Relief

I was waiting on an insurance claim for my leave of absence from work in May. I expected it to be a formality that would be wrapped up in no time at all. I was wrong. I was stressing out over the open case the whole time and when I say I was stressing out… it was really stressful, you know?

I’ve been waiting for about a week now for the final document to come in the mail. Every day I was running up stairs and checking the mail box and every day I was left disappointed.

Until today.

I am so relieved. I am so happy that it’s all over. What an ordeal. Here’s hoping I never have to do anything like that again. At least if I do, I’ll know what to expect ahead of time. I won’t be this naïve again.

Sigh
of
Relief

Back to Work

My month of post-surgery medical leave is officially over. I punched in to work for the first time at a little before 9:00am.

I am so far behind it’s insane, yet at the same time I already feel like I never left. There have been a bunch of staffing changes and some new policies and other fun things. I had 1,683 emails in my inbox when I started the day, and I think there have been 50 or so more come in today already.

I have had meetings all morning and that has made it tough to get my liquids in. I am in the middle of a slightly shortened lunch break right now and I am not sure if I will be able to finish my 2.5 ounce meal before the next meeting starts. In the past I would just eat quickly and then chug some water if I was feeling dehydrated. I can’t do that now though. My stomach won’t let me.

This will calm down over the next day or so, but for today I am stressing mightily. It will be okay though. I am happy to be back. I just want to feel a little less like an alien posing as me, you know what I mean? You probably don’t know what I mean, but that’s sort of how I feel.

Weird, man.

One Week and One Day

Okay. The weight loss surgery date is one week from tomorrow. It’s hitting me. Or at least it’s starting to, and it’s coming from directions I did not expect.

I’m putting together notes for co-workers so they can cover some of my regular responsibilities while I’m out for a whole month. The result is feelings of guilt. Big time feelings of guilt. Not the soul destroying guilt I was buried under a year ago when things were going really bad at my parents house, but a new, fresh, form of guilt.

Guilt over all of the things I won’t be able to do at home until after I recover. Guilt for the burden I am going to be on Jen and Harry and (eventually) Bellana. Even guilt over needing to finish the cellar before the surgery date and therefore putting the contractor into a position where he felt he needed to stay at our house working until 10:00 last night, and 9:30 one night last week.

I did not see this coming, but here it is.

Shit.