Back to Work

My month of post-surgery medical leave is officially over. I punched in to work for the first time at a little before 9:00am.

I am so far behind it’s insane, yet at the same time I already feel like I never left. There have been a bunch of staffing changes and some new policies and other fun things. I had 1,683 emails in my inbox when I started the day, and I think there have been 50 or so more come in today already.

I have had meetings all morning and that has made it tough to get my liquids in. I am in the middle of a slightly shortened lunch break right now and I am not sure if I will be able to finish my 2.5 ounce meal before the next meeting starts. In the past I would just eat quickly and then chug some water if I was feeling dehydrated. I can’t do that now though. My stomach won’t let me.

This will calm down over the next day or so, but for today I am stressing mightily. It will be okay though. I am happy to be back. I just want to feel a little less like an alien posing as me, you know what I mean? You probably don’t know what I mean, but that’s sort of how I feel.

Weird, man.

Day Nine

Hello and welcome to day nine post-op. What’s on the agenda for today?

Yesterday I had three one-teaspoon sized “meals” of pureed food. The goal is to get up to five quarter-cup sized “meals”. Based on yesterday’s success, I think that will be doable eventually, but not right away. Today, I’m thinking of bumping up from a teaspoon to a tablespoon. I think that’s a good enough push for myself for one Friday.

I also need to keep up with the liquids. Dehydration is the one troublesome thing over the last week. If I stay on top of it I’m okay. If I don’t I get a little light headed. It doesn’t sound like hard work, but damn, it seriously is. I’m doing okay, it’s just tough and I struggle with it here and there. I also need to continue to get off my ass for a few minutes each hour and move around and keep the circulation moving. That has not been a problem at all, I just need to stay vigilant. The Apple Watch Activity app’s stand hours goal is a help there. I think I’ve missed one stand hour in the last week. No troubles there.

I am turning into a television binge watching couch potato though. I mean, enjoy it while it lasts, right? I mentioned all the Star Trek yesterday, but I also got it into my pea brain to get back into Breaking Bad (I’m about to finish season two), and there’s a new horror show on Prime Video called From that looks okay. I watched the first episode yesterday. Today is also supposed to be the debut of the new season of The Kids in the Hall, the first in 30 or so years, also on Prime Video. I can’t miss that. Over on Netflix, I plowed through the second season of Russian Doll in world record time. It wasn’t as good as the first season, but it was still excellent. I’m also trying to stay connected to the guitar universe. I’m a little nervous about playing, what with the incisions in my gut to worry about, but there’s still That Pedal Show and Five Watt World and half a dozen other must-see YouTube channels.

Yeah… couch potato.

Before we get to any of that though… time to make myself a protein shake, then a tablespoon of pureed sweet potato. Later today, around lunch time, I’m thinking of maybe cracking open a little package of applesauce. Mmm, delicacy.

Bio-Break Blues

One thing I’ve read* about drinking soda is that it dehydrates you. I’m pretty sure it’s the Carbon Dioxide in the carbonation that does it, but caffeine might play a role too. I could Google that but I’m lazy. The effect of drinking lots of soda all day long is that you are drying your insides out. Sort of.

So what happens when you stop drinking soda? I suppose that all depends on what you replace it with. In my case, I have replaced it with water. So what happens when you stop drinking soda all day and start drinking water all day?

Well… you don’t get dehydrated, right? Okay, so what does that mean? It means a lot of things, none of which I know anything about what with me knowing dick about biology. One thing I do have a lot of knowledge about is… well… it’s embarrassing and well into TMI territory but…

…I am peeing all the time. I am living in Urination Nation right now. I’m really lucky that there is a bathroom attached to the room I spend all day working in because I only have to take about 8 steps and I’m ready to go. I am most definitely not taking the piss when I say that every five minutes I am taking a piss. It feels like every time I manage to drain the main vein it is full again within 20-30 minutes.

The math seems to work out: Drink water all day = Taking a leak all day. Even Geordi La Forge would understand that**.


*Maybe if I had proof read this post I would have noticed that there was a typo on the fourth effin’ word. I fixed it, but come on, Robert.

**Remember that scene from Star Trek First Contact when Zephram Cochran has to explain to Geordi what taking a leak means and Geordi thinks it’s the funniest thing he’s heard in years?