We live in a Superman obsessed household these days.

Yesterday, after spending the day ironing and washing/drying all the clothes I could find, watching a few episodes of Boston Legal which go a long way toward proving that William Shatner really is the king, listening to the fifth Dark Tower book on tape, generally enjoying not being at work (thank you Veterans), and generally missing my wife (who had to work), the kids were subjected to Superman II.

We watched Superman the Movie Sunday night before watching part II last night. They agreed that the sequel was much better. After they went to bed Jen and I continued viewing the entire series of Smallville. We’re well into season five now.

Yes, Superman is everywhere in our home. We even had two kids pretending to be able to move faster than light. Can you say wicked cute? I knew that you could.

Look! Up in the Sky! It’s a Bird! It’s a Plane! It’s Superman!

Oh and yes, we all agree that despite his lack of superpowers Lex Luthor is the ass kicking super villain. Oh yes.

I woke up very… very… very early this morning to the sound of the smoke detector at the bottom of our front stairs beeping that battery-is-about-to-die occasional beep. So I kicked off my Veteran’s Day off by leaving at the usual going-to-work time to find a 9 volt battery.

The first open store I come to is the Cumberland Farms on route 28 in Salem, NH.

I enter the store and start looking for batteries. I found what I was looking for quickly, all to the sound of the clerk talking with a guy over at the coffee pots. They were talking about next weekend’s Patriots game. The coffee guy was, for lack of a better word, shit-faced… plastered… wet-brained… well, how about drunk. Slurring his words, having real trouble standing up, basically slobbering over himself.

He paid for his coffee, I paid for my batteries, he stayed back a few minutes to finish his rambling discourse on beating the over-under, I went out to my car and plugged in my iPhone (to listen to the Stephen King Dark Tower Books on Tape project, I’m on book five) and the wet brain comes out and….

wait for it…

gets into his company van and drives to work.

Happy Veteran’s Day! God Bless America.

Some one at work said they saw the unedited raw security camera footage of this yesterday but I can’t find it after 0.68 seconds of searching. This’ll do.

Now you know why they say to stay behind the yellow line.

Isn’t there an old saying about God looking out for little kids and stupid drunks? Something like that maybe?

I don’t think I have any pet peeves or anything like that, but there are definitely specific things that annoy me. One just happened about half an hour ago.

I was on the third floor. I got into the elevator, heading for the first floor. (I’m lazy, keep your comments to yourselves.) There were a few people on the elevator already, one standing right by the button panel. No one was going to the second floor. Only the 1 button was lit.

As the elevator dinged for the second floor (it dings on every floor) the guy by the panel reaches up and hovers his finger over the “Door Open” button. The instant the elevator dinged for the first floor he pressed it as if his life depended on it.

As if we’d all be forever trapped in the elevator with the doors closed before us without his heroic action.

Of course nothing happened, because the door won’t open until the car comes to a stop, and once it stops the doors open automatically. Automagically some might say.

Urgh…

Some one’s got a case of the Mondays, which is odd seeing as it’s Tuesday. I didn’t have a case of the Mondays on Monday, but I do today.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Tomorrow is a day off from work. I plan to sleep most of the day and watch movies while eating popcorn and chocolate for the rest of the day.

Not really.

Maybe a viewing of Superman II with the kids might be in order, but otherwise I’ll probably put on some tunes and zone out while wishing my wife were with me.

Who knew soccer could be so violent?

How is it possible for two cars that are both completely stopped at a red light to hit each other?

I don’t know, but it happened to me this morning.

I was stopped at a light and had been for some time. All of a sudden I feel the faintest bump. I actually wondered aloud if we had been hit or not. I looked in the mirror and saw a very ashamed, embarrassed looking driver behind me who was silently apologizing.

We drove through the light, pulled over, got out, saw that there was no damage to either of us and that everyone was all right, and then continued on our ways.

The kids were in the car with me and I don’t even think they noticed when it happened. I felt sort of bad for them. They can now legally say that they have been in a car accident, which I imagine in terms of playground cred is a big deal, but it was so minor that it has to be a let down.

I told them when they get to school they could tell other kids about it but embellish it a little. Like, instead of saying we got hit but it was so minor we barely felt it say that we were stopped at a light when we heard the screaming breaks of the car racing toward us. Then it hit us with a huge crashing, crunching of metal (I was adding lots of cool action movie sound effects to this tale). We had to race out of the car and run to the side of the road. Just before we got there the two cars exploded and we had to dive into the grass to avoid the flames.

You know… just embellish it a little… for the sake of the story… that’s okay, right?

(all I know is it got some major laughs out of a pair of elementary school kids and that makes it all right by me. heh heh)

It’s an absolutely gorgeous day today. It’s November, how the hell did that happen?

I was just informed that at some point yesterday Jen told the kids she was going to make pancakes for breakfast.

Win!