Tag: fear the walking dead

Fear the Walking Reddit (Spoilers Ahead)

Major Fear the Walking Dead Spoilers ahead. If you’re planning to watch this incredibly terrible show, stop reading. You have been warned.

Back in the days of the first two seasons of Fear the Walking Dead I was at the height of my use of Reddit. I went to the Fear subreddit after every episode and chimed in on the episode specific post. I was one of the few positive people. Most people were really down on the show but there were a few of us who were optimistic.

During season three, when the show hit it’s meteoric peak, I started drifting away from Reddit. I don’t think I visited very often, but the few times I did it was clear everyone was loving the show. Well, most everyone.

For the last few weeks I have been logging in and giving a short list of things that were especially stupid in my eyes. There were some seriously stupid things in this week’s episode. This is what I posted:

My favorite idiotic moments from this episode:

All of the focus on the radios, but that’s every episode so it doesn’t count for this one.

When the walkers ate Daddy Padre and he just stood there calmly while they were eating him. Bonus points for his very much un-eaten walker self wandering around later in the episode because the swarm of walkers didn’t eat him, they just bit him a couple of times and then fucked off.

Madison smashes the mirror and everyone sees Padre brother in the office and they all act like they know exactly who he is. Not a single character had the obvious reaction of, “who the fuck is this clown?”

Daniel’s memory is back? Because of tea? My mother died in February after years of dementia destroyed her brain. I am fucking insulted by this little story line. I really wish my mother could have saved her life with that fucking tea. Fuck you, Fear. Fuck you right in your fucking eye.

I think there are 10 episodes left, right? I don’t think I am going to make it. I am just hate watching for completeness sake now, but I barely made it to the opening credits without screaming at the screen. This is literally, objectively, unequivocally the worst show ever.

Me

In explanation, the stuff with the radios. We’re supposed to be something like 10-15 years after the fall of civilization and every single character on Earth (according to the show) carries a walkie-talkie that works perfectly and has a battery that still charges without issue and they all talk to each other on the same frequency. It’s utterly idiotic.

Further explanation, last season they talked about a secret location called Padre. Now, magically, we find out that Padre isn’t a place, it’s a person. Or it’s a place. It might be two or three people. It might be two or three people and a place. Or a place. The show can’t seem to decide. Daddy Padre is the original Padre. Padre brother might be the current Padre, or his sister is, or both he and his sister are, or neither of them is. We can’t really tell because the show keeps changing its mind.

Daniel is a season one character. He was awesome in season one. He started getting a little mentally unstable in season two. He’s dealing with something that looks a lot like early stage dementia by season four or five. In this week’s episode he makes his first season eight appearance and he’s basically back to his season one self. He sort of credits his return to mental clarity to a drink that he’s slurping as he walks down the street. It’s so fucking insulting.

My post ignores the real dumbest thing in the episode. The bad guys kidnap kids from their parents to spare them the pain of their parents dying. So to keep them from suffering the loss of their parents… they lose their parents. I shit you not, that is the bad guy’s justification. Someone wrote that, and someone else said it was okay to film it and put it on television. Again, I shit you not.

I really don’t know if I am going to be able to continue hate watching this show. I don’t think I can take it. In my Reddit post I said there were 10 episodes left. There are actually only nine. There is a mid-season break, and one of the new Walking Dead spinoffs is going to debut during that break (Dead City, the one where Maggie and Negan go to Manhattan) and that show might actually be really good (I hope). So maybe I can fight through it. If I do, there are likely to be a lot of venting and bitching posts around here. Probably on the Reddits too.

You have been warned.

I Don’t Think I Can Do It

I just put on last night’s episode of Fear the Walking Dead. I haven’t even made it to the opening credits yet and I’m already so bored. It’s just awful, awful, awful.

There are only 10 episodes left in the series (I think) and I just can’t handle it.

I don’t think I am going to be able to make it to the end. Completist be damned, this show is just too terrible to stomach. I really don’t think I can take any more.

Fear is Back… Unfortunately

Fear the Walking Dead’s eighth and final season kicked off last night. I’m watching the episode now as I close my exercise ring on this Monday morning.

Why, oh why do I keep doing this to myself?

Why is being a TV show completist even a thing? Why am I compelled to watch what is clearly the worst show on television, and quite possibly the worst show in the history of television? This show hasn’t been anything other than awful since the second half of season four. This is the start of season eight and I am still torturing myself.

Why?

Ten minutes into the season premier and it was clear that all of the things that made seasons five, six, and seven unbearably terrible are still in play. After three seasons of shit, we’re still introducing new characters in the opening segments, they are still somehow… I don’t even know. It’s just stupidity, left and right. I still have five minutes to go and the walkie-talkie count is up to about nine, I think. Fear the Walkie-Talkie.

This show couldn’t possibly suck more, and yet here I am watching. What a fucking idiot.

How Can TV be This Terrible?

The Fear the Walking Dead hate watch continues for another excruciatingly painful episode.

There was an episode in the first half of this season, I think it was the mid-season finale, that if you’ve seen it you don’t have to watch last night’s episode.

Why?

Because it’s the exact same thing.

Different characters, slightly different motivation, but the exact same events. Like… exactly.

How does a network let things get this bad? It’s disgusting.

Self Torture

It’s Monday morning. I don’t have to punch into work for another hour or so. The junk pick up people are supposed to be getting here between 9:00 and 9:30. They’re going to call when they are close.

While I wait for the day to officially start, I am sitting at my desk torturing myself like some kind of schmuck. Yeah, you guessed it. I’m watching last night’s Fear the Walking Dead. Oh yeah, an episode about the kid who killed a main character in season four and was then accepted into the group without any consequences and literally marks the moment when the show became an intolerable mass of suck? Yeah, that show. How’s tonight’s episode holding up? Oh yeah, it’s just as fucking atrocious as you’d expect. At least this week’s ensign expendable isn’t actually wearing red like last week’s.

Why am I watching this god awful shit show when I could be making progress on the Marvel of it all?

Here is The Great 2022 Marvel Cinematic Universe Chronological Rewatch of 2022 Update:

  • Phase One-ish
    • Captain America: The First Avenger
    • Captain Marvel
    • Iron Man
    • The Incredible Hulk
    • Iron Man 2
    • Thor
    • Marvel’s The Avengers
  • Phase Two-ish
    • Iron Man 3
    • Thor: The Dark World
    • Captain America: The Winter Soldier
    • Guardians of the Galaxy
    • Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
    • Avengers: Age of Ultron
    • Ant-Man
  • Phase Three-ish
    • Captain America: Civil War
    • Black Widow
    • Spider-Man: Homecoming
    • Black Panther
    • Doctor Strange
    • Thor: Ragnarok
    • Ant-Man and the Wasp
    • Avengers: Infinity War
    • Avengers: Endgame
    • Spider-Man: Far From Home
  • Phase four-ish
    • Eternals
    • Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings
    • Spider-Man: No Way Home

It took me days to get through Black Panther. I had so much stuff to do and so little time for everything else. I think I needed four sittings to get through the whole movie. It’s a great movie. The battle at the end is as good as anything the MCU had done, at least until Infinity War and Endgame. Black Panther Two is coming this year (or is it next year?), I think. I have no idea how they are going to do it without Chadwick Boseman. He made the first movie what it was.

Up next is Doctor Strange. It’s a great movie and all but it has Pink Floyd’s Interstellar Overdrive in the soundtrack and that puts it on the short list for best movie ever. Seriously. No clue when I am going to have time to watch it though. We’ll see.

Masochism

Why? Why do I choose to torture myself? What is this masochism? I started watching last night’s Fear the Walking Dead and I wasn’t even through the last-time-on before I wanted to cut my own head off. Now I’m through the cold open and I still very much want to cut my own head off.

Oh good, another season/mid-season premier that’s going to introduce a brand new character that we don’t give a flying fuck about… because that’s worked so well for these idiots in the past. He’s wearing a flannel shirt and it does have a little red in it. No one saw that coming.

Two Sunday Evening Thoughts

Two unrelated thoughts to share on this Sunday evening.

First, DJ Roomba will roll tonight. It’s been a bit of a prick the last week. It starts, it runs for a few minutes, it goes home with some whiney bitchy complaint like its dirt collector sensor is dirty or some horse shit. I think it’s just lazy and doesn’t want to work. So much for the robot uprising, right? I just cleaned the shit out of it, figuratively and literally, I guess. I think it’s clean enough to eat off of now. I don’t want to hear any complaints tonight. Just vacuum up the whole house and earn your friggin’ keep, robot.

The second Sunday evening thought is a television thought. Tonight, in about 17 minutes, the mid-season premier of Fear the Walking Dead will air. Now given that I am a compulsive television series completist, I will watch tonight’s episode. I will not, however, watch it tonight. The first half of this season was vomit inducingly bad. It’s the worst television I have ever made myself watch. I wish I could allow myself to never watch another episode of that god awful piece of shit, but this is me we’re talking about. I’ll watch it via the AMC website. Probably sometime tomorrow. I should pirate it though. I should watch it in a way that will not contribute to the ratings in any way in the hopes that AMC just puts a bullet in the show’s zombified head. Bang, done. All of the fantastic actors can go get work on shows that aren’t written by second graders with alarmingly low IQs. That’d be nice, right?

Oh! I forgot that I had a third thought for Sunday evening. Happy Easter, where applicable. It isn’t really applicable to me in any meaningful way apart from wishing people a happy Easter, and having a nice Easter dinner with the love of my life. She cooked a ham in the crock pot and she air fried some veggies and it was all delicious. Thank you, sweetie!

Okay. I will now finish my exercise for the day (13 minutes still to go) and watch me some Captain America: Civil War. Suck it, Fear the Walking Dead.

Chef Lardo

The chicken is in the oven, the veggies are all prepped. I have about 7.5 minutes before I have to start prepping the quinoa, and I typo’d the word “the” twice in the first sentence.

Yup, it’s time for bed.

It’s December 6th today and the weather is weird. It was raining and blah all day, but it was also warm. The temps were in the high 50’s. I actually thought about opening up some windows, and I had my little desktop fan on for a while. How crazy is that?

Today at lunch I read about a mini-galaxy with a black hole at the center that is almost as big as ours. That does not compute, but it is also awesomely cool. There was a lot of online buzz about the two Walking Dead shows from last night. Well… not Fear, that show was atrocious and pretty much everyone agrees. No, the item of interest happened a couple hours after the episode aired when they announced the original lead character, who was supposed to have been killed off three years ago, is coming back. Oh good. I sure the writing they use to pull that off will be stellar. Yes.

Also, lots of buzz about the end of World Beyond. Specifically the post credit scene where we visit another country for the first time, and a tie in to the original show’s season one finale. It’s interesting and all, but it seems odd to give us a cliff hanger at the end of a show that literally no longer exists. I mean, it would have worked better if they told us where we could expect the pay off to come from. As it is we know there’s a road trip spin off from the main show coming, an anthology show which seems like a convenient excuse to bring back dead characters without retconning the way the morons at Fear are about to, and a set of hypothetical, near mythical movies. Safe to assume any payoff would be in the theaters, but who the hell knows. Whatever, the end of World Beyond was pretty satisfying and on the whole the two seasons ended in a way that makes me happy I stuck with it.

Okay. Time to prep the quinoa. Enough of this TV recap bullshit. It’s time for Chef Lard Ass to get-a-cookin’!