Sports pain and other annoyances, and a cool surprise

Wrong.

The Red Sox trail the Cleveland Indians 3 games to 1 in the American League Championship Series.  Winning the World Series in 2004 was supposed to make losing easier.  That was the theory at least, but when Manny Delcarmen gave up that three-run home run in the fifth last night I felt the crushing weight of heartbreaking defeat fall all over me.

There was something to make me feel better though.  A salve, or a balm to take away my pain. 

If you haven’t heard me mention it before, I am large.  No, allow me to rephrase… I am friggin’ huge.  Not just height-wise, or width-wise (in other words, not just because I am both really tall and really fat) but my head is huge.  Really, I have a cranial circumference that would make the average Dwarf Planet jealous.  Pluto looks at my noodle and thinks, “Damn that’s huge!”

The downside of having this huge melon sitting on top of my shoulders is that I can never find hats that fit.  When I was a kid I used to wear baseball hats everywhere.  About the time I finished high school my noggin’ was so damn massive that I couldn’t wear my baseball hats anymore.  After many many years of going without, last Christmas my family bought me a Red Sox hat.  It was the largest fitted hat they could find.  It looked like a beanie sitting on top of my skull.  It wasn’t even close to being large enough.

Fortunately, my girlfriend is not one to take defeat lightly.  Without my knowing she went looking for a hat that would fit on my humongous head.  She did a little secret agent style research, conspiring with my mother, and purchased a hat for me as a Christmas present.  Unfortunately for the holidays the Red Sox are in the play-offs and the post-season is quickly coming unraveled.  So last night she decided to give me the hat. 

It totally fits.

You might be wondering, what size hat did she find that would fit atop Mount Red Hair.  The answer is a staggering XXXXXL.  Yeah, you read that right.  Extra-extra-extra-extra-EXTRA large.  In other words, Freakishly large times five.

I have stated a few times that she’s the coolest girlfriend ever.  Now she’s just showing off.  How cool is she?  She Bought Me A Freakin’ RED SOX HAT!

That’s as cool as it gets kiddies… as cool as it gets.

As bad as the pain from the Red Sox is right now, there was a bright spot sports-wise this past week.  The Lowell Devils have a winning record.  After losing their first game on the road in embarrassing fashion to Portland, a one goal lead in the third period turned into a three goal loss, they came home for two games and won them both.  They came from behind to beat Bridgeport and then spanked Portland.  Tonight they are playing the Providence Bruins.  I expect the winning ways to continue.  After last night’s Red Sox game I NEED the winning ways to continue.

On an unrelated note:  I have been experimenting with alternate routes to work in the morning.  I have a couple of back road only routes that I have mapped out.  Generally I’m happy with the results thus far.  It takes me a lot longer to get to work than the highways would without traffic, but it’s faster than the highways with traffic.  Traffic sucks. 

There are a few things getting on my nerves though.  First:  If you plan on driving your car on any road anywhere… fix your damn break lights.  You know, those things that tell the driver behind you that you are stopping?  Life is much better when those things are functioning.  Second:  If your vehicle is wider than the road you are trying to drive on… don’t drive on that road.  18 wheel tractor-trailers should probably not be driving on side streets that are little more than alleys.  Third:  If the road you are on has a posted speed limit and you are traveling at a rate of speed that is significantly less than said speed limit… the guy driving the big Buick behind you is going to be pissed off at you.  15 miles per hour in a 35 miles per hour zone is way too fucking slow.  Step on your gas pedal.  If you are too afraid to drive a car during the morning rush… don’t.  Some one is going to hit you.  Chances are they are going to be going fast enough to kill you.  If you’re afraid to drive:  Don’t drive.

Thank you

Good night