Sad

Jen left for a business trip this morning.  It’s been a little over an hour.  I already miss her like crazy.  It’s an important trip and it’s great that she’s going, but it also sucks ass.

Last night I had a super great idea.  If the mask on my CPAP machine is being a jerk and regularly losing its seal against my face, maybe I need a new mask, right?  Even though I spoke to the folks who fitted me and they told me to just be patient and that it might just take a few weeks to get used to it.  Well, I still have the mask I wore when I did the sleep test in the hospital, why don’t I just try that mask?  I know the hose fits because I am literally using it every night.

I pull the bag of stuff the hospital sent me home with out of my bedroom closet, dig around, find the mask… crud.  It’s exactly the same mask.  Right down to the model number and the placement of the velcro straps on the harness.  Sonofa…

What the hell, I’ll try it anyway.  Maybe there is something with the harness adjustment that will help.  I washed it, hooked it up, put it on, laid down and did my absolute best to not move an inch.  Almost immediately I could feel it sliding around on my face.  After less than 15 minutes I sat up, ripped the friggin’ thing off, threw a minor temper tantrum, woke my wife, packed up and moved to the couch so that I wouldn’t wake her again, put the original mask back on, and again tried my best to not move.  It sort of worked.  It came loose a few times, but not as bad as some other nights.  I got a shade less than five hours sleep over the course of about six and a half hours before I couldn’t fall asleep again.  That’s what passes for a good night now.

But at least I’m not snoring!  And the MyAir app is telling me that I have dropped from around 80 apnea events per hour to three or fewer.  Both are good things.  I just wish I could sleep through the night for a change.

But Jen is gone for the next few days.  As previously stated, it sucks.  I’m sad.  I need to come up with stuff to keep myself busy while I impatiently wait for her to come home.  Today I told my father I’d run an errand for him.  I’m going to leave to do that now.  I might go somewhere for lunch while I’m out.  The Border Cafe?  Maybe.  Maybe not, but maybe.  Then it’s home to learn a few new songs for band practice.  I lost a small battle verses gear acquisition syndrome today and bought an inexpensive attenuator that I can use with my Fender Deluxe Reverb.  I bought it on reverb.com… my first reverb purchase.  I will do all I can to keep the flood gates from opening.  Turns out it’s made by a boutique builder based in Tyngsboro, MA.  Like, half an hour from here.  If I’d have known that I would have just driven over and knocked on his door.

I miss my Jen.

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