Tag: scary

Scary Demon Monster

I saw something scary in the cellar this morning. A demon from hell that is the scariest monster in the known universe.

I saw…

I can’t even type it, it’s so terrible…

I saw a house centipede.

Pause to give everyone some time to scream in abject terror for their very existence.

It was on the floor next to my pedal board in my music nook. I am pretty sure it was dead. It didn’t move as I approached it and if you know anything about house centipedes you know that they are the fastest muthas in the west. They don’t just let you walk up to them. When they see you coming, they bolt. This guy just sat there and even let my foot hover above him for a couple of seconds. Yeah, it was already dead.

If it wasn’t dead at that point though, it was certainly dead after I stepped on it. Squish, babie. One less demonic asshole in the world. Normally I would feel bad about squishing a little living thing, but these guys are so evil looking (and they scare the shit out of my wife) that I have sentenced all who enter my domain to death. Sorry, nature. I know they are actually good to have around because they eat all of the other bugs, but sometimes you cannot let evil like this exist, ya know?

Change of subject.

I am a dope. I also can’t tell time and I have a memory like a sieve. My wife is going to the office today. She told me she was leaving at 7:45. I made a note. I would make sure I got through my whole morning routine before then so that I could properly say goodbye to her.

I got up early and dashed down cellar to do my morning exercise. Success. I came upstairs and did a couple of things and then at the appropriate time I walked up to her office, where she was sitting at her desk, and was about to say that I was ready to wish her a good day whenever she was ready to go… and that was when I realized she said 7:45, not 6:45, and the current time was actually 6:45.

I am an idiot.

Well, at least I am ready to say goodbye when she is ready to go. I’ve got that going for me, right?

Tough Night

I hit my goal for protein yesterday and I only missed my fluid goal by one ounce. I felt like I was in a good place as bed time approached.

It was about 11:00pm and I was trying to decide if I wanted to hate watch Fear the Walking Dead on the 11:15pm AMC replay or just pack it in for the night. I was sitting up in bed surfing around on my iPad when I realized I could only see the edges of the screen.

Ah, hell.

I don’t know about anyone else, but that vision thing has happened to me 3-4 times in my life and it’s very clearly the start of a migraine. In those few previous experiences the only help was darkness and sleep. It was bed time anyway so I quickly killed the lights, put on the CPAP mask, squeezed my eyes shut, and pulled the covers over my head. Fortunately I was asleep before the headache pain kicked in. I did wake up for a while a couple of hours later and there was definitely a headache. Fortunately, again, I was able to fall back to sleep pretty quickly.

When I woke up, at around 6:30am, I was better, I guess. My head was a little mushy but the pain was pretty much gone and my eyes were back to normal. Now, about four hours later, I am better still. I’m not 100%, but I am okay. I took out the trash, scooped the litter box, filled the bird feeder, and did a load of laundry. That’s a lot of work for me right now. I think it’s time to just watch some TV and calm my ass down for a while.

Here’s hoping that doesn’t happen again, and if it does let’s hope it waits a few years at least.