Tag: Life

Holidaze

Daily writing prompt
What is your favorite holiday? Why is it your favorite?
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Like most American kids my youth was spent living for Christmas. You know, presents and shite. As I got older my opinions changed. Xmas changed from a joyous celebration to a months long stress-fest followed by one happy, wonderful day. It dropped way down on the list of favorite holidays.

Thanksgiving ceremoniously took over the top spot on that list. Meeting Jen and having a couple of kids in my life brought new life to Xmas, a new perspective and all, but I still saw Thanksgiving as my fav. Quality family time, good food, a happy celebration. All of those things make it my favorite.

Weight loss surgery has changed the perspective again. I can’t really partake in the Thanksgiving feast the way I used to. A tiny bit of turkey, a tiny bit of stuffing, a bite of mashed potatoes and I am stuffed like you’ve heard about. It doesn’t actually change anything, I just feel oddly self conscious.

So does that change what I see as my favorite holiday? Not really. A little? Does that move Halloween into the top spot? If the kids were still trick or treating it might. I really enjoy being the guy who hands out the treats at our house, but I enjoyed bringing the kids out more. So Thanksgiving still tops Halloween. Memorial Day is a contender, but only by association. We got married near Memorial Day so to me the holiday is more representative of our anniversary. 15 years, this year. We’re going to celebrate with a little trip.

So I think the answer to the question of the day is the same one it has been since I was a teenager and Santa Claus stopped being a thing. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. It is the best of them all. At least for a middle aged red head living in the United States.

Doing the Right Thing Can Suck

I am scheduled for Jury Duty a week from Monday. May 6th, to be exact. I booked time off from work for the day like a good citizen of The Commonwealth of Massachusetts. Good boy.

Today I came as close to hitting the lottery as I’ll ever come. I got a letter from the state. You always get a letter from the state about a week before Jury Duty. It usually says that you need to call the courthouse you were assigned to the business day before you are schedule to appear and they will tell you if you have to show up or not. That’s not what I got this time. This time the letter just said that they don’t need me and I don’t have to go. Sweet! It’s like a get out of jail free card… or just a get out of jury duty free card. Let’s not mix the metaphorical side of the courtroom bar I would have been sitting on… or whatever. You know what I mean, right? Right.

So I have the day off of work on Monday and I don’t have to do anything to earn it! WOOHOO!

That’s when the guilt started hitting me. Stupid guilt. Two days after my scheduled civic duty is my birthday (53 years old, you geriatric fart) and I took a vacation day that day just because. It’s my special day, or some crap like that. So I… I let the guilt take over. I logged into work and canceled my Jury Duty time off request. Ugh. Why did I do that? Because it was the right thing to do? Ugh… you putz. Just take the free day off. No… I’ll work that day. I might even drive into the office.

Idiot.

Topics?

Daily writing prompt
What topics do you like to discuss?
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Translating today’s prompt from Jetpack to Robert-speak it is asking me to write about what I like to write about in my personal blog/journal/brain dropping target. I thought I had an About Me page around here somewhere that served that purpose for me. Whatever, I feel a bullet list coming on…

What topics do I like to discuss?

  • My wife, Jen
  • My step kids, Bellana and Harry
  • All things family
  • Music
    • Playing music
    • Writing music
    • All things related to playing in a band
    • Listening to music
    • Arguing about music (I am a grade A music snob and I am always right)
    • Recording music
    • All things related to musical instruments and gear
    • Leaving the house to go and listen to live music (which doesn’t happen often anymore because I am old and go to bed early)
  • Sports
    • Hockey, both NHL and minor leagues and sometimes even NCAA
    • Baseball, both major and minor leagues
  • Travel
  • Stressing about money and how we don’t have enough for what we want to do with our lives but still try to find a way if we can
  • Weight loss surgery recovery and all the gross stomach issues that go along with it that are 100% worth the struggle
  • Working as a programmer for a software company that develops systems for hospitals
  • Photography
    • Digital photography
    • Film photography
    • Cell phone photography
  • Bad haiku that are likely viscously insulting to the actual artists who write real haiku
  • Technology
  • Being a total Apple fanboy
  • Social media and how it is both an obsession and infuriatingly awful
  • Politics
    • How the maga cult is the new nazi party and how that fascist pile of orange goo is literally evil
  • Cats

Yeah, that seems like a good, short list of topics I like to talk about on this cute little bloggie page. Hopefully you, dear readers, are into reading weird, middle aged people from New England who like to write insipid crap about some of these topics, and hopefully I don’t make you wait too long before hitting something you are particularly interested in.

No Regrets

Daily writing prompt
Describe a risk you took that you do not regret.
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There are a few I could use for this prompt. Mostly things that I have talked about at length in other prompts. I am at work right now and have a ton of things going on, so I will be brief today. You won’t have to dig far back to find more details, I don’t think.

Was getting married a risk? Do people see marriage as a risk? What about proposing? I ask because my gut tells me that will be a common topic of discussion today, but for me it is not. Getting married was not something I saw as a risk, it was something I saw as destiny. I wanted it so bad that I never saw it as something to be nervous about. It was something I couldn’t not do, know what I mean? It’s been almost 15 years since we said, “I do” to each other and it’s still far and away the best thing I have done. I could never claim it was a risk. Nothing could be further from the truth.

So what do I write about then? It has to be my college experience. Or should I say experiences. I started college in the Fall of 1989 as a music student with a focus in sound recording. I dropped out after the Fall 1991 semester. That was a risk. I still view that as much one huge failure in my life. It turned out to be the right move, but it’s still a massive fail.

In October 1992 I went to a tech school in Boston that doesn’t exist anymore and did a one year program studying sound recording. I graduated with excellent grades but struggled to find work afterwards. Going to that school probably counts as a risk, but it’s a low risk. I didn’t have much of a shot at success. Not due to the school, but due to my personality. On some level I probably knew all along that I was just stalling to keep the real world at bay for a year. I ended up doing warehouse work and being pretty miserable.

In the Fall of 1997 I went back to school. That was the biggest risk. I had a job. I was doing poorly but sort of getting by. Going back to school full time at the age of 26 was a tough choice but I was hopeful that it would pay off. It took a while to graduate, including changing schools once, but I did and I got a job and I started a career that I like and then I met a girl on myspace and she was amazing and you know the rest based on what I wrote a few paragraphs back.

So stopping what passed for my life in my mid-20’s and starting over was a major risk for me, but it is one that I don’t regret at all. I am very happy with the way things turned out.

Growth

Daily writing prompt
Describe a decision you made in the past that helped you learn or grow.
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You want one? How about I give you two? Maybe even two and a half? I’m crazy like that. Also, the stuff that I give you today also happen to be things that I’ve written about in daily prompts very recently so… yeah. Repetition is good for growth and shit. I don’t know, whatever.

First, we travel back in time to the 20th century. The early 1990’s saw a certain tall red head dropping out of college. A dumb ass move, for sure, but at the time it was the only move that made sense to me. A job followed, then a year in a tech school, followed by a failure to get a job in that field, followed by a crap job in a warehouse. That’s when we get to the point of the decision that helped me learn and grow. I was making like $8.00/hour working in a retail chain’s warehouse as the guy in charge of customer returns and I just got fed up and decided to give college another try. This time I wouldn’t be a music major, this time I would take classes that might actually lead to a job someday. Going back to school was the big decision, but a secondary decision was to rig my classes so that I started from as close to the lowest level math subject that my new school would allow me to take. My primary hang up the first time through college was my shitty math skills, and the second time around I was going to major in a study that leaned heavily on math. I put myself into the lowest level course I could and basically started from scratch. It totally paid off. By the time I was through the mathematical pipeline I was acing high level courses and it felt great.

The second growth worthy decision happened on May 20, 2008. Jen and I were in the little postage stamp sized back yard at the duplex we were renting, cooking dinner on our gas grill. I reached a point where I just couldn’t stand waiting anymore and I got down on one knee and asked her to marry me. She said yes. Best. Decision. Ever. That lead to me learning how to be a husband, learning how to be a better human, learning how to be an adult, learning how to be a step father, learning how to be really happy, and basically learning how to be me at my best. Like I said, best decision ever.

The extra bonus decision is the choice to pursue weight loss surgery. I don’t know how much actual learning and growing have come from it. That’s probably a question for future Rob to ponder. It’s been two years (almost) but I will need more time to pass before I can pin down exactly what the differences are, apart from the number on the scale of course. That and the sizes on my clothes.

So there you go, folks. Two plus answers to the question of the day. No surprises here. Hope you all have a good Wednesday, unless you are reading this at some point in the future, in which case here’s hoping you’re having a good whatever weekday it happens to be on your timeline. Good day.

Make Your Happy, Happy

Daily writing prompt
What are 5 everyday things that bring you happiness?
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Five things… I can do that. In fact, I will give you six because one of the things I want to include is no longer what you’d call an everyday thing. So five things and a bonus… and “everyday things” might be a bit of a gigantic understatement in one case, but I am including it anyway.

  1. Jen. When I say that the word, “everyday” might be an understatement, this is what I am referring to. Jen is not an “everyday thing”. Jen is more like a miracle that I get to experience every day. See the difference? I hope so, because it is massive. Jen makes my world go around. Jen is my universe. Jen is the love of my life. Basically Jen is the source of everything that matters. Happiness? You bet your ass she brings me happiness. She brings me all the happiness.
  2. Bellana and Harry. They don’t live with us anymore. I don’t hear from them everyday. Therefore we have to consider this one sort of a bonus entry on the list. They are my step kids and they bring me happiness everyday, I just don’t see them everyday. See the difference? I can’t write a list of things that make me happy without including them though, so while they are number two on the list, they are sort of a bonus. I love them completely and just knowing they are out there in the wilds of Vermont fills me to the bursting point with happiness.
  3. Music. Now we’re getting to actual everyday things. I listen to at least a little bit of music every day. Even if it’s just a song here and there, or maybe something that comes up on my YouTube suggestions and I give a quick listen to. It doesn’t have to be hours at a time listening to album after album or whatever, though I suspect we’ll get some of that today at work. Playing music, listening to music, writing music, recording music, talking about music, thinking about music… all of it.
  4. A good story. It could be a book, or a TV show, or a movie, or a website, or a news article, or a chat with a friend or family member. I just enjoy a good story.
  5. Going for a drive. I don’t do this one every day, and sometimes (like today in the pouring deluge of rain) it’s less enjoyable than others, but I do love going for a nice drive. The enjoyment level is often tied to the destination, but any drive is a good drive.
  6. Cats! Robin, Lily, the late great Miss Patches, the late great Fluffy Puffy P, the late great Floyd, Buddy, all of my friends cats, all of my family’s cats. Cats make me happy. You might be able to tell from all the cat pictures I post around here. I do enjoy a good cat.

And there you have it, folks. Five plus one things that make me happy. Hopefully you will have a few things make you happy today too. It is Friday, after all. Enjoy yourselves.

Positive Changes

Daily writing prompt
Describe one positive change you have made in your life.
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This is easy. The single most positive change I have made in my life was agreeing to meet Jen in person, back in April 2007. That meeting lead to us dating, which lead to us moving in together (the anniversary of which is next week), which lead to me popping the question and her (thankfully) saying yes, which lead to us getting married, which lead to every good thing that’s happened in my life since then. If that isn’t a positive change then I don’t know what is!

In second place behind Jen and all of the family positivity that came with falling madly in love and sharing my life with her… it’s a distant second, but still second, is my weight loss surgery. Here’s an example. Last night I had to carry a bunch of things from the dining room and the living room downstairs into the cellar storage space. I think I made two or three trips in total. Had I done that two years ago I would have been ruined for hours. One trip to the cellar and back would have left me short of breath with huge back and leg pain. Just carrying all of my massive weight around was painful and difficult and awful and I was constantly in a state of wondering whether or not the next step was going to kill me. It was a pretty bad way to live. I was useless. I couldn’t do anything without having to stop after a minute or so and rest to get my wind and my strength back.

Now, two years removed from the gastric bypass? If Jen needs me to do something, I can do it. Back pain and leg pain are still a thing, but I can do 100 times more before they start creeping up on me, and they are never as bad as they were before. As for shortness of breath? I have to really kick my own ass for that to ever happen now. Physically speaking, I am living in a new world. I can’t believe how different I feel. Sure it’s been a difficult process. Hell, I had all sorts of stomach issues over the last week alone. I have to be extra careful about what I eat and how I eat it and when I eat it and all of that. I have to keep track of everything that goes into my stomach (though I am starting to wonder if I still need to track it as closely as I do, though I do find that keeping tabs on everything is good from a mental well being stand point. Also, I am a lifelong stats geek so it works on that level too) and that stresses me out sometimes. It’s a difficult road, but the results can’t be denied. I feel so much better now. Healthcare wise, that’s the biggest positive change. It’s still a distant second behind meeting Jen though. A far distant second.

Is Anyone Confident?

Daily writing prompt
Who is the most confident person you know?
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I read this question last night to prep a little for writing it up this morning. I honestly have nothing. Is it possible that something about my personality repels people who are confident? I can’t think of a single person in my life who is as self confident as they deserve to be. Everyone I know is smart and talented and capable, and all of them lack self confidence. All of them.

I wonder… does like attract like? I ask because I am the least confident of all of them. Out of the whole crowd of people that I know, none of them lack confidence the way I do. Is it possible that I am just projecting? Is it possible that people I know actually are very confident but because I am utterly without confidence I somehow can’t see it?

Everyone has moments of confidence. Everyone has moments of doubt. Maybe I just tend to focus on the doubt part and can’t really see the confidence part for what it really is.

Maybe I’m just bad at reading people. Maybe I’m just clueless.

Nope

Daily writing prompt
Do you believe in fate/destiny?
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This is a one word answer kinda deal. Fate? Destiny? Nope. Not this red head.

Allow me to quote a famous philosopher:

I’ve flown from one side of this galaxy to the other; I’ve seen a lot of strange stuff. But I’ve never seen anything to make me believe that there’s one all-powerful Force controlling everything. There’s no mystical energy field that controls my destiny. Anyway, it’s all a lot of simple tricks and nonsense.

Han Solo

I don’t believe in fate. I don’t believe in destiny. I don’t believe in astrology. I don’t believe in fairy tails. I do believe that The Simpsons is able to predict the future, but I don’t believe we’ve discovered the workings of that particular magic as of yet. I do believe that the universe doesn’t give the faintest shit about the little specs of dust called humans. I think it just keeps on truckin’, minding it’s own business and I think we’re all the better for it.

In other words, let’s let Neil Peart chime in.

It’s Just a Phase

Daily writing prompt
Describe a phase in life that was difficult to say goodbye to.
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I’m having a tough time coming up with an answer to this question. I can’t think of any phase of my life that was difficult to say goodbye to. Every time some major life period ended, there was something better waiting in the wings to replace it.

High school was replaced with college and even though the first time around in college was a mess, it was so much better than high school.

College the first time ended long before I wanted it to and getting a full time job afterwards was anything but a positive experience, at that time though college was becoming a nightmare and it had to end. I couldn’t figure out how to move forward academically, apart from starting from scratch, so I put it aside for a few years… and then started from scratch.

Graduating from college and moving into a career… you’d think that would have been tough to say goodbye to, but really I was ready for it. I had been a student for a long time and I used to joke that I was really a career student. By the time I graduated though, I was ready for that phase to end and I welcomed what came next.

I was depressed when my 20’s ended and became my 30’s. I didn’t want them to end, but I was already so low that I wasn’t sad to see them go. I was, but at the same time, not really. You know? My 30’s started out bad but I was 36 when I met Jen and 38 when we got married. Once I had started a life with her I was ready for whatever the universe could throw at us. I looked forward to time passing and phases… phasing. I was sad to see my 40’s end, but only because I don’t want to be old. I accepted that I was already old though so it didn’t actually change anything.

So I guess the answer to this question is that I never really had a phase in my life end that I had a difficult time saying goodbye to. Sorry if that’s a lame answer. I guess I am just a super mature dude who is able to roll with the changes, as the song says. Maybe I should pat myself on the back for that.