Stomach Fun

It’s been an eventful day in terms of gastric bypass life today. My stomach has not really been a team player. I think if I am being honest with myself I cannot blame today’s fun on my stomach. I have to put all of the blame on myself. Which is really the same thing, isn’t it?

Twice today I have had stomach pain caused by my poor little redesigned stomach pouch being too empty. Three hours after breakfast and three hours after lunch I had stomach pain bad enough that I had to eat something to make it go away. As my doctor said when I told her about the occasional hour-three-pains, duh you’re hungry. I thought about adding something to my lunch in the hopes that it would keep me full for longer, but I felt pretty stuffed when I finished lunch and I didn’t want to risk overdoing it. Looking back, I wonder if I should have pushed things a little more. Probably not.

The next fun came during dinner. I had a couple of ounces of chicken on my plate along with a scoop of instant mashed potatoes. I had finished the chicken without issue but I really wanted to get into those potatoes, babie. Just call me a red haired Irish stereotype. I had what I thought were a couple of small bites but either they were bigger than they should have been or I just ate too fast because my stomach felt a little blocked. Something was keeping the last bite or so from getting into the tiny little redesigned stomach pouch and that leads to some real discomfort. Worse than that, it lead to those few bites of instant mashed potatoes coming back up for an encore. Yikes! Sorry about the gross TMI here folks, but I need to document this stuff for posterity… or something like that. It wasn’t bad, just a couple of blasts and it was over. This happens with mashed potatoes once in a while (not very often, but enough to spot patterns) and as usual I felt better almost immediately. I still paused on eating for about half an hour and then I finished my dinner without further issue.

The last bit of stomach excitement is happening as I type this and it really is a non-issue. I don’t like going to bed without having eaten something. It probably makes my sleep less than ideal, but it is WAY better than waking up in the middle of the night with those empty stomach pains. I try to be full when I turn in for the night and tonight I think I may have over done it a little. I was a little behind on the old protein goal so I had a small protein bar to get over the hump. Then 20 minutes later I had some crackers. The two things combined were a little too much and now I feel SUPER full. Not painfully full but a little uncomfortable. I am going to try and stay awake for another hour or so to make sure I feel better before I lay down, but hindsight tells me I should have skipped the crackers. Oh well. It’s hard to gauge what my stomach will need at night so I may actually have to eat something else before I sleep, but I doubt it. I think food and I are done with each other for the night.

So four instances of stomach issues over the course of a single day. That is a lot more than usual for difficult days and given that most days are issue free it’s WAY more than normal for the average day. None of it was really too bad. I mean the vomiting was unpleasant but only for a couple of minutes and as soon as it was over I felt fine. All in all it wasn’t bad. I’d rather a full on easy day, sans-problems, but as problematic days go this one was pretty good.

In closing, I will quote the band Traffic, whose legendary self-titled second album was released 55 years ago this month, and say who knows what tomorrow may bring?

Month 17 Weigh In

Today is October 4th. My gastric bypass surgery was 17 months ago today. It’s time for an official weigh in. Are we ready? Am I still gloriously sub-200 pounds?

No, of course not. Don’t be silly. I dropped into Onederland thanks to Covid. I even said at the time that as soon as I started to feel better I’d hop back into the low 200’s. That’s precisely what happened. I am at 205 exactly this morning. That’s up 6.6 pounds since my sub-200 fun on September 22nd, 12 days ago when I was at the height (or was it the low point) of the Covid journey. The happy news is that I am still 0.6 pounds below my 16th month weigh in, so we’re “officially” down… or some crap like that.

My BMI is at 25 again, which is the exact line between healthy weight and overweight and sort of where I expect to be. My total weight loss since the surgery is 226.4 pounds (102.69331 kilograms, according to Google), and my total weight loss since the first weight loss clinic appointment on January 19, 2022 is 247 pounds (112.037 kilograms).

So there we have it. My 17 month weigh in is complete. Up next is the 1.5 year weigh in on November 4, 2023. Will I maintain and still be around 205 or will I drop into the sub-200 Onederland once again? Let’s all join in and find out, shall we? Until then, have a happy weigh in day!

Month 16 Weigh In

I can’t believe I did that. Yesterday was September 4th. I am supposed to weigh myself and write about it on the 4th day of each month because my surgery was on May 4th. Somehow though I forgot to step on the scale. That’s the first time in 16 months that I flat out forgot to weigh myself. I am really surprised at this oversight.

I made up for it today. Today is the 16 month and one day weigh in and it’s very uneventful. I did a bonus weigh in for no reason at all on August 20th, about two weeks ago. I am 0.4 pounds up from that date. I more or less maintained at just a smidge above the lowest my weight has ever been as an adult. I will take it, kiddos. I will take it with a gigantic smile on my face.

I was 205.2 on August 20. The lowest my weight has ever been was 204.8. That was on May 4, 2023, my one year surgery anniversary. This morning I was 205.6. 0.8 pounds above that lowest ever mark. My BMI today is 25, exactly on the line between normal and overweight. Technically on the overweight side of that line. My total weight loss since the surgery on May 4, 2022 is 225.8 pounds. My total weight loss since the first weigh in on January 19, 2022 is 246.4 pounds.

I still have this vague idea of dropping below 200 pounds, but it’s not a big deal. It’s more of a pie in the sky sort of thing. I am more than happy to hang out around 205 and just maintain for a while. That makes me happy. That works for me.

So the next weigh in will be on October 4, 2023 and I don’t expect to forget about it when that day arrives, but now that the precedent has been set? Who knows.

Happy (one day late) weigh in day. May your Tuesday after Labor Day weekend be quiet and stress-free. (This is for US folks only, of course. For the rest of you all it’s just a regular Tuesday. I still hope it’s a quiet and stress-free day but it has a different feel if it isn’t the day after a holiday weekend, you know?) Good luck, everyone!

Month 15 Weigh In

Today is the 4th of August. 15 months ago today I went under the knife and had my guts rearranged forever. It’s been a crazy 1.25 years, let me tell you.

The monthiversary is my weigh in day now. After a year of weeklies I cut back to just monthlies and today is the day. How did I do?

I did well, I think. I can say definitively that I am still maintaining. My weight is down quite a bit from last month but it is still above the lowest point. Last month I was at 213. Today I am at 207.4. I am down 5.6 pounds this month for a post-op total of 224, and a since-the-first-weigh-in total of 244.6 pounds. Glorious. My BMI is 25.2, which means that I am technically still overweight, but only by a couple of pounds. I can live with that.

I had given up on my vague goal of dropping below 200 pounds and reaching the mythical “onederland.” When I was over 210 last month it seemed like something that was unobtainable. Now? Today? Seven and four tenths pounds doesn’t seem like that much to lose, does it? Not really. If I dipped below 200 I think I would still be able to consider myself maintaining. It’s only four pounds and change below my lowest point.

Naw, let’s just stay the course and not be tempted by magic numbers. Until next months, friends. Happy weigh in day.

Foamies

The Foamies. I first heard that term from one of the bariatric surgery facebook groups. Sometimes when you eat too fast, or take too big a bite, or don’t chew enough, your food gets caught up trying to get into your newly redesigned stomach. Your body tries to help out by creating a ton of extra saliva. For some of us though, because our stomach is partially blocked, the swallowing reflex temporarily shuts itself off. That means all of that extra saliva sits in your mouth and just stays there. If you force yourself to swallow it your stomach starts to hurt a lot and you cough it all back up. The result is that you’re stuck with a face full of foam. Hence, The Foamies.

I sometimes get The Foamies just by taking vitamin pills. I end up standing over the toilet, or the sink, or a trash barrel, or whatever, just spitting out all of that crap. I just spit, and spit, and spit. Eventually it stops and you can move on with your life. Today I had two lunchtime plans. First, we have a big pile of chicken breasts that are going to go bad soon. I wanted to cook them in the air fryer and then store them in the fridge to have as leftovers for the next couple of days. I snuck upstairs and put them into the air fryer and set a timer for the first half of the cooking time with the intention of flipping them over and then putting them back in for the second half of the cook time.

The flip time coincided with when I needed to take my two afternoon calcium citrate pills. When the timer went off I grabbed my water bottle and my pill caddie for the day and went upstairs to the kitchen. I took the first of the two pills with a gulp of water and then went to the cookin’. When the chicken breasts were flipped over I gulped the second pill and went to work cooking my lunch in the toaster oven. It was a little piece of Purdue frozen chicken patty and some french fries, cooked in the toaster oven on the air fryer setting.

Two seconds after gulping the second calcium pill it hit me. Pain in my stomach and lots of saliva. Shit. The Foamies were hitting me. The toaster oven was supposed to run for 15 minutes and the air fryer was going to finish a couple of minutes before then. While I waited, I spit a ton of foamie into the trash barrel and the sink. It was very unpleasant and thankfully no one was in the kitchen with me. The air fryer finished and I cut open a chicken breast to make sure it was done. It was. I wrapped it all up and put it into the fridge. Project , complete. I spit up some more and then the timer for the toaster oven went off. I took out my lunch and measured everything so I could track it on my food spreadsheet. The Foamies persisted for another minute or two but it ended right on time and I started eating lunch.

I ate the chicken patty without incident. I was halfway through my 2.5 ounces of french fries when it hit me again. The Foamies Part Two: Electric Foamie-Boogaloo. Shit. It was a little before 2:00pm. It didn’t stop for an hour. It just kicked my ass. It wiped the floor with my digestive system. It was awful. I would work for a few seconds, cough up some crap for a few seconds, wash/rinse/repeat. Come on, stomach. Cut the shit!

I did eventually finish my lunch. Just a few minutes ago, in fact. The fries were really good. Nice and crispy. I just wish I could have had them while they were still sort of warm. I can understand when it hits me because of a mistake I make while eating. I don’t get why it hits me when I am taking something tiny like a calcium pill. I had a mild case of it this morning due to my morning vitamins too. What the hell? Should I be switching all of my vitamin pills to chewables? I was in my mid teens before I was able to swallow a pill without crushing it up first. I considered it a failure at being a grown up. Now that I may be faced with something like that shame again? I just don’t wanna! I’m almost 52 years old. I should be able to swallow a god damned pill!

The Foamies. The struggle is real, friends. The struggle is real.

Week 32 Weigh In! YES YES YES YES YES!!!!!

Hello and welcome to today’s weigh in post, and it is a doozy, oh my readers and only friends! Your humble narrator woke up feeling sick to his stomach today but he doesn’t care because HOLY SHIT!!!

Now I have mentioned that food has been troubling me over the last week or so and it’s likely down to that as the reason the numbers have me so out of my mind ecstatic this morning. Given that, it’s safe to say that once I get myself straightened out some of what I am cheering about today will be put back on. That’s okay. I can live with that. I am just in the moment right now and the numbers in this moment are… Fuck me, are they incredible!

Last week, for the week 31 weigh in, I weighed 254.6 pounds and my BMI was 31.

Today… week 32… oh my goodness… I weigh 248.6 pounds, which is down a mammoth SIX (6) pounds! I haven’t had a six pound week since September. Six pounds is MEGA, but that’s not what the bliss is about this morning. My BMI is down to 30.3. I’m three tenths of a point away from not being obese anymore, but that’s not what the bliss is about this morning.

My total weight loss since the surgery is breathtaking. I flipped the 10’s column again, moving up to 182.8 pounds! I have lost over 180 pounds since May 4th. I can’t believe it. That is absolutely stunning and shocking and that’s still not what this bliss is about this morning.

So what is the bliss about this morning?

On my first visit to the weight loss clinic on January 19, 2022, I weighed 452 pounds. Let’s do some math, shall we?

452.0
– 248.6
———–
203.4

OH MY GOD, PEOPLE! I TOPPED TWO-HUNDRED POUNDS! FUCK-A-DOODLE-DO, I’VE LOST TWO HUNDRED POUNDS IN SLIGHTLY LESS THAN ELEVEN MONTHS!

My total weight loss since the first check in is 203.4 pounds! TWO-HUNDRED THREE AND FOUR TENTHS POUNDS!

I HAVE LOST TWO-HUNDRED POUNDS!

I’m going to have to write more about this later because at this particular moment in time I am too dizzy with shock and delight to really process this. I will write more after I get to work so I can bask in the bliss for a few hours first.

TWO-HUNDRED POUNDS!!!!!

Three Months

Today’s a big day for me. Three months ago today I had my Gastric Bypass surgery. Three months. One quarter of a year. Let’s check in, shall we?

When I left the hospital on May 5th I was given four prescriptions. One was a pain killer and I never even opened the bottle. Another was a pain killer that I took for the first few days but (with the doctor’s approval) I stopped taking because it was making me really light headed. Another was an anti-nausea med and I never opened the bottle. The fourth and final med was an antacid. I took that one. They gave me two refills and I filled them both. This morning, I took the last pill from the last refill. I am officially done with post-surgical medication. From now on I will just be taking vitamins by the fist full. Happy no more prescriptions day!

I weighed myself this morning and I am a little ticked off about it. Wednesday is my “official” weigh in day, but I waited one extra day this week so that I could celebrate the monthiversary. Last week I weighed in a day early, so it has been nine days since I stepped on the scale. I lost 7.4 pounds. That is awesome. Seven and four tenths pounds. Epic. I was actually a little nervous that the number was going to be lower than normal. Since my last nutritionist appointment I have been eating more with each meal, and I have been having occasional snacks. I figured with the intake increasing a little, the weight loss would be down. Nope. This week’s results are really great.

If the numbers looked good, why am I a little ticked off? Well I’ll tell you. My total weight lost since the first check in is up to a gigantic 119.6 pounds. Wow. Just… Wow. My total weight lost since (four days before) the surgery is… ugh… 99 pounds on the nose. Ninety-nine. So close. So very close to 100 pounds. Ugh. You know what this means? It means I am going to have to weigh myself every day until I hit 100. Maybe every other day. I don’t know. I am definitely not going to be able to wait until next Wednesday to weigh in again. I am going to need to have that third digit.

Overall, the update is about the same as last time. I feel great. My back is starting to act up a little. I need to do some back strengthening exercises to combat that. My legs are feeling tired more often these days too. I need to do some more exercise there as well. My arms are looking flabby. It is definitely time to start lifting weights. I have a weight set and a weight bench and all that goes with it, but I haven’t set any of it up yet and I am still not sure what to do with it when it is set up. Google and YouTube will point me toward something, I am sure. I just have to do it.

Here’s hoping that month four feels as good as month three. I am really looking forward to it. Happy days, folks. Happy days.