Today is opening day for Major League Baseball (excluding two teams that played a game overseas somewhere? Do I have that info correct?).

Today should really be a national holiday in the United States, even though Boston Red Sox fans, like me, get royally screwed.

Game one for the Red Sox is in Seattle. The local start time in Seattle is 7:00pm. That’s fine for them, but Boston is on the opposite coast and there is a three hour time difference. Start time for us here in New England is 10:00pm. There is zero chance of me staying up to watch even one pitch of tonight’s game.

Thanks for nothing, MLB schedule makers. We don’t get a game at a watchable start time until Sunday. That’s game four for the season. Sunday is an afternoon game in Seattle, starting at 1:00pm Pacific time, which is 4:00pm Eastern time. That would be nice except that it’s also easter Sunday and we’re having dinner with my father at 4:30… so I won’t be watching that game either. What a pain in the ass?

So MLB, how about a rule that says all opening day series must be played in both teams’ local time zones. You know, so the fans can actually watch the friggin’ games. Not that MLB gives the faintest shit about the fans. Just look at the start times for playoff games. They all start too late for normal people to watch the whole game, and heaven forbid a kid should want to watch a playoff game. No way.

Thanks for nothing, assholes.