Tag: Baseball

Holy Shiznits!

This post will cross post onto twitter and my step son is now following me on twitter… so I need to cut down on the swearing. I need to try to stop saying shit, you know? Oh…. whoops.

So twice in less than a week we have been given the wintry gift* of a snow fall that piled up over a foot deep. I shoveled the first storm on Thursday night in about an hour. It was deep but very light. It was also super cold and superer windy.

Tonight, after work, I went outside to shovel storm #2 which finished early this morning. The second time… well, there was more of it… it is significantly heavier… it’s not as cold, but it’s almost as windy and the wind chill is downright oppressive.

I had to stop part way through to give my back a rest. I just took 1231246 extra strength Tylenols** so hopefully I will have some degree of movement when I go back out in a couple of minutes.

I think I read today that it’s 48 days until Major League Baseball’s opening day. It can’t get here fast enough.

*When I say “gift” what I really mean is “kick in the balls”.

**When I say 1231246 I really mean three. I’m 6’5″ tall and way (REDACTED) pounds. I once had a doctor tell me that it was safe for me to go a tad above the average over the counter medication’s recommended dose. I usually don’t, but when my back hurts like this I will hold that doctor’s statement in front of me like a shield, and I will also wield it like a sword.

MLB Playoff Predictions — Wrap Up, and a Warning to Cubs Fans

I was 1–1 in the wild card round.
I was 2–2 in the division round.
I was 1–1 in the league championship round.

Do you all know that I once played in a band called Break Even? Fitting, huh?

Whether or not I finish the post season with a winning prediction record all came down to the World Series. I really wanted Cleveland to win, but I didn’t really think they would. So I picked Chicago to win, using my head instead of my heart. I was right. I’m happy that I picked the winner, but I’m sad that I picked the winner.

I think there might be a screw loose in this brain of mine.

So I finish with a win-loss record of 5–4, for a 55.6 percentage. I usually do much better than that with my post season predictions, but the Red Sox got swept in the division round, so who really gives a rats ass?

Now we’re all in wait-till-next year mode while the damn Cubs drink themselves into a months long stupor to celebrate their ending of their futility streak.

I have some bad news for Cubs fans, from the perspective of a Red Sox fan.

The Red Sox won the World Series in 1918, beating the Cubs in fact. They went down the tubes in the years that followed before getting back in 1946. They lost in seven games. Again, they went down the tubes for a while before returning in 1967 where they lost in seven games again. They were competitive more often than not after that, but they lost in seven games again in 1975 and 1986. There were also crushing non-World Series defeats in 1978 and 2003, as well as a bunch of post season appearances where they were good but not really good enough.

So many times they were so close. We called ourselves the Fellowship of the Miserable. Some frizzy haired sports columnist said we were cursed and the whole rest of the country jumped on that stupid wagon. We were always good but never good enough. It defined us. Pain and suffering bonded us together as a community of loser fans. It was awful, but it was our thing.

Then in 2004 the Red Sox finally broke through and won the World Series. It was magical. It was so exciting. I had about 300 heart attacks that October but it was worth every second. Our team won it all, after 86 years they had finally won it all. It was the greatest feeling ever. And then…

We all went to work the next day and it was business as usual. Wait a tick, that’s not how it was supposed to be. The world was supposed to change, wasn’t it? We were supposed to be able to bathe in the glory of victory. There was supposed to be a fundamental difference to who we were as a community.

But there wasn’t. Until a few months later when there was.

The celebration carried through the Winter, all the way to the next Spring. At the home opener we raised the banner and got to feel all the feels again. It was wonderful and then it was over.

Our baseball team’s futility was what held us together as a people. It was the glue that bonded our little loser community together. Once they were no longer losers, then we no longer had a community. The bond went away and it has never come back. There are still people who live and die with the Red Sox like there were before, but the massively overwhelming number of die hard fans has morphed into a new community of casual fans who follow the team but really don’t care one way or the other. The Red Sox are no longer THE thing in Boston, they are just A thing. The Patriots, Bruins, and Celtics have all won championships recently too and similar, though smaller scale, changes have happened to their die hards too.

So what I want you to know, Cubs fans, is that this is going to happen to you too. It won’t be the same, but it will be similar. I don’t think the Cubs fanatics were ever as bad as Red Sox fanatics like me. The Cubs stretch of futility was longer than ours, but the sources of pain and suffering — the snatching defeat from the jaws of victory — weren’t really there the way they were for Boston fans so maybe there isn’t as strong a community to break up, but what you have is going to be marginalized.

Enjoy your parade, Cubs fans. You’re the champs and you deserve to celebrate. Go out there and party like it’s 1999. Next April, raise that banner and celebrate all over again. Then be ready. Losing made our teams special in a weird, ridiculous way. Now you, like us before you, are no longer special. It’s awesome… but it also kinda sucks.

MLB Playoff Predictions — World Series

I swear, Medium readers, my baseball playoff predictions are usually much better than this. I was one for two in the Wild Card round and two for four in the Division round for a split 50% at three right and three wrong. Somehow, sadly, I continued that through the two League Championships. I picked Toronto to beat Cleveland and Cleveland won, and I picked Chicago to beat Los Angeles and Chicago won. One out of two, for a post season total of four correct and four incorrect. 50%. Again. Still. That kinda sucks.

Now we come to the World Series. Only one prediction left. Will I finish above .500, or below. Let’s find out.

Cleveland vs Chicago. I said in my first prediction post that the Cubbies were going to win it this year. My brain is telling me that is still the case. My heart, however, has gone all in for the Indians (racist name and all). Something about the way those plucky underdogs beat two teams that should have been far superior just won me over. So which do I pick? My head or my heart?

The answer is kind of both. I really don’t see the Cubs losing this series. I officially predict that their 108 years of suck futility will finally come to an end. Having said that, I am going to root for the Indians. It would be nice to see their 68 year championship drought come to an end. Also, admittedly, it would be really nice to see the most pathetic team in baseball history continue their century plus years worth of complete futility. Yeah, I’m picking the Cubs but I’m really hoping they have to wait until next year.

This is in no way reflective of my baseball love for Jon Lester, John Lackey, or any of the other former Red Sox now playing for the Cubs, and that includes his Royal Highness Theo Epstein the General Manager who brought the Red Sox’ 86 year championship drought to an end. It also doesn’t have anything to do with Andrew Miller* or Coco Crisp, or even His Royal Highness Terry Francona the Manager who brought the Red Sox’ 86 year championship drought to an end. I just prefer rooting for Cleveland, even though I know deep down that Chicago is going to win.

So I am actually hoping that my playoff predictions finish below 50% for the first time that I can remember. It’s okay, though. I’ll survive.

*okay, it kinda is about Andrew Miller. That guy is freakin’ amazing. Jon Lester is amazing too, but Miller is his own brand of amazing and it’s been really fun to watch. Why couldn’t we get players like these, am I right?

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the World Series

I’m a Red Sox fan. Through and through. I live and die by the Red Sox. That can never be doubted.

Still, something weird has happened over the last few days.

I think… I think I am rooting for the Indians.

I should be violently opposed to any success for the Cleveland Indians. They swept my Red Sox in the division round, I hate them I hate them I hate them!!!

But then… Let’s just say they had no business beating the Red Sox. Boston should have nuked them until they glowed and then shot them in the dark. Somehow they won. On to the AL Championship Series against Toronto. Toronto should have flattened them the way a Sherman Tank would flatten a dandelion. Earlier tonight though, the Indians eliminated the Blue Jays in five games.

Terry Francona. Mike Napoli. Coco Crisp. There are ties to the Red Sox past on this Indians team. I think while listening to game five as former Red Sox pitcher Andrew Miller was once again making a super offense look like little leaguers I actually started rooting for these asshole Indians who beat my team.

Can you imagine the storyline of an Indians vs Cubs World Series? 2004 Red Sox manager Terry Francona vs 2004 Red Sox General Manager Theo Epstein.

That’s assuming that the Cubs don’t blow it in the NL Championship Series, which they are probably going to do.

I can’t believe I’m saying this but… Go Indians.

MLB Playoff Predictions — League Championship Round

The Red Sox lost. Do you have any idea how painful that is? It really sucks the life out of these fun little prediction posts, I’m telling you. In a word, it sucks. Add that to the simple fact that my predictions haven’t been very good, and it’s making me feel bad about the state of baseball in the 21st century. Suck, I tell you. Suck.

How did the Division round go, after going 1–1 in the wild card play ins?

I picked the Red Sox over the Indians and the effin’ Indians won in a sweep, the pricks. I picked the Blue Jays over the Rangers and the Blue Jays won, the pricks. I picked the Nationals over the Dodgers and I was wrong, wrong, wrong. I picked the Cubs over the Giants and I was right. Two right out of four, combined with one out of two in the play ins and that makes me a whopping three out of six. I have a 3–3 record. 50% correct. Yippee.

Now for my predictions for the League Championship Series’. Given that the Boston Red Sox are not involved, the real prediction is who gives a flying leap.

Toronto vs Cleveland. I pick Toronto. They were the team that scared me the most before my beloved Red Sox choked all over themselves and were swept like a bunch of little children. I still think they are the team to beat. I am picking them with my brain, not with my heart. My heart would pick them too though because I want them to murderlize the effin’ Indians. Pay back for what they did to my Red Sox. Damn you, Cleveland Indians. Racist team nick name and all. Pricks. The Blue Jays will win this one.

Los Angeles vs Chicago. You already know my pick for this one. I said last time that the Cubs are going to the World Series, and I still believe that. They are my pick. But…… They are still the Cubbies…….. is there an epic collapse in their future? If so then this would be the perfect time for it to rear it’s ugly head. The Cubs haven’t won the World Series in something like 40,000 years. So what if they were far and away the best team in baseball this year, losing is what they do. Losing in gut wrenching, dare I say Red Soxian, fashion would just be oh so fitting. Still, I’m picking the Cubs.

And there you have it. I predict a Toronto vs Chicago World Series. It’s Boston free, so who cares. Yippee.

Red Sox Post Mortem

It’s over.

David Ortiz has retired.

Damn, that sucks.

The Red Sox should have been able to beat the Indians. They are down their number two and three starters and the Red Sox had one of the best offenses in the league this year.

What happened?

The Red Sox starting pitching blew. They sucked like you’ve heard about. Porcello and Price both. Game three’s starter was Clay Effin’ Buchholz, arguably the most pathetic starting pitcher in Red Sox history. Never before has a pitcher had such fantastic skill and yet sucked so bad. Starting the Clay in game three was akin to a forfeit. When the Sox yanked him in the fourth they brought in Drew Pomeranz, the second most pathetic starter on the team. Game, series, season, and David Ortiz’s career over.

On top of the pathetic starting pitching, the electric Red Sox offense never arrived. The team that scored 100000000000 runs this year just couldn’t hit to save it’s life. Literally, the season is over because they couldn’t hit.

It’s over now. The Bruins season opener is Thursday.

Go Bruins.

MLB Playoff Predictions — Division Round

The Wild Card games are over. How did my picks do?

Not great, not bad. There were only two and I was 1–1. I got Toronto right and San Francisco wrong. It’s an even number year so I should have known the Giants were going to advance. Oh well, live and learn.

Now on to the Division Round. First, the American League.

Boston vs Cleveland. I always pick the Red Sox. I live in Boston. Duh. This year I feel it is the correct pick even without my bias. The Indian’s starting rotation is in injury shambles. The Red Sox greatest strength is their offense. They should devour Cleveland’s pitching. Go Red Sox.

Toronto vs Texas. These two cats hate each other. It could be a fun series to watch. I look at this more in terms of who I want to face should my Red Sox advance to the next round. The answer is… I don’t know. Toronto scares me. Texas scares me too. My head tells me that the Blue Jays will advance because they are rolling at this point. I think I’ll go with that. The Blue Jays will win.

Now for the National League, aka the league I barely noticed at all this year.

Los Angeles vs Washington. Far be it from me to dis Clayton Kershaw, but there’s no way I’m betting against Max Scherzer. Oh how I wish we had signed him when he was a free agent. Life in Fenway would have been so different had we snagged that dude. I’m picking Washington.

San Francisco vs Chicago. Here we go, kids. The longest championship drought on Earth (is it?), the Chicago Cubs. Is this the year? It sure sounds like it. They are a hell of a team. Obviously I am picking them, they are the safe bet, but having lived through the Red Sox tragedies leading up to 2004 I have experience watching great teams blow it in colossally horrid ways. We just have to sit back and wait to see how the Cubbies will blow it this year. We all know they will.

So there you have it, I am predicting a Boston vs Toronto AL Championship series, and a Washington vs Chicago NL Championship series. Will any of those picks be correct? Not likely!

GO RED SOX!

MLB Playoff Predictions — Wild Card

Most years I try and post my predictions for each round of the Major League Baseball and National Hockey League playoffs. In baseball, the wild card round starts tonight (and ends tomorrow) so I best get to it!

American League – Baltimore vs Toronto: Can you believe that three teams from the AL East made the post season this year? Less than an hour from now two of them will duke it out for the opportunity to play Texas in the Division round. I seriously want Baltimore to take this game because I want all teams that seem like a threat to the Red Sox winning the American League to lose. Sadly it’s not going to happen. Toronto is going to win tonight.

National League — San Francisco vs New York: A couple of confessions here. First, I barely followed the National League at all this year. Second, my playoff picks are not exactly logical. Often I’ll just pick the team that I traditionally hate the least. Third, I hate all baseball teams that have any connection to New York. The Mets are from New York. I effin’ loathe them. The Giants used to be from New York. I effin’ loathe them too. That means I want both of these chumps to lose tomorrow. Sadly, I have to pick one. I am going to pick the Mets and I hate myself a little for doing so. You suck, Mets.

There you have it. My ever so well thought out picks for the wild card round. Toronto wins tonight, and New York wins tomorrow. I’ll go over the results and make my picks for the division round on Thursday.

Play ball!

Red Sox: Feels Like Pre-2004

There are so many people today who are fans of the Boston Red Sox who have no idea what it means to be a fan of the Boston Red Sox. Once they finally won the World Series, back in 2004, the idea of the Fellowship of the Miserable sort of went away. Now, 12 years later, it’s a distant memory.

For those who don’t understand what it used to be like, let’s just say that last night was like old times.

The Sox magic number to clinch the American League East was one. One Red Sox win or one Toronto Blue Jays loss and the Sox are division champs. The Blue Jays were playing Baltimore, and the Red Sox were playing the Yankees (of course).

Late in the game down in New York, the word comes through that the Blue Jays have lost. Congratulations, Red Sox, you’ve won the division. They had a 3–0 lead and just needed to put away the Yankees so they could start celebratin’.

Bottom of the ninth, their closer on the mound. Kimbrel decides he doesn’t want to throw any strikes. One hit and a slew of walks later and it’s 3–1 Yankees. In comes Joe Kelley to try clean up Kimbrel’s mess. At first it looks like he might get through it. He gets the first two hitters out. Then, bottom of the ninth, bases loaded, two outs, friggin’ Mark Teixeira hits a grand slam. Yankees win, 5–3.

This is what the damn Red Sox used to do to us all the time. Just as it’s time to start the party… lose in gut wrenchingly awful fashion.

Thanks for the memories, guys. Now DON’T DO IT AGAIN!

Rick “Cy Young” Porcello

Rick Porcello is a 20 game winner.

I owe him an apology.

https://www.bostonglobe.com/sports/redsox/2016/07/29/rick-porcello-goes-distance-win-over-angels/3zSza2D2Gxz4G2Hyh0jAhO/story.html

Last year the Red Sox signed Porcello to an absurdly huge contract that was way over his head and he was awful. He couldn’t get my grandmother out and she passed away 18 years ago.

When the 2016 season started I, like most Red Sox fans, expected more of the same. something happened on the way to last place though. Porcello wasn’t terrible. He started pitching really well and going very late into games. I thought it was a fluke. I jokingly called him Cy Young. Oh look, Cy Young Porcello made it into the seventh inning with the lead. Oh look, Cy Young Porcello made it into the eighth inning. Stuff like that. I thought it was a statistical anomaly. Even the worst players can go on hot streaks, right? Right?

Last night, pitching in Toronto against the team in which we are in a serious playoff race, Porcello won his 20th game of the season. He’s 20–3. 20 wins and three losses. Given his performance last season, that is freakin’ insanity.

I have to apologize to the guy. I thought he’d come back to Earth. Instead he just kept mowing down the competition. Now when I call him Cy Young it is because I feel he’s the man to beat in the Cy Young award discussion.

Congratulations, Rick Porcello. 20 game winner.