Tag: Life

No Regrets

Daily writing prompt
Describe a risk you took that you do not regret.
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There are a few I could use for this prompt. Mostly things that I have talked about at length in other prompts. I am at work right now and have a ton of things going on, so I will be brief today. You won’t have to dig far back to find more details, I don’t think.

Was getting married a risk? Do people see marriage as a risk? What about proposing? I ask because my gut tells me that will be a common topic of discussion today, but for me it is not. Getting married was not something I saw as a risk, it was something I saw as destiny. I wanted it so bad that I never saw it as something to be nervous about. It was something I couldn’t not do, know what I mean? It’s been almost 15 years since we said, “I do” to each other and it’s still far and away the best thing I have done. I could never claim it was a risk. Nothing could be further from the truth.

So what do I write about then? It has to be my college experience. Or should I say experiences. I started college in the Fall of 1989 as a music student with a focus in sound recording. I dropped out after the Fall 1991 semester. That was a risk. I still view that as much one huge failure in my life. It turned out to be the right move, but it’s still a massive fail.

In October 1992 I went to a tech school in Boston that doesn’t exist anymore and did a one year program studying sound recording. I graduated with excellent grades but struggled to find work afterwards. Going to that school probably counts as a risk, but it’s a low risk. I didn’t have much of a shot at success. Not due to the school, but due to my personality. On some level I probably knew all along that I was just stalling to keep the real world at bay for a year. I ended up doing warehouse work and being pretty miserable.

In the Fall of 1997 I went back to school. That was the biggest risk. I had a job. I was doing poorly but sort of getting by. Going back to school full time at the age of 26 was a tough choice but I was hopeful that it would pay off. It took a while to graduate, including changing schools once, but I did and I got a job and I started a career that I like and then I met a girl on myspace and she was amazing and you know the rest based on what I wrote a few paragraphs back.

So stopping what passed for my life in my mid-20’s and starting over was a major risk for me, but it is one that I don’t regret at all. I am very happy with the way things turned out.

Growth

Daily writing prompt
Describe a decision you made in the past that helped you learn or grow.
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You want one? How about I give you two? Maybe even two and a half? I’m crazy like that. Also, the stuff that I give you today also happen to be things that I’ve written about in daily prompts very recently so… yeah. Repetition is good for growth and shit. I don’t know, whatever.

First, we travel back in time to the 20th century. The early 1990’s saw a certain tall red head dropping out of college. A dumb ass move, for sure, but at the time it was the only move that made sense to me. A job followed, then a year in a tech school, followed by a failure to get a job in that field, followed by a crap job in a warehouse. That’s when we get to the point of the decision that helped me learn and grow. I was making like $8.00/hour working in a retail chain’s warehouse as the guy in charge of customer returns and I just got fed up and decided to give college another try. This time I wouldn’t be a music major, this time I would take classes that might actually lead to a job someday. Going back to school was the big decision, but a secondary decision was to rig my classes so that I started from as close to the lowest level math subject that my new school would allow me to take. My primary hang up the first time through college was my shitty math skills, and the second time around I was going to major in a study that leaned heavily on math. I put myself into the lowest level course I could and basically started from scratch. It totally paid off. By the time I was through the mathematical pipeline I was acing high level courses and it felt great.

The second growth worthy decision happened on May 20, 2008. Jen and I were in the little postage stamp sized back yard at the duplex we were renting, cooking dinner on our gas grill. I reached a point where I just couldn’t stand waiting anymore and I got down on one knee and asked her to marry me. She said yes. Best. Decision. Ever. That lead to me learning how to be a husband, learning how to be a better human, learning how to be an adult, learning how to be a step father, learning how to be really happy, and basically learning how to be me at my best. Like I said, best decision ever.

The extra bonus decision is the choice to pursue weight loss surgery. I don’t know how much actual learning and growing have come from it. That’s probably a question for future Rob to ponder. It’s been two years (almost) but I will need more time to pass before I can pin down exactly what the differences are, apart from the number on the scale of course. That and the sizes on my clothes.

So there you go, folks. Two plus answers to the question of the day. No surprises here. Hope you all have a good Wednesday, unless you are reading this at some point in the future, in which case here’s hoping you’re having a good whatever weekday it happens to be on your timeline. Good day.

Make Your Happy, Happy

Daily writing prompt
What are 5 everyday things that bring you happiness?
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Five things… I can do that. In fact, I will give you six because one of the things I want to include is no longer what you’d call an everyday thing. So five things and a bonus… and “everyday things” might be a bit of a gigantic understatement in one case, but I am including it anyway.

  1. Jen. When I say that the word, “everyday” might be an understatement, this is what I am referring to. Jen is not an “everyday thing”. Jen is more like a miracle that I get to experience every day. See the difference? I hope so, because it is massive. Jen makes my world go around. Jen is my universe. Jen is the love of my life. Basically Jen is the source of everything that matters. Happiness? You bet your ass she brings me happiness. She brings me all the happiness.
  2. Bellana and Harry. They don’t live with us anymore. I don’t hear from them everyday. Therefore we have to consider this one sort of a bonus entry on the list. They are my step kids and they bring me happiness everyday, I just don’t see them everyday. See the difference? I can’t write a list of things that make me happy without including them though, so while they are number two on the list, they are sort of a bonus. I love them completely and just knowing they are out there in the wilds of Vermont fills me to the bursting point with happiness.
  3. Music. Now we’re getting to actual everyday things. I listen to at least a little bit of music every day. Even if it’s just a song here and there, or maybe something that comes up on my YouTube suggestions and I give a quick listen to. It doesn’t have to be hours at a time listening to album after album or whatever, though I suspect we’ll get some of that today at work. Playing music, listening to music, writing music, recording music, talking about music, thinking about music… all of it.
  4. A good story. It could be a book, or a TV show, or a movie, or a website, or a news article, or a chat with a friend or family member. I just enjoy a good story.
  5. Going for a drive. I don’t do this one every day, and sometimes (like today in the pouring deluge of rain) it’s less enjoyable than others, but I do love going for a nice drive. The enjoyment level is often tied to the destination, but any drive is a good drive.
  6. Cats! Robin, Lily, the late great Miss Patches, the late great Fluffy Puffy P, the late great Floyd, Buddy, all of my friends cats, all of my family’s cats. Cats make me happy. You might be able to tell from all the cat pictures I post around here. I do enjoy a good cat.

And there you have it, folks. Five plus one things that make me happy. Hopefully you will have a few things make you happy today too. It is Friday, after all. Enjoy yourselves.

Positive Changes

Daily writing prompt
Describe one positive change you have made in your life.
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This is easy. The single most positive change I have made in my life was agreeing to meet Jen in person, back in April 2007. That meeting lead to us dating, which lead to us moving in together (the anniversary of which is next week), which lead to me popping the question and her (thankfully) saying yes, which lead to us getting married, which lead to every good thing that’s happened in my life since then. If that isn’t a positive change then I don’t know what is!

In second place behind Jen and all of the family positivity that came with falling madly in love and sharing my life with her… it’s a distant second, but still second, is my weight loss surgery. Here’s an example. Last night I had to carry a bunch of things from the dining room and the living room downstairs into the cellar storage space. I think I made two or three trips in total. Had I done that two years ago I would have been ruined for hours. One trip to the cellar and back would have left me short of breath with huge back and leg pain. Just carrying all of my massive weight around was painful and difficult and awful and I was constantly in a state of wondering whether or not the next step was going to kill me. It was a pretty bad way to live. I was useless. I couldn’t do anything without having to stop after a minute or so and rest to get my wind and my strength back.

Now, two years removed from the gastric bypass? If Jen needs me to do something, I can do it. Back pain and leg pain are still a thing, but I can do 100 times more before they start creeping up on me, and they are never as bad as they were before. As for shortness of breath? I have to really kick my own ass for that to ever happen now. Physically speaking, I am living in a new world. I can’t believe how different I feel. Sure it’s been a difficult process. Hell, I had all sorts of stomach issues over the last week alone. I have to be extra careful about what I eat and how I eat it and when I eat it and all of that. I have to keep track of everything that goes into my stomach (though I am starting to wonder if I still need to track it as closely as I do, though I do find that keeping tabs on everything is good from a mental well being stand point. Also, I am a lifelong stats geek so it works on that level too) and that stresses me out sometimes. It’s a difficult road, but the results can’t be denied. I feel so much better now. Healthcare wise, that’s the biggest positive change. It’s still a distant second behind meeting Jen though. A far distant second.

Is Anyone Confident?

Daily writing prompt
Who is the most confident person you know?
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I read this question last night to prep a little for writing it up this morning. I honestly have nothing. Is it possible that something about my personality repels people who are confident? I can’t think of a single person in my life who is as self confident as they deserve to be. Everyone I know is smart and talented and capable, and all of them lack self confidence. All of them.

I wonder… does like attract like? I ask because I am the least confident of all of them. Out of the whole crowd of people that I know, none of them lack confidence the way I do. Is it possible that I am just projecting? Is it possible that people I know actually are very confident but because I am utterly without confidence I somehow can’t see it?

Everyone has moments of confidence. Everyone has moments of doubt. Maybe I just tend to focus on the doubt part and can’t really see the confidence part for what it really is.

Maybe I’m just bad at reading people. Maybe I’m just clueless.

Nope

Daily writing prompt
Do you believe in fate/destiny?
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This is a one word answer kinda deal. Fate? Destiny? Nope. Not this red head.

Allow me to quote a famous philosopher:

I’ve flown from one side of this galaxy to the other; I’ve seen a lot of strange stuff. But I’ve never seen anything to make me believe that there’s one all-powerful Force controlling everything. There’s no mystical energy field that controls my destiny. Anyway, it’s all a lot of simple tricks and nonsense.

Han Solo

I don’t believe in fate. I don’t believe in destiny. I don’t believe in astrology. I don’t believe in fairy tails. I do believe that The Simpsons is able to predict the future, but I don’t believe we’ve discovered the workings of that particular magic as of yet. I do believe that the universe doesn’t give the faintest shit about the little specs of dust called humans. I think it just keeps on truckin’, minding it’s own business and I think we’re all the better for it.

In other words, let’s let Neil Peart chime in.

It’s Just a Phase

Daily writing prompt
Describe a phase in life that was difficult to say goodbye to.
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I’m having a tough time coming up with an answer to this question. I can’t think of any phase of my life that was difficult to say goodbye to. Every time some major life period ended, there was something better waiting in the wings to replace it.

High school was replaced with college and even though the first time around in college was a mess, it was so much better than high school.

College the first time ended long before I wanted it to and getting a full time job afterwards was anything but a positive experience, at that time though college was becoming a nightmare and it had to end. I couldn’t figure out how to move forward academically, apart from starting from scratch, so I put it aside for a few years… and then started from scratch.

Graduating from college and moving into a career… you’d think that would have been tough to say goodbye to, but really I was ready for it. I had been a student for a long time and I used to joke that I was really a career student. By the time I graduated though, I was ready for that phase to end and I welcomed what came next.

I was depressed when my 20’s ended and became my 30’s. I didn’t want them to end, but I was already so low that I wasn’t sad to see them go. I was, but at the same time, not really. You know? My 30’s started out bad but I was 36 when I met Jen and 38 when we got married. Once I had started a life with her I was ready for whatever the universe could throw at us. I looked forward to time passing and phases… phasing. I was sad to see my 40’s end, but only because I don’t want to be old. I accepted that I was already old though so it didn’t actually change anything.

So I guess the answer to this question is that I never really had a phase in my life end that I had a difficult time saying goodbye to. Sorry if that’s a lame answer. I guess I am just a super mature dude who is able to roll with the changes, as the song says. Maybe I should pat myself on the back for that.

Dictionary Edits

Daily writing prompt
If you could permanently ban a word from general usage, which one would it be? Why?
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I don’t have the mental focus to answer this question today. I’ll try, I am just completely out of sorts this morning and I don’t know how to fix myself. Ugh… but I must try so…

One word to remove from the dictionary, as it were. Is maga a word? I don’t need to remove the word, I just need to remove the fascist philosophy, if that’s even what it is rather than just open hate and racism and sexism and general fascism out and proud for all of the world to see.

One word… crud. I can’t think of anything. There are phrases that come to mind. “It is what it is” was used by nazi trump to justify thousands of Covid deaths and therefore has been removed from my usage completely forever. Fuck that fascist fucking fuck.

People misuse the word “myself” all the time and it makes me want to punch them in the eyes. I can’t say I want to remove the word entirely though because some people actually use it correctly.

I would say the word “nucular” needs to be eradicated from existence, but it is not a word. It’s an idiotic stupid mispronunciation of an actual word, nuclear. Pronouncing nuclear as nucular is an IQ test. If you do it, you fucking fail.

I am swearing a lot in this post. Clearly that means the word fuck is not my choice to eliminate. Embrace it.

I really don’t have an answer to this one. Let’s just go with mosquito because maybe if we all stop acknowledging them they’ll just fuck off and leave us alone. Yeah, that’s what I’m going with. Fuck it.

Bad Advice

Daily writing prompt
What advice would you give to your teenage self?
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This is a repeat question, isn’t it? It feels familiar. Was it maybe something I saw on Threads? I’ll answer it without bitching about it. I just wonder if my answer will be different than before.

Advice to my teenage self… there are a lot of things, most of which I know my teenage self would ignore.

First, stop being afraid of everyone. No one gives a shit about whatever it is you are worried about. There are worse things than being embarrassed about stupid things. Get over it.

Second, you’re in high school. There is going to be a magical moment, that you won’t even be aware of, when all of the things you stress about and think are immensely important stop mattering to you at all. You will realize that all of your fears and worries are totally meaningless. Strangely, this magical unobservable moment coincides precisely with your high school graduation. Years down the line you will realize it happened, but before it happens just relax. None of it matters.

Third, I know you love music. I know you love playing the guitar and playing the saxophone and playing with the band and writing music and recording demoes and all of that wonderful stuff. I know you want to be a music major. I know you’re not going to take my advice here, but majoring in music is the waste of time and energy that you already know it will be. It’s okay. You will continue to play as much as you can well into middle age (and counting). There are other things you can focus on as a career path. You know that Basic programming class you took in high school? Hint hint, dude. If you aren’t ready for that yet (you will be, in about eight years) then might I suggest a field that has always fascinated the shit out of you while also intimidating you to no end. Astronomy.

You need to do something in school before you jump on that bandwagon though. Your math skills are crap. You have the ability to do it all, you just need to improve your foundation. Talk to your academic advisor and tell them you need to start from Algebra and work your way through every level of math courses. You can and you will do it and you will learn a ton and you will have excellent grades. You just need to start over. Once you rebuild the math foundation you’ll eat the science courses for breakfast. I promise. Physics, Astronomy, it’s all there for the taking. Computer science too. On that one I know from personal experience. You can do it, even though I know for a fact you don’t believe me.

Forth, stop drinking Coca~Cola by the gross. Drink water instead. Coke is the ground floor of a weight problem that is going to spiral out of control and will require scary surgery to straighten out. I promise. If you can get off of that road then you should do everything you can to do it. Your health will thank you.

Fifth, be patient. Her name is Jennifer. You’ll see a photo of her wearing a fun hat that will be utterly adorable. She’s out there and you’ll meet her. Just be patient. She’s totally worth the wait.

Boring

Daily writing prompt
What bores you?
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Lots of things bore me.

  • Fascism bores me. Especially American fascism. Doesn’t it bore you? We fought a war back in the 1940’s to put an end to bullshit like this, didn’t we? How did we forget about that? Boring.
  • The maga cult and the qanon farce bore me. Reality is a thing. Facts are things. Everything that maga and q stand for are fictions. There’s a difference, you know? Claiming that idiotic fictions are facts is just boring.
  • Racism is boring. Thinking someone is less than you because of their skin color is the dumbest thing humanity has ever dreamed up. It bores me to tears.
  • Denying Americans their civil rights is boring. I mean, we have these documents that define everyone’s rights. Taking those rights away is both un-american and painfully boring.
  • Denying Americans healthcare is disgustingly boring, especially when the basis is gender. I mean, what part of the bill of rights gives you the right to tell an American woman what she can and cannot do with her own body? What part of the bill of rights gives you the right to tell another American what their gender is or is not. Fuck you and stop being so idiotically boring.
  • Denying the opportunity to immigrate into the United States when the United States is literally a nation built by immigrants is just ridiculously boring. Your family came here from another country (and unless you’re a native American that applies to all of us) but if someone else tries to come here from another country they can’t. Screw you, you boring nazi filth.
  • Country music bores me. BORING!

How is that for a list of things that bore me? There are a lot more things I could add to the list, but this will do for now.