I found this on twitter today. It’s a Wired article listing 100 quotes every geek should know.

I did not know them all. I did know most of them. Some of them I had heard before but couldn’t really remember. I had seen the movie once before but the line never really stuck with me.

Many of them are lines I have used in normal, every day conversation.

Here are the winners in Robbie’s book (this might take a while)… It’s only 43% of the total list.

1. “Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.” — Dennis the Peasant, Monty Python and the Holy Grail

2. “Three rings for the Elven kings under the sky, seven for the Dwarf lords in their halls of stone, nine for the mortal men doomed to die, one for the Dark Lord on his dark throne, in the land of Mordor where the shadows lie. One ring to rule them all, one ring to find them, one ring the bring them all, and in the darkness bind them. In the land of Mordor where the shadows lie.” -LOTR

3. “I’m sorry, Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that.” – HAL, 2001: A Space Odyssey

8. “If you think that by threatening me you can get me to do what you want… Well, that’s where you’re right. But – and I am only saying that because I care – there’s a lot of decaffeinated brands on the market that are just as tasty as the real thing.” – Chris Knight, Real Genius

12. WE APOLOGIZE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE – God (Douglas Adams), So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

13. “Some days, you just can’t get rid of a bomb!” – Adam West, Batman & Robin

26. “Do you know of the Klingon proverb that tells us revenge is a dish that is best served cold? It is very cold in space.” -Kahn, ST:TWOK

27. “Ray, if someone asks you if you’re a god, you say YES!” – Winston, Ghostbusters

30. “I find your lack of faith disturbing.” -Darth Vader, Star Wars

32. “Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try.” – Yoda, The Empire Strikes Back

33. “It’s a moral imperative.” – Chris Knight, Real Genuis

35. “Well, let’s say this Twinkie represents the normal amount of psychokinetic energy in the New York area. Based on this morning’s reading, it would be a Twinkie thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds.” – Egon, Ghostbusters

36. “This episode was BADLY written!” -Gwen, Galaxy Quest

37. “Worst. Episode. Ever.” – Comic Book Guy, The Simpsons

42. “Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… mass hysteria!” – Dr. Peter Venkman, Ghostbusters

44. “Wait a minute, Doc. Ah… Are you telling me you built a time machine… out of a DeLorean?” – Marty McFly, Back to the Future

45. “Don’t call me a mindless philosopher, you overweight blob of grease!” – C3PO, Star Wars

46. “I’d just as soon kiss a wookiee!” – Princess Leia, The Empire Strikes Back

49. “This is your receipt for your husband… and this is my receipt for your receipt.” – Officer, Brazil

53. “Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!” Vizzini, The Princess Bride

57. “Check, please.” – Lone Starr & Barf, Spaceballs

61. “No matter what you hear in there, no matter how cruelly I beg you, no matter how terribly I may scream, do not open this door or you will undo everything I have worked for.” – Young Frankenstein

63. “He’s dead, Jim.” McCoy, ST:TOS

65. “Bring out your dead.” Monty Python and the Holy Grail

66. “My name is Inigo Montoyo. You killed my father. Prepare to die!” -Inigo, The Princess Bride

68. “Redrum.” Danny, The Shining

69. “Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows.” – announcer, The Shadow radio drama

70. “We’re going to need a bigger boat.” – Chief Brody, Jaws

73. “Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here! This is the War Room!” – President Merkin Muffley, Dr. Strangelove

74. “These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.” – Obi-Wan, Star Wars

75. “Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!” – Taylor, Planet of the Apes

76. “You maniacs! You blew it up! Oh, damn you! Damn you all to hell!” – Taylor, Planet of the Apes

80. “What… is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?” – Bridgekeeper, Monty Python and the Holy Grail

84. “Danger Will Robinson! Danger!” – Robbie the Robot, Lost in Space

86. “All things serve the beam.” various instances, The Dark Tower series

89. “And I said, I don’t care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I’m, I’m quitting, I’m going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they’ve moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn’t bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it’s not okay because if they take my stapler then I’ll set the building on fire…” – Milton Waddams, Office Space

90. “Michael, I did nothing. I did absolutely nothing, and it was everything that I thought it could be.” – Peter Gibbons, Office Space

92. “Gimme some sugar, baby.” – Ash, Army of Darkness

93. “Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I’ve got news for you pal, you ain’t leadin’ but two things, right now: Jack and sh*t… and Jack left town.” – Ash, Army of Darkness

94. “Kneel before Zod.” – Zod, Superman II

95. “Shall we play a game?” – Joshua, WarGames

97. “It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we’ve got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark and we’re wearing sunglasses.” “Hit it!” – Elwood, The Blues Brothers

98. “Make it so” / “Engage” – Captain Picard, Star Trek: The Next Generation

I have two comments on the list. First, thanks to the writer(s) for including not one, but two references to the movie Real Genius. Second, I am stunned at the lack of references to the movie Highlander, or the television show Mystery Science Theater 3000.

You should see the sidewalk in front of our house.

Woah!

Christmas and New Years sure results in a lot of trash. We have three full barrels and a bunch of tied up plastic bags waiting for the trash men to come.

We did a huge amount of cleaning in the kids’ rooms recently, and we also restructured our Christmas decoration storage methods (ie, we emptied two old boxes into one big new box… I just like using big words sometimes.) Then there was the mountain of boxes the gifts came in. We got a lot of that out last week, but some of the gifts remained unused over the first weekend.

Now all we have to do is hope the trash men actually take all of the trash. They have, in the past, decided to leave barrels unemptied. I guess they like saving stuff for later. Maybe we’ll get lucky and they’ll leave the empty barrels in the street so they can get run over… again.

Oh well, happy trash day (where applicable)!

Post Script: Google just made me enter a capcha in order to read my own post. Let’s hope that isn’t a new trend.

The 2009 Darwin Awards came out today. I have to say that I am a little disappointed. The winner and the two runner ups are all very good examples of natural selection at work, but I think the crown should have gone to one of the also rans.

The winner is a pair of ATM robbers who miscalculated the amount of dynamite needed to open said automated teller. The poor math (or whatever it was… more likely rank stupidity) resulted in them blowing themselves up. The punchline, which probably accounts for their posthumously receiving the award, was their getaway car was a BMW.

Yes, that is a quality example of the spirit of the Darwin Award, but I tend to prefer the simpler cases. Take, for instance, one of the 2009 runners up. After drinking at a bar a gentleman pulled his vehicle over to the side of the road so he could get out and urinate. He jumped over the low concrete divider and fell 65 feet to his death. Seems the stretch of road he planned to use as a rest room was actually an overpass.

Now that, to me, is a perfect example of a Darwin Award winner.

Thanks to all who competed in this year’s awards for trimming the fat from our gene pool. Your efforts are much appreciated.

Okay, I have a new camera. It is definitely of the swanky variety. So far I haven’t done anything other than point and shoot, although I did try the burst setting and… well… WOAH!

I need to come up with excuses to take the camera out of the living room and use it… or else Jen is probably going to yell at me to stop taking her picture.

There are a couple of spots in town I would like to try out, but for the most part I am coming up empty on ideas. Give me some!

This is one of the kids’ Christmas presents in action. The car had just come out of the loop.

Have I used this picture yet? This is another of the kids’ Christmas presents. Our new (fur real) pet, Fluffernutter.

On New Year’s Eve the clouds and snow took a break long enough for me to steal a picture of the Blue Moon.

Here’s one that was cropped a bit.

Now, give me ideas!

Here is another report on today’s three car accident on route 93 south near the 133 exit in Andover.

This is from New England Cable News and I have to say up front that this traffic reporter is probably the only on-air reporter in all of New England based local television that I would like to see fired. We’re not seeing him at his moronic worst here, but I just have to say publicly that I hate this guy so much I stopped watching NECN in the mornings.

Now for the video…

I was 64 minutes late for work today. At about 7:48am (or so) I got stuck in a traffic jam on route 93 south. I got off 2 exits later (3 exits prior to the one I actually wanted to take) at 8:55am.

This is the reason.

Our nice long New Years weekend features snow, snow, and more snow. And more snow and more snow.

Didn’t the same thing happen last year?

Grrrrrr

Was that awesome or what?

Bruins 2 Flyers 1 in overtime. What a blast.

First period highlights:

Second period highlights:

Third period highlights:

Overtime highlights:

This leaves us with the sad task of putting away Christmas decorations. We’re going to take down the tree. Bumber, but necessary. We want to have our kitchen back.

Hope you had a great New Year’s Day.

Go Bruins

Happy New Year everyone!

The Bruins just tied the Winter Classic with less than three minutes left in the third!

…and now we go to overtime. Go Bruins!

At the start of the decade I was finishing up my Associates Degree at Middlesex trying to decide if I wanted to go get a job or go to a four year school and get a Bachelor’s degree.

In September of 2000 I returned to UMass Lowell after a nine year absence. I took a lot of classes, did a lot of projects, didn’t learn nearly as much as I had hoped I would, and in May of 2004 graduated cum-laude.

In July of 2004 I started a job. On December 31, 2009 I am still doing that job.

In 2001 I was best man for my friend Larry. I gave a toast that got rave reviews. I still have no idea what I said. I made it up on the spot. In 2004 I was best man for my friend Mike. I planned the toast that time and I think it was a bit of a bust. In 2006 I was best man for my brother John. I prepared the toast way ahead of time and then while walking into the reception I scrapped it and came up with a new one. It was okay. Nothing Earth shattering.

Late in 2006 I started talking online with a very nice, pretty girl from Salem. On April 5, 2007 we went on a date. In July I was a groomsman in my sister Lisa’s wedding. I took that pretty girl, Jen, as my date. In September we went on a couple of trips together and I was introduced to her two kids.

Not long after the start of 2008 I was living in Jen’s apartment. In mid-April we moved into an apartment together in Methuen. One month later, on May 20, 2008 I got down on one knee and proposed to Jen. One year after that, on May 30, 2009, we were married.

In between those two dates, in October of 2008, I was a co-best man for Larry’s second wedding. Also, in July of 2008 I became an uncle for the first time when my sister had a baby. In October I became an uncle for the second time when my brother became a father. Earlier I had become an honorary uncle, in November of 2006, when Mike became a father.

In this decade I got married, both of my siblings got married, and my two best friends got married. There were also a few other friends getting married as well. One might say that the 2000’s was the decade of weddings. I prefer to think of it as the decade of Jen.

I am looking forward to seeing what the 2010’s will bring. It’s all up in the air right now, but I am hoping to become an honorary uncle again in January 2010 when Larry becomes a father.

Happy New Decade!