Tag: afraid

10 Minutes to Go

10 minutes until quittin’ time on this chilly, cloudy Thursday in April.

I really need a haircut. We’re talkin’ desperately need a haircut. I should really go and take care of it on the way home tonight, but guess what I am not going to do. I’ve been in the office all day and I just want to get home and see my brilliant, beautiful wife.

I could try to go tomorrow before my doctors appointment, but I think we can all agree that isn’t happening either. Depending on how long the “class” takes, I might be able to squeeze one in before I have to punch into work. That’s a definite possibility.

I don’t want to go over the weekend because Covid-19 is still a thing even though no one acts like it anymore. Well, no one but me and Jen at least. Maybe not no one, but you dig what I’m saying. If I have to I could probably do it before work on Monday. Not Tuesday though. On Tuesday I’ll be on my clear liquids only diet and I’ll be freaking out.

So I’ll have it done by Monday.

The other big question coming up… if my Surgery is on Wednesday, when am I going to get a chance to see the season finale of MoonKnight? I might watch it when Disney+ posts it at 3:00am Eastern time because I sure as shit am not going to be sleeping much. We’ll see. They are going to call me on Tuesday to tell me what time the surgery is booked. I won’t know before then. Just a little tiny thing adding to the little tiny (Himalayas sized) stress.

Yippee!

Lunch Break

I’ve been eating too much at lunch. I’ve been eating too much at dinner. I’ve been eating too much after dinner. The rest of the day is generally aces.

We’re six days away from the surgery. Gastric Bypass. It sounds like road construction and to a degree it is. I’ve probably said this a few times before, but as scared as I am of having my guts chopped up I am more afraid of what comes after. This isn’t just a cosmetic surgery thing where you loose tons of weight and then carry on with your life. The surgery itself is just one small part of the process. You need to follow it up by completely changing everything. That’s what’s stressing me out today. Well… that’s part of it.

I have an appointment tomorrow morning. It’s the first of a series of classes where they will teach me what to do when I get home. I have to relearn how to eat and drink. I have to relearn how to prepare food. I have to relearn how to react when my guts talk to me. Miss a hint from your insides and end up praying to the porcelain god for an hour. that sort of thing. The first class covers living through the first couple of weeks. The second class is the second couple of weeks, and so on and so forth.

I’m doing my best to stay optimistic about the whole thing, but it’s getting hard to focus on the positive. It’s getting hard to focus on anything. I’ll let you know how tomorrow goes. Until then…

Back to work.