Tag: nhl predictions

NHL Playoff Predictions: Stanley Cup Final

I can’t remember a time when I was this blah for the last two rounds of the NHL playoffs. Blah, I say!

The Conference Finals are over. It is time to review how my predictions did in round three, and to make my pick for the Stanley Cup Final. Over the first two rounds I had correctly chosen the winner in six of 12 series. 6/12 is terrible, but it is WAY better than my coin flip control group which has been correct in three out of 12 series. That is just pathetic.

So how did we do with the two series in round three?

Rangers vs Panthers. You know, this is what happens when you live in Boston and put your faith in a friggin’ team from friggin’ New York. Of course the Rangers lost. Assholes. You guys suck. That sound you hear off in the distance is me screaming in hockey related frustration. I hate the Florida Panthers so much that I cannot accurately put it into words. I hate them so much that I was rooting for New York. Argh! I picked the Rangers and was wrong. That puts me at 6/13. The coin, the prick, picked the Panthers. It is now 4/13.

Stars vs Oilers. I feel a little better about this one. I am ambivalent about the Stars and I kinda find the Oilers enjoyable. That’s why I picked the Oilers. The coin flip picked Edmonton too. That puts me back at 50% at 7/14, and moves the coin to 5/14.

I guess that means that now it’s time to make my pick for the final.

Panthers vs Oilers. As I previously stated, I hate the Panthers with the burning passion of 1000000000 suns, and I kinda like the Oilers. I am making this pick with my heart and not my head and I’m picking the Oilers. Let’s bring that Stanley Cup back to Canada, shall we? For the coin flip, heads goes to the higher seed, which is Florida. The coin flip is tails. That means the coin and I both picked Edmonton.

You heard it here first, kids. The Oilers are going to win the cup this year. Pretty please, at least. We have a long wait for game one, as the series doesn’t start until Saturday. Five days from now. Hey NHL… WTF is up with that? What is this, the NBA? Damn it!

NHL Playoff Predictions: Round Three

This sucks, man. My team lost and New York’s team won? Talk about a crap fest.

My predictions in the first round were not very good. I picked four series correctly out of eight. The coin flips I used for a control group (or something) picked three out of eight.

How did I do in the second round? Not very good.

Panthers vs Bruins.  The coin and I both picked the Bruins. This sucks. I am now 4/9 and the coin is 3/9. Screw you, Panthers.

Rangers vs Whalers. I picked the Rangers, even though it hurts my soul to pick any team from New York, and the coin picked the Whale. The Rangers won. I am now 5/10 and the coin is 3/10.

On to the West…

Stars vs Avalanche. The coin and I both picked the Avalanche and they lost. The Stars moved on and the Avs made me look bad. I am now 5/11 and the coin is a dismal 3/11.

Canucks vs Oilers. The Bruins are out. The Avalanche is out. There’s only one team left that I would actually want to root for. It’s the Oilers. I picked them to win and the coin picked Vancouver. Who won? The Oilers won. Oh thank goodness. I am back up to 50% at 6/12 and the coin is completely shut out in this round and is now at 3/12.

Now let’s move on to the Conference Final round. Round three.

Rangers vs Panthers. Oh good, the team that beat my team for the second year in a row against a team that I absolutely hate. Yippee. I want them both to lose. I am going to pick the Rangers but not because I plan to root for them. In this series I am rooting for the Zambonis. For the coin flip, heads goes to the higher seed and tails goes to the lower. It is tails. The coin picks the friggin’ Panthers.

Stars vs Oilers. At this point I think the Rangers are going to win the cup, but the Oilers are the only team left that I actually like so I am picking them. That’s me going with my heart instead of my head. The coin picks the Oilers too, which guarantees they will lose?

So I am predicting a Rangers vs Oilers matchup in the Stanley Cup Final. You heard it here first.

Blah.

NHL Stanley Cup Final Predictions

You know something? This NHL playoff season has sucked. Suck Suck Sucked. My predictions have sucked, but they always suck. This year the teams and the matchups suck. It’s like the universe has been letting teams advanced based mostly on how little I care about them.

How did my third round predictions work out? Badly. As usual.

Eastern Conference, Whalers vs Panthers: I fucking hate the Florida Panthers. I hate the Whaler-canes too, but I hate Florida even more. As if that nazi prick Desantis weren’t disgusting enough, now the Panthers advance to the Cup Final? Fuck them. I picked the Whale, of course, and I guaranteed they would lose. Pricks. That makes me six out of 13 for the post season, which drops me below 50%. Asshats. The coin flip picked the Whale too so it is now five out of 13. Suck.

Western Conference, Golden Knights vs Stars: I feel almost redeemed here. I picked Vegas. I thought they were going to sweep but they blew two games and made it look like a series before winning in six. They bring me back to 50% at seven out of 14. Thankfully. The coin flip picked Dallas and lost yet again. That’s five out of 14 for a pathetic 35.7%.

So that leaves the final, and I am guessing based on my statement in the Eastern Conference Final recap you can guess who I am going to pick.

Stanley Cup Final Round, Vegas Golden Knights vs the Fucking Florida Panthers: Can you guess who I am picking? Go on, guess. Vegas. Hockey Gods willing, they’ll win it in four, but I can’t be that lucky. The coin flip was heads, so it picks the higher seed, and that is Vegas. We’re both picking the Western Conference champs because Florida sucks. Fuck Florida. Fuck them right in their fucking ears.

If Vegas wins, I will have picked more than half of the matchups correctly. If Vegas loses I will have picked more than half of the matchups incorrectly. Given the results of the first three rounds, I can pretty much bank on Vegas losing because hockey as a living entity hates me almost as much as I hate Florida. Fucking Panther pricks.