Hat’s Off to Alec Baldwin

I saw last night’s opening segment of Saturday Night Live. It was a really funny spoof of the second Presidential debate. Alec Baldwin is playing the part of the fascist candidate with the Oompa Loompa looking orange skin, henceforth to be known as the Orange Pile of Fascist Goo, or possibly OPFG for short.

The Orange Pile of Fascist Goo did what he does best when someone insults him. He went to twitter to bitch about it. Much the same as a stereotypical internet troll living in his mother’s basement despite being in his late 30’s or early 40’s while sustaining himself on a diet of hot pockets and pop tarts and yoo-hoo would do.

The OPFG stated that SNL should be cancelled, and that Baldwin’s performance was awful, and that the media is rigging the election.

Let’s break that down, okay?

Saturday Night Live has been on the air for 40 some odd years. Now, after all that time, Trumpie* is a target of their satire so I guess it’s time to cancel them. Thank you, OPFG for demonstrating your incredibly thin skin. I don’t recall any of the other candidates over the past 40 years bitching like whining little brats that the show that has spoofed every single one of them needs to be cancelled. All but a few of them took the satire like men. The exceptions being those who took it like women.

I felt that Alec Baldwin’s portrayal of the fascist candidate was spot on. The fascist’s reaction to it tells me that it was even better than I thought it was. If the OPFG reacted the way he did, then it must have been EPICALLY PERFECT! Congratulations, Mr Baldwin. You just earned yourself a truck load of Emmy Awards for the greatest acting performance in living memory. I tip my hat to you for your greatness.

So, Mr Orange Pile of Fascist Goo was spoofed on television and his response is to say that the media is rigging the election. He said that. I am not making it up, I promise he said that. Hell, he even put an exclamation point at the end of the sentence. I’m not kidding, not even a little bit.

If a Saturday Night Live sketch is an example of the media rigging the election, then it is clear to me that The Orange Pile of Fascist Goo does not know what the media really is. It’s satire, you shit for brains. It’s not a news story. It’s not a factual report that is skewing the story one way or the other. It is not a call to action. IT WAS A JOKE, YOU EFFIN’ DUMB ASS.

Let’s ignore the racism and the sexism and the sexual assaults and the fascism and the constant lying and the terrifying Russian influence and the fascination with nuclear weapons and the threats to jail his opponent. In other words, let’s for now ignore all of the reasons we already have that would guarantee no sane individual could ever vote for this egomaniacal sociopath… Not being able to tell the difference between a Saturday Night Live sketch and an actual media report is enough for anyone with a brain to realize this asshole is unelectable.

Vote for Clinton. Keep this moron away from Washington. Do the right thing, America. Say no to fascism.


*Trumpie… I used that word as a nod to fans of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Remember the Pod People episode? That was friggin hysterical. Trumpie, no!

Flake Day

Saturdays on kid weekends are busy busy busy. They both have a whole slew of things that they need to be driven to on Saturdays, and then when all that’s done there is food shopping and errands to run. Busy as can be.

One result of the Saturday busyness is that Sundays tend to be flake days. Today is a good example. The kids have been watching the tube, although they are doing homework right now. Jen is cooking a nice dinner. Laundry is being done en mass. There’s a lot going on, but it’s all quiet stay at home sort of stuff.

I like it.

MLB Playoff Predictions — League Championship Round

The Red Sox lost. Do you have any idea how painful that is? It really sucks the life out of these fun little prediction posts, I’m telling you. In a word, it sucks. Add that to the simple fact that my predictions haven’t been very good, and it’s making me feel bad about the state of baseball in the 21st century. Suck, I tell you. Suck.

How did the Division round go, after going 1–1 in the wild card play ins?

I picked the Red Sox over the Indians and the effin’ Indians won in a sweep, the pricks. I picked the Blue Jays over the Rangers and the Blue Jays won, the pricks. I picked the Nationals over the Dodgers and I was wrong, wrong, wrong. I picked the Cubs over the Giants and I was right. Two right out of four, combined with one out of two in the play ins and that makes me a whopping three out of six. I have a 3–3 record. 50% correct. Yippee.

Now for my predictions for the League Championship Series’. Given that the Boston Red Sox are not involved, the real prediction is who gives a flying leap.

Toronto vs Cleveland. I pick Toronto. They were the team that scared me the most before my beloved Red Sox choked all over themselves and were swept like a bunch of little children. I still think they are the team to beat. I am picking them with my brain, not with my heart. My heart would pick them too though because I want them to murderlize the effin’ Indians. Pay back for what they did to my Red Sox. Damn you, Cleveland Indians. Racist team nick name and all. Pricks. The Blue Jays will win this one.

Los Angeles vs Chicago. You already know my pick for this one. I said last time that the Cubs are going to the World Series, and I still believe that. They are my pick. But…… They are still the Cubbies…….. is there an epic collapse in their future? If so then this would be the perfect time for it to rear it’s ugly head. The Cubs haven’t won the World Series in something like 40,000 years. So what if they were far and away the best team in baseball this year, losing is what they do. Losing in gut wrenching, dare I say Red Soxian, fashion would just be oh so fitting. Still, I’m picking the Cubs.

And there you have it. I predict a Toronto vs Chicago World Series. It’s Boston free, so who cares. Yippee.

The Bruins Win The Season Opener

The Boston Bruins opened the 2016–17 season last night with a win against the Columbus Blue Jackets.

Everyone who is happy that they kicked off the new year with a win, raise your hand.

(Robert raises his hand)

Everyone who walked out to the middle of the Tobin Bridge when Tuukka Rask let in a goal on the very first shot he saw this season, raise your hand.

(Robert raises his hand)

I am so glad hockey is back (especially after the pathetic way the Red Sox season ended) but I know full well that it’s going to be a long year.

The Current State of My Gear Acquisition Syndrome

Now that Lizardfish is again in a lull between gigs I can once more turn my attention to feeding my Gear Acquisition Syndrome. I’ve been researching five items. The first three on the list are necessary replacements for gear that has either been malfunctioning or underperforming. the last two are more of a would-be-nice list rather than must haves. They are replacements for current gear that is actually working just fine.

Gibson Dirty Finger Bridge Pickup — 139.99

http://www.musiciansfriend.com/search?sB=r&Ntt=Gibson+dirty+fingers#/accessories/gibson-dirty-fingers-humbucker-pickup?rNtt=Gibson%20dirty%20fingers&index=1

Gibson toggle switch — 24.99

http://www.sweetwater.com/store/detail/PSTS020

Fulltone Clyde Deluxe Wah — 211.65

http://www.musiciansfriend.com/amplifiers-effects/fulltone-clyde-deluxe-wah-guitar-effects-pedal

— — — — — — — —

Wren and Cuff Tri Pi 70 — 189.99

https://reverb.com/item/2451198-wren-and-cuff-tri-pie-70-triangle-knob-muff-fuzz

JHS Muffuletta — 229

https://reverb.com/item/1044036-jhs-muffuletta-fuzz

I could add a few other items, but I’ll stick with this for now. My Gibson ES-335 Pro has Dirty Finger pickups and they are insane. My Gibson Les Paul has Classic ‘57’s and they are kinda wimpy. I want to put a Dirty Finger into the Les Paul to angry it up a bit. Also, the pickup selector switch on the Les Paul hasn’t worked since the day I bought it. It’s time to fix that. Finally, my Cry Baby that lives on the band pedal board died. I’m using it as an excuse to upgrade rather than just get it fixed.

The two pedals are Big Muff clones and I just want ‘em.

Happy G.A.S. Shopping, everyone!

Red Sox Post Mortem

It’s over.

David Ortiz has retired.

Damn, that sucks.

The Red Sox should have been able to beat the Indians. They are down their number two and three starters and the Red Sox had one of the best offenses in the league this year.

What happened?

The Red Sox starting pitching blew. They sucked like you’ve heard about. Porcello and Price both. Game three’s starter was Clay Effin’ Buchholz, arguably the most pathetic starting pitcher in Red Sox history. Never before has a pitcher had such fantastic skill and yet sucked so bad. Starting the Clay in game three was akin to a forfeit. When the Sox yanked him in the fourth they brought in Drew Pomeranz, the second most pathetic starter on the team. Game, series, season, and David Ortiz’s career over.

On top of the pathetic starting pitching, the electric Red Sox offense never arrived. The team that scored 100000000000 runs this year just couldn’t hit to save it’s life. Literally, the season is over because they couldn’t hit.

It’s over now. The Bruins season opener is Thursday.

Go Bruins.