Tag: diet

Torture

This morning I had a little you’re-going-to-lose-weight breakfast.

Check.

This afternoon I had a little you’re-going-to-lose-weight lunch.

Check.

Right now I am cooking a little you’re-going-to-lose-weight dinner.

Check.

Unfortunately…

 

I AM SO HUNGRY I COULD EAT MY OWN HEAD!!!!

 

I was only off the wagon for a week and a half.  It’s not like I changed my routine that much either.  I just allowed christmas themed candy and maybe an extra serving at dinner.  That’s all.  Today though… it’s like torture.  I need to eat eat eat eat.

I’ll get past this though.  I am strong.  I am red head, hear me roar!

Going to be a Tough Day

It’s going to be a rough one today, weight watchers wise.

For the first time since we jumped onto the wagon back on Labor Day weekend, I failed to go grocery shopping this weekend.  That means I had nothing to make a brown bag lunch for today.  Since I didn’t have a bag, I also failed to bring my usual tiny breakfast.  Not good.

That means breakfast became a convenience store breakfast, which means donuts.  Very bad.  Later on today lunch will be cafeteria lunch, which isn’t as bad as donuts, but it’s not even close to as good as a small sandwich on a deli thin.  Worse, we ate out last night at a Japanese restaurant and I had hibachi chicken, steak, and friend rice.  Even worser worse, on Saturday night we ate out at what might be the best steak house I’ve ever been too.  I had the single best steak dinner of my life.  Ever.  Bar none.  Not question.  I also ended up cleaning off my wife’s plate… and my step son’s… and my step daughter’s.  Remember me being happy about losing 4.6 pounds last week?  I probably put it all back at dinner on Saturday.  It was soooo good.

This just means I have to go grocery shopping tonight after work, and that I have to be extra good for the rest of the week.  I can do it.  I just want to manage things until after the new year, and then it’s back to an almost militarily disciplined diet again.  I can do it.

Weight Watchers Weigh In Delayed

Last week I missed my weigh in because I was at my step son’s robotics competition. Today I am missing it because of turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, cookies, and pretzels.

I fell of the wagon hard yesterday, but I am completely back on board today. My mission is to weigh in next Saturday and be at least level with my last weigh in.

I need to lose the equivalent of a normal sized adult human being in order to reach a healthy weight for some one my height. Progress will be made toward that goal today, my friends! Onward to the healthy goal!

The Last One on Earth

I needed something to save me from my Coca~Cola addiction. Water could do it, but I needed flavoring. I tried a bunch of powdered options before discovering this:

IMG_4342.JPG

It was the perfect solution. I had all the grape juice I could drink, and no more soda at all.

Then Market Basket stopped carrying it. It’s been months. I had been buying them in bunches but I ran out. I switched to another brand, but no one seems to make grape flavor. It’s made life difficult (no it hasn’t).

Today I found this bottle in the back of a cabinet. I’m afraid to drink it. What if I never ever find another?

Bad Dieter

I’ve sucked at Weight Watchers this week.  Over the weekend I was feeling really sick and I had a moment of pathetic weakness.  I had candy.  Twice.  Two big Cadbury bars.  I felt bad.  I felt shame.  Damn if they weren’t the most delicious pieces of chocolate I’ve ever consumed, but I really did feel bad.

Last night the bad dieter struck again.  We were out running errands and both of us were really hungry.  There was a 99 Restaurant right there so we went for dinner.  I could have been good.  In fact I almost was.  I got a grilled chicken breast instead of my usual steak.  Not good, but better than it could have been.  I then lost control and got buffalo tenders as an appetizer, and to make matters worse I ended up eating half of Jen’s dinner when she decided she was full.

To make matters even more worse, go on and ask me how much exercise I’ve done over the past week.  Go on, ask me.  The answer?  None.  The closest I’ve come to using the treadmill was yelling at the cat to get off of it.

This has been a bad week for me, weight watchers wise.  I need to step it up or my total weight loss of 28 pounds is going to be a lot smaller come Saturday’s check in.

Food

I sat down to eat lunch a few minutes ago and read this article from NPR.  It is about how people who were obese but lost tons of weight still have to deal with the stigma of being fat.  Mostly the article talks about it in terms of dating, but there are other things like stretch marks and loose skin.  I could care less about the dating issues, but all of the other problems the article discusses made me think one thing…

Gee, I sure wish I had those problems.

I mean, if you’re going to have problems, dealing with the downside of losing a ton of weight would be preferable to dealing with an extra ton of weight.  Know what I mean?

I’m tired of thinking about food.  I don’t want to have to do it anymore.  Sure I prefer the way things are now to the old pre-human hunter gathering days when statistically speaking any meal you ate was probably your last.  I don’t think about food in that way, and I’m very happy to be living a life free of the threat of starvation.  Really, I am.

It’s just that I am thinking about food all the time now.  Can I eat that?  What should I have to eat that won’t mess things up for me.  Did I eat too much?  Did I eat too little?  Will that make me feel sick because it’s good for me and my body doesn’t know how to handle things that are good for me?  How much of food that is good for me can I have before it stops being good for me?

I was really good for most of last week.  Thursday night we ate out and I seriously over did it.  Then on Saturday we had Jen’s mother and step father over and she made a fantastic meal and I grossly over did it.  Yesterday I was good all day.  Even at dinner I kept it under control.  Then I got hungry after dinner.  I stuck to weight watchers simply filling approved food, but without even realizing it I ate way too much again.  Before bed I made my lunch for today (which I am nibbling on as we speak) and I realized that I ate nearly a week’s worth of grapes yesterday.  What the hell, Rob?

I want all of this to become second nature.  I want my body to tell me when it doesn’t need more food.  I don’t want to think about what is right or wrong to eat.  I just want it to become a habit so that I never even consider going off track.

I know though, that even if I do lose 200 pounds like the guy in that article it is never going to be second nature.  I am never going to not think about it.  I am never going to not drool all over the place when walking past the chips isle in the grocery store.

I know it, and that makes me sad.

Cake

My company is celebrating it’s 45th anniversary today. There is a cake available in every building and each member of staff is entitled to a piece.

They started serving it nine minutes ago. A group of people just walked past my desk, all with their own little slice.

It is chocolate.

Oh the temptation. Oh the pain! Oh how I want that effin’ cake!

I want it, but I don’t need it. It’s not on the weight watchers plan (I’m not counting points, I’m on the simple start/simply filling plan where they give you a list of foods that you are clear to eat). I must resist. I will resist. I will fight the temptation. I will rise above it and lose, like, one extra fraction of one ounce today. Damn you, chocolate corporate anniversary cake! I am better than you! I will defeat you!

Caffeine

It has been nine days since last I ingested caffeine. So how do I feel?

Well, getting to sleep at night is easier. Getting up in the morning is harder. How am I during the middle of the day? Well I’ll te >THUD<

zzzz
zzzz
zzzz
zzzz

Fish

I mentioned last week that I had some salmon and it didn’t kill me. Well the fish experiments continue.

Last night we had haddock. Much to my surprise, it was pretty good. Not my favorite thing ever, but pretty good. Today we had swordfish. Now I had always heard that swordfish was a good choice for people who don’t like fish because it doesn’t taste fishy.

How was it?

It was really fishy. Of the three fish we’ve had in the last eight days, it was by far my least favorite. Of course the kids loved it like crazy.