Hate Watching Time Again

It’s 9:07 on Sunday night. The worst show on television kicked off its mid season finale seven minutes ago.

Fear the Walking Dead. It’s just so… dumb. It’s like it was written by an illiterate six year old.

It’s so dumb.

So Unbelievably Terrible

I just can’t. I can’t put it into words. Tonight’s episode of Fear the Walking Dead is so bad. It’s just… sooo bad. Every episode this season has ranged between horrible and stupid. Unwatchable and ridiculous. Tonight’s episode has to be the worst of them all. I didn’t think they could do worse than the crying baby episode, but this one just blows the crying baby episode out of the water. Granted, there was a lot of crying baby in tonight’s cold open, but it actually went down from there.

Oh my god this is terrible!

The Shittiest of Shit Writing

Fear the Walking Dead is just so bad. I don’t want to give examples that would spoil the show for some poor masochist trying to self torture but…

What the fuck? How? How can writing this bad make it all the way to the screen? Why aren’t the show running moron twins putting a stop to this before it gets out of the writers room? Why isn’t the network putting a stop to it before it leaves the editing room?

Good lord how is this level of shit even possible? It’s like they are fucking with us and just trying to see how bad they can get. Really. What the fuck???

Fear is Terrible

Spoilers. Not really story spoilers but still spoilers.

Like a schmuck I did it again. I kicked off Sunday’s Fear the Walking Dead again. I only got four minutes in last time and it was awful. I’m 15 minutes in and it’s worse.

My favorite part is the claim that a fucking Ford Pinto in safe from nuclear radiation. Really. They said that. Also, within the blast zone of a nuclear bomb the roads are still clear and passable. Also, they stripped the car of everything that it doesn’t need in order to make it lighter and faster but they left the cassette deck.

What the fuck, writers?

Also, the worst show in history has a nearly constant screaming baby. Our entire existence as human beings is programmed to not be able to stand the sound of a crying baby and the worst show on television fills the first quarter of the episode with a crying baby. It’s like they are fucking with us on purpose now. They are actively trying to make us hate the show now.

Fear the Walking Bad Writing

SPOILERS AHEAD, though probably not actual plot spoilers, just scene spoilers. I’m not really sure there is a plot.

I’ve been watching Fear the Walking Dead even though it’s inexcusably awful. Over the last few weeks I haven’t been nearly as offended by the terrible quality because I’ve barely been paying attention. It’s better that way. I just popped on last night’s season finale and I just can’t ignore it anymore.

Example 1: Truck driver speeding down the highway slams on the breaks and comes to a screeching stop. When asked why, he says because the breaks just went out. Really. He slammed on the breaks to stop the truck because the truck had no breaks. Really. Honestly.

Example 2: This isn’t so much a bad writing thing as a they never learn from their mistakes and we all saw this coming thing. Season four, a pre-teen girl murders one of the main characters. The response to the crime is that there is no response. No consequences. The other characters just forgive her and move on. Including the victim’s last remaining family member. (This is definitely a spoiler right here) Season six a pre-teen girl murders one of the main characters. The response is that there is no response. No consequences. The other characters just forgive her and move on. Including the victim’s wife and father. Urgh. Now there’s still a chance that that could change (I’m only half way through the episode) but come on, assholes.

Example 3: So woman I thought we’d never seen before is in the middle of the road with a baby in a back pack on her back. She’s hurt bad and is about to die. She has a dog that randomly happens to be there and she ties herself to the dog, gags herself, and then stabs herself. The dog turns out to be Morgan’s dog even though we haven’t seen it in 100 years. It walks to where Morgan is, even though the dog has never been there before and Morgan had never been there before prior to last week’s episode. The zombified woman follows the dog because she’s tied to it. The baby is still on her back and crying like crazy. The dog manages to find Morgan even though for all we know he’s on the opposite end of Texas (Texas is big, in case you didn’t know) without the baby starving to death, suffocating in the backpack, or the zombie reaching over its own shoulder to grab it. Also, when the woman died there was a missile in the air that had just dropped the first of a handful of nuclear warheads. The woman zombifies and the dog makes it to Morgan, all in less time than it took that first warhead to explode. I mean, there is such a thing as suspension of disbelief and all but this is just friggin’ ridiculous.

Oh yeah, and did I mention that Morgan knew the zombie woman? There have been 10000 characters in the last two years. Most appear once and then magically come back at the end and we’re supposed to know who they are?

The whole damn show is written like it’s some half assed Rube Goldberg machine.

Season six is finally over. It was better than season five but only because season five was the worst piece of shit ever filmed. This was better, but not by much. Please cancel this idiocy and put us out of our misery.