Before I start, a warning. There might be a certain feeling of smugness emanating from this post. Just letting you know ahead of time.

As always, let me start by recapping the previous round.

In the second round I picked:

The Penguins over the Senators. The Penguins won. I was right.
The Bruins over the Rangers. The Bruins won. I was right.
The Blackhawks over the Red Wings. The Blackhawks won. I was right.
The Kings over the Sharks. The Kings won. I was right.

Does anyone else see a pattern here? A thread that consistently runs through the four picks I made prior to the second round? Oh, I see it now. I picked them all correctly. Yes, I got them all. Wow. Usually the second round is the one that kills me, but this year I was four for four. Let’s also gaze back at my first round predictions. Well, what do you know. I picked seven out of eight first round winners. That makes me 11 out of 12 for the playoffs so far. Golly gee, I almost look like some one who knows what he’s talking about, eh?

That probably ends now, because I think I am going to pick both underdogs. Oh well. It was fun while it lasted.

Now for my third round predictions!

The Penguins vs The Bruins.  Oh crap.  I was afraid of this.  I really didn’t think the Bruins could beat the Rangers and wouldn’t you know it they won pretty easily.  Is there any chance we could be that lucky again?  The Rangers were a good team.  The Penguins are a friggin’ insanely awesome team.  No one in their right mind is going to seriously predict that the Bruins can win this series.  That means I’m out of my mind because that’s just what I’m doing.  Granted I’m a homer and no one reads these posts anyway so it’s not like some high roller in Vegas is bouncing around in his chair waiting for me to hit Publish so he can see what that fat red head in Massachusetts thinks about anything (even though I am 11 out of 12 this year).

The Bruins have a clear edge on defense, and in toughness, and maybe in goaltending too.  Unfortunately that’s not going to cut it against the all-star team known as the Penguins.  Still, I’m banking on Bergeron and Chara and Tuukka and Torey Freakin’ Krug to carry us to the Stanley Cup Finals.  Jaromir Jagr will, when faced with his old team, find his scoring mojo and that will inspire Tyler Seguin to not suck anymore and Milan Lucic will be so sick of seeing Pierre McGuire’s face between the benches that he will start pounding all Pittsburgh players into the ice and Matt Cooke will make a move to stand up to the mighty Looch only to catch sight of Marc Savard in the stands pointing at him with the most evil smile ever seen on his face which will distract him just long enough for Shawn Thornton to hit him so hard that his mother ends up in the hospital and the destruction of Cooke will scare the Penguins so completely that they will roll over and play dead just like the Rangers did.

Hey… it could happen.

The Blackhawks vs The Kings.  Great.  Now what do I do.  The two teams I was rooting for in the West are both in the Conference Finals.  So who do I pick?  The Blackhawks have been the favorite since this awful abortion of a lock out shortened almost season began.  The Kings though… they were my team last year when the Bruins went out in the first round.  Part of me wants to pick Chicago simply due to the possibility of a Boston/Chicago original six match up in the finals.  Still… the Kings were my team last year, and Quick looks pretty much unstoppable right now.  There, Jonathan Quick decides it for me.  I’m picking the Kings.

The four teams that are left in the playoffs right now are also the last four teams to win the Stanley Cup.  I am predicting that the trend will continue and the two teams that advance to the Stanley Cup Finals will be the two most recent Cup winners.

Go Bruins

Go Kings

Go Bruins more

Before I move on to my 2nd round predictions, let us recap my first round predictions.

As always, these are based on nothing more than gut.  There is no actual research involved in the making of my NHL playoff predictions.  Basically, Robbie is guessing.

In the first round I picked:

Penguins over the Islanders.  The Penguins won.  I was right.
Senators over the Canadiens.  The Senators won.  I was right.
Rangers over Capitols.  The Rangers won.  I was right.
Bruins over Maple Leafs.  The Bruins won.  I was right.
Blackhawks over Wild.  The Blackhawks won.  I was right.
Ducks over Red Wings.  The Ducks lost.  I was wrong.
Sharks over Canucks.  The Sharks won.  I was right.
Kings over Blues.  The Kings won.  I was right.

I should play the freakin’ lottery, right?  That’s seven correct out of eight.  Someone is pretty good at picking the first round, and it’s me.  Damn straight.

The second round, however, is where I usually look like an idiot.

Here are my second round predictions:

Penguins vs Senators.  How about those Ottawa Senators, eh?  They showed those heavily favored Canadiens how it was done.  Let me tell you a story… Jen and I were sitting in a bar at Mohegan Sun waiting for the doors to open for the Rush concert last Thursday.  At a table next to us was a Rhode Islander and two guys from Montreal whom he’d just met for the first time moments before.  They started talking hockey.  One of the Montreal guys gave some horseshit story about how he was a hockey fan first and a Canadiens fan second, and how he doesn’t hate or root against any team because he just loves the game and blah blah blah and he’s sitting with a Bruins fan in a bar in New England and just wants to play nice out of fear he’ll get beaten up so he’s all up with people and lovey dovey and yadda yadda yadda.  He went on to say how he never had anything against the Senators and how there was no real rivalry between Ottawa and Montreal prior to the series.  “But there sure is now!” he says.  Later that night the Senators eliminated the Canadiens.  It was glorious.  Congratulations Ottawa, you have won your way to the second round where you will be blown off the face of the Earth by the Penguins.  Huzzah and all that!  Pittsburgh wins this series.

Bruins vs Rangers.  Now we’re talking.  No it’s not Bruins vs Canadiens, but if you want a rivalry this is a pretty good one.  Boston vs New York.  I have to be honest, again, and say that I don’t see the Bruins surviving this.  They beat the Rangers easily a couple of times early in the season, but that was a different Bruins team.  There are two Bruins teams this year.  The one that played the first half of the third period last night in game seven against the Leafs, and the one that played the second half of the third period last night in game seven against the Leafs.  If the first Bruins team shows up the Rangers will win easily.  If the second Bruins team shows up it will be an awesome series and either team has a shot.  In a rare show of Bruins based optimism I am going to say the second team shows up and that this series is epic from start to finish.  I’m also going to say that the Bruins will win it, but I live in Boston so if I said anything else I’d be thrown off the Tobin Bridge.  Yes, I pick the Bruins, but they are going to need their A+ game for 60 minutes a night and I haven’t seen them do that yet.  My fingers are crossed.

Now on to the Western Conference.  Also known as the conference I hardly followed at all this year.

Blackhawks vs Red Wings.  I really didn’t think the Wings had it in them this year.  They are old and not nearly the team they used to be.  Still, they made it happen against the Ducks.  The Blackhawks however, do have it in them this year.  They have been the team to beat in the West since day one.  This is a great rivalry, and it should be a fun series to watch, but the Red Wings are going to be golfing when it ends, and the Hawks will be sharpening their skates for round three.

Kings vs Sharks.  California dreamin’ on such a winter’s day.  Yeah, dude, like surfs up down at the ice rink.  Okay, I’ll stop being that asshole.  I’m just really happy that these two teams are matched up because it allows me to safely bet against the Sharks.  99 out of 100 times, when I pick the Sharks they make me look stupid.  The first round was that one out of 100 times when they make me look smart.  The odds are no longer in my favor.  Likewise, I like the Kings.  Always have.  Now I can safely say that the Kings will defeat the Sharks and I don’t have to question my gut at all.  The Kings will win this series.

So if all goes to plan we’ll have Penguins/Bruins and Blackhawks/Kings conference finals.  See you in a couple of weeks, okay?

Go Bruins!

This is the time of year when I have some goofy fun making NHL playoff predictions.  This year?  I could give a crap.  I am still so pissed off about the lock out that the entire league has been boring to me.  I just don’t care that much about a league that doesn’t give a rats ass about its fans.

So this year I am just going through the motions.  I’ll watch the playoffs.  I’ll root for my Bruins, even though they spent the better part of the last two months playing as if they couldn’t give a rats ass about anything.  I’ll try to be engaged, but I’m not holding my breath.

Every year when I make my first round picks I preface it by saying that these are not based on anything other than my gut, and my gut is often wrong.  This year I mean that even more because in the abortion of a half-a-season we were stuck with, I barely noticed any of these teams at all.

So here goes.  Starting in the East.

Penguins vs Islanders.  Congrats, Long Island (soon to be Brooklyn).  You got back to the playoffs.  Now die quickly so the Pens can work on getting healthy.  Go Pittsburgh.

Canadiens vs Senators.  Obviously the Canadiens are going to kick the holy hell out of the Senators, but I am rooting for Ottawa here.  They are a shell of themselves, what with the 11,036 injuries (that’s a Tempest Fero reference, for those in the know) and all.  Because of this, they are the cinderellas of the East.  They should have fallen apart ages ago, yes the term “ages” is sarcastic in this 48 game bullshit of a season.  Still, I am going to pick them to hang on long enough to beat the team that I hate the most.  Go Ottawa.

Capitols vs Rangers.  Who gives a shit.  I completely hate them both.  Go Refs.  Urgh, but if I had to pick one… I guess the Rangers, but I hate them too much to say Go New York.

Bruins vs Maple Leafs.  Obviously, I’m picking the Bruins.  Unfortunately I am pretty sure they are going to lose, and their death will be not with a bang but a whimper (that’s a TS Elliot reference, for those in the know).  The team that prides itself on defense can’t hold a third period lead.  How many games do they have to throw away before people stop seeing them as contenders and start seeing them for the mediocre crap team that got off to a really fast start that they are?  I’ll give them the Go Boston, but don’t come crying to me when the Leafs knock them out in the first round.

Blackhawks vs Wild.  Congratulations, Wild.  You get to be destroyed by the Blackhawks.  Enjoy your four games.  Go Chicago.

Red Wings vs Ducks.  It sure is going to be fun watching the storied Detroit franchise get blown away by a Disney Movie.  Go Anaheim.

Canucks vs Sharks.  I am going against my better judgement and picking the team that always always always lets me down, and as a result I always always always swear I will never pick them again.  Yet I some how always do.  Go San Jose.  I think I just guaranteed you’ll lose, but I am picking you anyway.

Blues vs Kings.  The Kings didn’t let me down last year.  I’m sure they will this year, but hopefully not in the first round.  Go L.A..

There you have it.  My stupid, pointless picks for a stupid, pointless lock out season.

Go Bruins.