We all know about the mess NBC has created by turning it’s too very successful and popular late night talk show hosts against each other while trying to destroy a network (and television in general) institution called The Tonight Show, right?

Last night I had a dream…

I dreamed that the tonight show was given back to Leno (which is happening next week I think?) and the twit who has the 12:30 show got to keep his job. The 1:30 time slot had some big changes (this is the part that was in the dream). A new talk show was created for that time. The Bruce Dickinson show. It was hosted by non other than airline pilot/fencer/author/lead singer for the English Heavy Metal band Iron Maiden.

A few weeks into the shows tenure Jen and I were invited on as guests. I don’t know what we did to deserve this. I can only guess Bruce wanted to talk to the two people who are most in love with each other and that (obviously) was us.

Unfortunately our entire appearance was taken up by me and Bruce talking about the times I’d seen him play live. “Remember that time I saw you in Portland, ME on the tour where you and Adrian (Smith) rejoined the band after all those years?” Bruce said yes and then gave a pithy anecdote about that night.

“Remember the show in Worcester, MA in 1990 on the No Prayer for the Dying tour?” I ask, and Bruce goes on to tell a story about that night too.

“Remember that time you did a club tour with your own band just before you put out your first solo record? I saw you at The Channel in Boston.” Bruce and I then go on to trade our favorite memories of that particular show for probably close to 10 minutes.

Then he gets word from the director that it’s time to take a break and go to the next guest. I had wasted our entire network television debut talking about old Maiden concerts. My wife, whom I love more than life itself, was upset because she was left out of the whole thing. I was embarrassed and Bruce was very upset with himself for getting off of the topics he had planned. He never once read anything off of his notes. We were both very apologetic to each other and mostly to Jen.

And that, oh humble readers, is the kind of crap that goes through my mind when I’m unconscious. It’s a good thing the real world is so much fun for me these days because my dream world is L.A.M.E.

(psst: if the song doesn’t play try clicking here.)

From the Jimmy Kimmel show… is that how you spell it? I’ve never actually watched it. I go to bed at 10:00pm like a decent hard working American. pfffffttthhh

So I left the house for work today without my reading glasses. It has made it a little difficult for me today, but not terrible.

Back story: I have been wearing reading glasses since I was in the seventh grade… Let’s say somewhere around 1984. Oddly, my lens prescription has barely changed at all during the intervening 100 years. My eyes are not that bad. I can read fine without my specs on, but keeping things in focus is kind of hard work and they get tired very easily. After a while things do get seriously blurred. Worse than that, after struggling through the blur for a while I will get a headache and that can suck quite a bit.

My eyes have felt tired pretty much since I sat down at my desk this morning, but it wasn’t until about 1:00 that I started needing to fight blur. Here we are at nearly 4:00 and I am still doing okay and there is no sign of a headache yet.

Keep those fingers crossed.

Now… I need comments for this part… what should Jen and I do this weekend? We are hoping to meet Nawal and Larry’s baby at some point but other than that we have no plans. Give us ideas.

Also, our hypothetical valentine’s getaway to New York City is off the table. We need things-to-do-for-valentine’s ideas now as well.

Your input will be appreciated. Even you, reader from Sweden who keeps hitting me via Google while searching for “How tall is Ginger Baker.”

And now, to quote Christopher Walken in that ping pong movie, I bid you toodles.

I got a phone call from my wife this morning telling me that some asshole cut her off on rt 93 so bad that she spun out. I want to find this prick and twist his/her retarded little head off. Why is it so easy for people to hate other people? Because of assholes like this.

I can’t find my glasses or my work ID badge. I know I had them in the car last night. I didn’t see them in the place where they belong this morning and thought, “Oh, you idiot you left them in the car and Jen took that car this morning.” Jen said they weren’t in the car. Grrrrr WTF did I put them? Now I have a splitting headache to look forward to this afternoon because I am reading without my reading glasses. Dumb ass.

The Bruins lost to the lowly Columbus Blue Jackets last night. Urge to jump off the Tobin bridge… rising!

On the up side though, today is Friday and I have two days worth of spending quality time with the love of my life to look forward to. Also, I might get to meet a new born baby as well!

It’s getting better all the time.
Better
Better
Better

Okay okay so I am posting more youtube clips. What are ya gonna do, scream? Complain? Elect an underwear model to the United States Senate?

Urgh…

On MLK day we finally got around to subjecting the kids to Mystery Science Theater 3000. We started with Cave Dwellers because… well… it’s so freakin’ funny it hurts. Next up will be Pod People because it too is so funny it hurts. I was thinking about it earlier today and the “song” the “heros” record popped into my head. Even better, obviously, is Joel and the Bots’ version… or attempt… they try to figure out the lyrics and come up with this:

Maybe I’m still put off by the whole Senate election… Maybe I’m just tired from being elated last night when my step-son lost his first tooth…

I’m trying to find a way to take this photo of my car’s current odometer reading:

and use it in some sort of 666 Number of the Beast meets Spinal Tap’s amps going to 11 joke or gag or whatever.

I just can’t do it.

I think i need a nap.

I am not going to say anything about yesterday’s Massachusetts Senate election. I am traditionally a sore loser when it comes to politics but I am going to take the high road this time.

I am going to say this though:

I’m pretty sure there’s a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.

I’m not an ambi-turner.

Or are you here to tell me what a bad eugoogoolizer I am? A eugoogoolizer… one who speaks at funerals. Or did you think I was too stupid to know what a eugoogooly was?

So join now, ’cause at the Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can’t Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too, we teach you that there’s more to life than just being really, really, really good looking. Right kids?

Wait a minute. I might just have an idea. They’ll be looking for us at Maury’s right? But they won’t be looking for… not us.

Well I guess it all started the first time I went through the second grade. I caught my reflection in a spoon while I was eating my cereal, and I remember thinking “wow, you’re ridiculously good looking, maybe you could do that for a career.”

I’m sorry that good-looking people like us made you throw up and feel bad about yourself.

How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read if they can’t even fit inside the building?

There was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the Maori tribesmen, where I thought, “Wow, I could really spend the rest of my life with this woman”.

It snowed a ton yesterday and then rained for a while and it all froze over. I was told that down to the South near where I work it wasn’t that bad. I expected a slow commute to start with but then it would get better.

It did, except that when I reached the area that wasn’t bad yesterday it started snowing. Urgh. I had one fishtail at a stop sign, and the red light back ups were longer than normal, but I got to work in one piece.

Weather 0 – Robbie 1.

I have the day off today. Thankfully the weather chose today to dump a mountain of snow on us.

Thanks.

The Bruins are getting spanked by the Senators as we speak. Typical for the first game home after a road trip. At least Bergeron is back.

As I typed that the Sens scored to make the score 4-0.

Thanks.

Speaking of Senators, there is a Senate election in Massachusetts tomorrow. Between 12:00 and 1:30 this afternoon the campaign for the plastic, screw-the-common-man, Sarah-Palin-is-our-future, republican candidate called us five (5) times. If I were one of his supporters I would vote against him in protest of the harrassment.

From obnoxious news to fantasticly wonderful news, I became an honorary uncle for the second time yesterday. My friend Larry became a father for the first time. Congratulations to Larry and his wife Nawal!

I think it’s best to end on that very happy note.

I dusted this guy off today in the hopes of being able to play it moderately well come February 1st.