Yeah, it’s coming to that. A new low. Tiger Woods jokes by the truck load.

It’s weird… I think my Christmas shopping is done. I am sure I’ll think of something else to get, round about Christmas Eve or so, but for now I think I have everything that needs to be gotten.

So I am feeling a little Christmasie.

This year is the first Christmas Jen and I will have together as a married couple. It is also our third Christmas together as a couple. I just felt like celebrating that a little. Here are our Christmas trees through the years.

2007, our first Christmas. The tree stood in Jen’s apartment in Salem, NH. It was a real tree (do they still make wooden Christmas trees?) which, strictly speaking, was against the complex rules. We had to sneak it in, and then after we took it down we had to sneak it out. Sneaking in is easy, you just wait till no one is around and run up the stairs with it. Sneaking out… that’s tougher. After a couple of weeks it starts raining pine needles. That is a dead give away. So we cut the tree up into small pieces and carried it out in trash bags and left it in the dumpster. Call us criminal masterminds.

2008, our second Christmas together, but our first in our new home in Methuen. Our half-a-house’s living room was a bit too small to accommodate a tree without moving out all of the furniture so we had to think of a new solution. We ended up putting it in the dining room. We got a small table top sized tree for the living room too, just so we could always have a tree with us while watching and re-watching Rudolph and Frosty.

There was a bit of an adventure getting rid of this tree as well. We took it down the week after New Year’s and brought it outside for the trash collection. I put it in our little mini flower garden spot in front of the house. Between that day and the next trash day we got bombarded with snow. Most of which was shoveled off of the side walk and drive way onto our little mini flower garden spot. Burying the dead tree under four or five feet of snow. After the snow melted the trash collectors wanted nothing to do with it. We’d missed our window. The tree is now hiding safely in a mysterious place where no one will ever find it. Shhhhhh.

I have yet to do the annual photographing of the Christmas Decorations in the House so you’re going to have to deal with this already-been-posted-here picture of the 2009 tree. Once again it stands in the dining room, but this time it’s artificial. No more finding mysterious hiding places for dead evergreens for us. We still need to pick up our special-for-this-Christmas ornaments, although the kids have made a couple. That should happen this weekend. I’d also like to try and hang some lights on the stairs in the living room, if time permits. It doesn’t matter though, because I love our tree. Our first tree as a married couple.

I would like to close with a topical yet dirty joke a coworker told me yesterday. What’s the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa stopped after three Ho’s. ZING!

Merry The-Last-Christmas-Gift-Has-Been-Purchased Day!

Is it too early to make a New Year’s Resolution? Do I have to wait a couple of weeks before it becomes official?

It probably doesn’t matter, it’s the same one most of us make every year. It’s the same one I make every year.

Lose weight.

I lost a lot of weight leading up to the wedding and I have put it all back on including a fair extra chunk since then. I am back to being tired often and very uncomfortable and sore and in pain most of the time. I have developed a few bad habits over the last few months. Namely, junk food breakfasts and a return to non-diet soda as my primary source of liquids.

I can lose the weight. Not enough so that I will ever be anything other than a fat guy, I’ve come to terms with that. You will never describe me as “svelte.” Ever. But I can lose a few pounds and be more comfortable than I am now. Maybe I can even reduce the chance of a heart attack that I can’t imagine I am anything but destined for.

I will need help from my beloved bride, but I know I can straighten things out a little. Come January I will be back on the wagon.

The Onion News reports that the new spokesman for the Republican Party is the reanimated corpse of Ronald Regan.

Zombie Reagan Raised From Grave To Lead GOP

Still beats Sarah Palin.

That was a crazy weekend.

Jen hurt her back Saturday morning. We don’t know how. She was fine one minute and the next she was in really terrible pain. We had a number of things planned for the weekend and we both really wanted to do it all, but the pain was just too much. She kept trying to fight through it like the trooper she is, but it was just too much.

I had to leave her alone for a few hours while I took the kids to a Christmas party (see the private page for pictures) but otherwise I just tried to stay with her and not make things worse and help her with whatever I could whenever I could.

She is going to see a Chiropractor for the first time ever. She’s on her way there now. Driving is tough for her but she can do it. I feel bad that I’m not there to take her and help her in and out of the car.

Send your positive vibes Jenny’s way in hopes that everything comes out all right, and hopefully they will be able to straighten out whatever went wrong and remove some of the pain she’s in.

Good luck sweetie.

The funniest short film ever made. I forgot just how foul the language is in it. Don’t watch if horrible language, or blasphemy, or violence against Jesus, children, or Santa Claus is offensive to you.

Damn, I love this cartoon.

I just used a style tag to make the text on the body of a web page be Arial, while the text inside of a span tag is Verdana.

Oh yeah, I did it without writing HTML. I did it in Visual Studio using asp.

Yeah, who’s bad?

(of course my gorgeous, saintly, wonderful, sweet, super-ultra-wicked-mega-GENIUS wife told me how to do it.)

My wife is still having back pains. It sucks. There’s nothing I can do to help. I’m trying not to make things worse but I’m not doing a good job. Now I have to leave for a few hours and I don’t want to.

We made a list of things we need in order to upgrade or home network to Windows 7. It turns out that Best Buy had a deal that made it cheaper for us to accomplish our goals by buying a new laptop.

Hello from our new laptop, running Windows 7. Jen is upgrading her laptop from XP to Win7 as we speak.

Thanks Best Buy!

My sweetie rolled over funny this morning and threw her back out. One minute she was fine and dandy 3/4 asleep talking with me about our plans for the day, the next she was in major pain and unable to move.

Plans are in the works for a visit to a chiropractor.

Send your no-back-pain-positive-vibes to the Mrs for me.

Thanks