Do you live in a heavy mosquito area? What do you do to keep them away? I just got swarmed.

When I was in high school I had a job mowing lawns. Why then is it that today when I mow 2/3 of our little yard I feel like ima fixin to die?

Wild kingdom update: I saw a garter snake in the front yard today.

In case you, like me, missed this particular piece of Boston sports news…

Last night the Red Sox won and the Yankees lost. That moves the Red Sox into first place all by their lonesome. After that horrendous start they had in early April, it has only taken them until May 27th to move into 1st in the American League East.

Damn, was last night a good night for Boston sports, or what?!

Veteran’s field in Salem, NH.

I watched the whole game last night but I still don’t believe it.

Boston is in the finals.

The Bruins did it! They proved me wrong!

The Bruins beat Tampa Bay 1-0 in game seven of the Eastern Conference Finals. Next stop is the Stanley Cup Finals against the Vancouver Canucks. We are four wins away from the hockey promised land. Only two teams left and one of them is my home town team!

I am so happy right now!

GO BRUINS!

ARGH!! I can’t stand it anymore! Play the game right now! WIN, BRUINS! WIN!!

I want the Stanley Cup Finals! You want the Stanley Cup Finals! All of the masses of people who read this ridiculous page want the Stanley Cup Finals (even if they don’t realize it… all one or two of them)!

Screw Too Many Men on the Ice!
Screw Wayne Gretzky and his little Mark Messier too!
Screw the entire 2009-10 Philadelphia Flyers Organization!
Screw that fan that Milbury smacked around with his own shoe!
Screw Ulf Samuelsson!
Screw Claude Lemieux!
Screw Every Montreal Canadiens Team Ever!
Screw Bill Buckner!
Screw Bucky Dent!
Screw Aaron Boone!
Screw Bob Gibson!
Screw Mookie Wilson!
Screw Pete Rose!
Screw Ray Knight!
Screw Stan Musial!
Screw Magic Johnson!
Screw Kareem Abdul Jabaar! (did I spell that right?)
Screw Eli Manning!
Screw William “The Refrigerator” Perry!
Screw the Super Bowl Shuffle!
Screw Brett Favre!

SCREW EVERY PLAYER AND EVERY TEAM THAT HAS EVER COME BETWEEN A BOSTON TEAM AND A CHAMPIONSHIP!

SCREW THEM ALL!!!!!!!

The Bruins are going to win tonight’s game seven! There, I said it! My Cautious Optimism is in full overdrive! I WANT THE STANLEY CUP FINALS! The hell with a lifetime of horrible, atrocious, miserable post season collapses by every Boston sports team! Tonight the Bruins stand tall! Tonight the Bruins WIN GAME SEVEN!

Redemption! Salvation! HOPE! OPTIMISM! All things that are foreign to Boston sports fans! All things that are ALIVE AND WELL!

GO BRUINS!
GO BRUINS!
GO BRUINS!
GO BRUINS!
GO BRUINS!
GO BRUINS!
GO BRUINS!
GO BRUINS!
GO BRUINS!
GO BRUINS!
GO BRUINS!
GO BRUINS!
GO BRUINS!
GO BRUINS!
GO BRUINS!
GO BRUINS!

Game seven tonight. I’m going to watch. I’m going to stress out. I’m going to panic. I still don’t think they are going to win. It’s just a feeling. I can’t explain it. Maybe it’s just the Red Sox fan trying to insulate himself from another painful sports disappointment.

Maybe.

They have to find a way. They have to prove me wrong. The last two times they went to the Stanley Cup finals happened to coincide with a certain Edmonton Oiler’s dynasty, even though the last time was against a Gretzky-free Oilers team. The Bruins actually won a game in that series, unlike the previous trip when the Gretzky-full Oilers swept them. The last time they made it to the third round they had the misfortune of running against a Penguins team who was on their way to the cup as well. (I think… I might have to double check that particular factoid… didn’t the Penguins win it in 1992?)

It’s been so long since the Bruins had a shot. They can’t blow it now. They must beat Tampa Bay tonight. They must play like their lives depend on it, not just their season. We, the Bruins Nation, need them to win tonight. It’s not a question of wanting it, we need it.

In an attempt to distract myself from the impending hockey doom, let me just state publicly that the Red Sox have scored more than 10 runs in each of their last two games, blowing out the Indians on Wednesday, and the Tigers on Thursday. They still trail the Yankees in the division, but only by 0.003 percentage points. A win tonight coupled with a Yankees loss puts us all alone in first place. That would make me happy. Not as happy as a Bruins win tonight (I would gladly trade a Red Sox win tonight for a Bruins win tonight), but pretty happy.

This weekend is Memorial Day weekend. I started an on-call period last night at 5:30. It lasts until 9:00am on Tuesday. This wonderful holiday weekend that marks the symbolic beginning of Summer will pretty much be a bust for me. The Bruins just can’t lose and make it worse. They just can’t.

Go Bruins!
Prove me wrong!
Go Bruins!

Just a reminder to all of my dearly adored loyal readers (reader), I really really really really really hate being on call.

Especially when it lasts for all or part of six days, including a three day holiday weekend.

That is all.