The alarm is set for 5:00 AM. I woke up at 3:30 and haven’t been able to fall back asleep. It’s 4:25 now. Crud.

Lots of stories online of folks freaking out while shopping for things like hand sanitizer. Remember when Americans trusted science and listened to the press when it suggested how to act during a crisis? Okay, so maybe Americans never truly had a grasp on that one, but you know what I mean. I feel as deluded as Archie Bunker for thinking, “those were the days.”

On a more serious note (seriously!), I haven’t shaved in over a week. I was thinking that if society collapsed I would want to look the part. You know, Grizzly Adams meats Rick Grimes and shit. Sadly I’ve reached the point where I can’t stand being this fury any more. I’m going to shave. Forgive me for entering the apocalypse looking all 48-year-old-baby-faced and shit.