cleaning guy. Things seemed good for my parents in those days.

Apart from that, I have to expect that my parents spent a lot of time worrying about what a fuck up I was turning into after first deciding to go to music school, then dropping out, then going to a useless tech school to study a useless field, and then turning into a warehouse flunky for a few years. It was 1997 when I went back to school for real. I hope that eased their worries.

1992 was a long way away from my mother’s brain tumor and the dementia it lead to, and my father’s heart attack and all the trouble that lead to. 1992 was a pretty happy year for me, personally, even if I was turning into a professional fuck up. I wouldn’t change a thing as it all lead me to where I am today. If I had to change anything though, that brain tumor and the heart attack would be high on the list. Hell… they would pretty much be the list.

Hey AI Thing, generate an image of a Jedi Knight visiting his parents.

Driver

My wife just took my 15 year old step daughter out for a drive. In New Hampshire (where the kids go to school and live on dad days) you don’t need a learner’s permit like you do in Massachusetts (where the kids live on mom days), all you need is to be 15.5 years old and have a licensed driver in the passenger seat.

Last weekend (a dad weekend) my 15.5 year old step daughter drove around a parking lot for the first time. Today, my wife is taking her over the state line for some more driving time. She seemed a little nervous so I reminded her that the dumbest person in America can drive a car. She felt better after that.

I’ve no doubt that she’s crushing it. Not literally, of course, but figuratively.