My dislike for Mondays is epic.  Endless.  Eternal.  Also other words that convey vastness, many of which probably start with “E”.

Today is my mother’s birthday.  The team of doctors say she is in full remission, and I think that’s a pretty sweet birthday present.  Wish my mother a happy birthday, would ya please?

I have a question for my legion of readers.  My wife has a bad back.  I don’t know of anything that I can do that can relieve her pain.  Every time it gets bad all I can do is ask her if she wants some aspirin, or ask her to sit in the one chair in our house that has really strong back support.  Outside of that I am of no use to her at all, other than to be a gopher, which I gladly do.  Do any of you have any home remedies, ancient Chinese secrets, or tips handed down through the generations for easing major back pain?  Leave a comment and I am sure we’ll give it a shot.

The Red Sox won last night.  The lead in the wild card is one game.  Their magic number is three and they have three games left.  They play the lowly Baltimore Orioles who beat them three times last week.  Tampa Bay plays the Yankees who will probably tank in order to help keep the Red Sox out of the post season.  We are still in the driver’s seat, and can still clinch the wild card without having to rely on any other team… but given their pathetic play this month, to say that they are hanging on by the skin of their teeth is a vast overstatement.  Some might call the overstatement epic.  Endless.  Eternal.

It’s 11:30. The Red Sox and Yankees are in the 14th inning of the second game of a double header. The Sox have not won a game since June (slight exaggeration) and a loss tonight lets Tampa Bay catch us in the wild card race. A win increases our lead to one full game.

Jacoby Ellsbury just hit a three run homer. They lead 7-4.

I have been very disturbed by the September collapse. I am doing all I can to stay positive. I’m waffling between begging and yelling, but I will not abandon my seat on the bandwagon.

Today I am taking the Captain Picard approach to the collapse:

“The line must be drawn here! This far, no further!”

Hopefully we will get into the playoffs and advance to the second round where we will face the Yankees and throw out another Captain Picard line:

“I will make them PAY!”

We go to the bottom of the 14th with a three run lead and a pitcher I’ve never heard of trying to nail down the save.

One out…

I cant bear it!

Raise your hand if you live near Lowell, MA and really wish you still had an AHL team.

Me too.

How do you get a hippo out of the bathtub?

Beat it with a hammer until it’s mad enough to leave. Sure it will chase you and eat you, but it won’t be in the tub anymore.

What did one mushroom say to the other?
You are a fun-gi

Where do penguins keep their money?
A snow bank.

Thank you. Tip your waitress.

Is anyone surprised that I’m a pig?

Can you see the chipmunk? They are everywhere!