I’ve lost 22 pounds since Labor Day weekend. After I lose about 180-200 more, and then keep it off for years and years, people are going to ask me…

Rob, you used to be the fattest of all fat asses, but now you are a skinny little 6.5 foot tall twig. How did you do it? What’s your secret?

My answer will be…

Quinoa, mofos.