I’ve been meaning to write a post about the Stanley Cup Finals, but it’s just depressing.  I was all excited for it when the series opened, and when the Kings won game three I was very happy.  Then reality set in.

When the finals end, the Bruins are no longer the reigning champs.  

That just made me sad.  I was happy that the Devils made it to the finals.  I was thrilled that the Kings made it to the finals.  Even more than that, I was overjoyed that the Rangers, Canucks, Capitals, Penguins, Red Wings, Coyotes, ect, ect, did not make it to the finals.

But I still need to recap my final prediction, so here it is:

I picked the Kings to win the Stanley Cup by defeating the Devils.  I predicted six or seven games.  I was right.  The Kings took the Cup in six games.  Good for the Kings.  An eighth seed finally wins it all.  My score for the 2012 playoffs:  11 correct out of 15.  That’s 73%.  That might be the best I’ve ever done.  My goal is always getting more right than wrong, so 8/15 is perfect.  11/15 is better than I would have imagined.

Still…

After the Bruins magical run to the Cup in 2011, this was just sort of… flat… boring… uninteresting… not that much fun.  I would have greatly preferred to go 4/15 if all four of those correct picks were Bruins wins.

So, congrats to the Devils on a great season, and congrats to the Kings for winning it all.

Now let’s have the Bruins take that Cup back in 2013.

You know… these posts are much more fun when the Bruins are still playing.

I picked eight out of 12 series in the first two rounds combined.  There were two series in the Conference Finals round of the Stanley Cup playoffs, and wouldn’t you know it I picked them both correctly.

I picked the former parent club of the former Lowell Devils, better known as the New Jersey Devils over the New York Rangers and I was right.  Want to know something?  It feels good to bet against New York and win.  It feels good in a special way that only a Boston fan can understand.  Granted the Devils are practically a New York team, but what are you going to do?  9/13

I picked the former parent club of the former Lowell Lock Monsters, better known as the Los Angeles Kings over the Phoenix Coyotes.  Phoenix, where ice is more myth than fact.  Yeah, I know that Southern California is a desert too, but let’s be real… Hockey in Phoenix is wrong.  I know there are three or four actual Coyotes fans living in Arizona, but having an NHL team in Phoenix is just a little offensive.  Florida, Tennessee, and Southern California are all offensive too, but somehow they aren’t nearly as insulting as Phoenix.  But I digress…  The Kings have now beaten the #1 seed in the West in five games, the #2 team in four games, and the #3 team in five games.  I’m not the least bit surprised.  I never doubted this one for even a fraction of a second.  10/14.

And now for my prediction for the Stanley Cup Finals.  Given the previous paragraph (and the last two predictions posts) I think you can guess where this one is going.

New Jersey Devils vs Los Angeles Kings: Quick against Brodeur.  It sounds like deja vu from the last round, with the young gun goalie matched up against the aging giant.  Damn I love a good cliche!  The Devils have been awesome in this post season.  Really top notch.  The Kings have been better.  I don’t see the Kings taking their fourth 3-0 series lead here.  I think this is going to be a much tougher series than they’ve become accustomed to.  Still, they are rolling like no team I’ve ever seen.  The Devils will lose in six or seven and the Kings will hoist the Stanley Cup.

There you have it.

Go Kings!

So the second round ended on Saturday after two pointless nights off, and then the third round begins immediately on Sunday.  Oh bite me, NHL.

Here are how things stood after the first round.  I picked six out of the eight series correctly.  That’s pretty good, but I usually do pretty good in the first round.  The second round usually ruins me.  Not so this time, but I didn’t do all that great either.

I picked the Capitals over the Rangers in a series where I was hoping both teams would lose.  I picked wrong as the Rangers won in seven.  At least the seven game series will hopefully soften them up a little for the next round. 6/9
I picked the Devils over the Flyers and the Devils won.  I feel smaht.  I do so hate the Flyers.  I hate them with a passion that burns white hot.  I hate them as powerfully as I hate all sports teams from New York.  7/10
I picked the Kings over the Blues and the Kings won easily.   As I stated the last time I wrote one of these stupid posts, I am never picking against the Kings again. 8/11
I picked the Predators over the Coyotes.  Wrong.  The freakin’ Coyotes even appear to have found a buyer dumb enough to not move the franchise back to Canada.  Really.  That dumb.  8/12.

So I’ve picked one out of every three series wrong.  So what.  Didn’t I say up front that these predictions are meaningless crap?  It’s not like I would bet money with these illogical guesses.

On to round three.  I actually entered my predictions in an earlier post after the Devils eliminated the Flyers whom I hate passionately.

New York Rangers vs New Jersey Devils:  Lundqvist vs Brodeur.  A goalie match up for the ages.  The young phenom against the aging giant.  Two teams that essentially live across a river from each other doing battle for a chance at the cup.  As usual, geography and inter-city rivalry make this pick for me as I will not soil myself by predicting a win for a New York team, but I would have picked the Devils even if they weren’t matched up against the Evil Empire.  The Devils team looks good.  They are clicking in a way that they were not earlier in the season.  They look pretty much unbeatable.  If the Rangers were locked in the way New Jersey is they would have crushed the Capitals (much like my beloved Bruins would have if they were locked in the way they should have been.  Grrrrrrrrr).  They did not.  I think the Rangers are coming undone and the Devils will take advantage of them.  For the record, I was once a season ticket holder for New Jersey’s former AHL affiliate in Lowell, MA.  More on that later.

Phoenix Coyotes vs Los Angeles Kings:  Go Kings.  ‘Nuff said.  Two desert teams matching up in game that’s played on ice.  Meanwhile real hockey cities like Boston and Chicago and Detroit and Saint Paul and Toronto and Montreal and Winnipeg ect ect ect are all at home watching the games on TV along with their teams.  The Kings are a team of density.  Um, I mean destiny.  They have already destroyed the top two teams in the West, why not send the third seed home as well.  They just look really good, even better than the Devils.  To use another cliche, they are firing on all cylinders.  I think Phoenix is in for a rude awakening.  This series gets two for the record statements.  First, game one was last night and the Kings took a one game to none lead.  Again, I posted this prediction a week or so ago so I’m not cheating, I’m just writing it up in an official (re: dumb ass) way.  Second, I was once a season ticket holder for Los Angeles’ former AHL affiliate in Lowell, MA.  See the connection?

Given these predictions, I expect to see some former Lowell Lock Monsters playing against some former Lowell Devils in the Stanley Cup Finals.

Make it happen!

Go Kings!
Go Devils!
Go Kings a little more than the Devils!
I hate the Rangers, so Go Devils!
and Go Kings!

Okay, so I’m three days late with my second round predictions.  Shoot me.  I was on vacation and my favorite team was eliminated.  Bite me if you don’t like it.  Sure one of the four series has already played two games, but that won’t stop me from making the wrong pick.  Deal with it.

So how did I do in the first round?  What does it matter, the Bruins lost.

I picked the Rangers over the Senators and the Rangers won.  Yippee.  1/1
I picked the Bruins over the Capitals and the Capitals won and broke my heart.  Bite me.  1/2
I picked the Devils over the Panthers and the Devils won.  Big surprise.  2/3
I picked the Penguins over the Flyers and they suck suck suck suck sucked and the Flyers won.  2/4
I picked the Kings over the Canucks and the Kings won.  Despite my heartache over the Bruins, this is pretty freakin’ awesome.  3/5
I picked the Blues over the Sharks and the Blues won.  And the suckfest in San Jose continues.  4/6
I picked the Coyotes over the Blackhawks and the Coyotes won.  And no one on Earth noticed.  5/7
I picked the Predators over the Red Wings and the Predators won.  And no one outside of Detroit noticed.  6/8

Six correct picks out of eight series.  I’d trade them all for a Bruins win.  But alas…

Here are my logic-free picks for the second round.

New York Rangers vs Washington Capitals:
I hate them both so much.  I hate them both with a passion that is burning like a fever.  Words cannot express how much I hate both of these teams.  The Rangers, like the Bruins, slipped a little down the stretch.  They, like the Bruins, are a defense first team.  They, like the Bruins, are going to lose to an eighth seed.  I pick the Capitals and it pains me to no end to do so.  (The Rangers won game one)

Philadelphia Flyers vs New Jersey Devils:
Oh my good christ I do so hate the bedamned Flyers.  I’m picking the Devils out of pure hatred and spite.  The very thought of the Flyers making it to the Conference finals makes me want to vomit fire.  Go Devils.  (The Flyers won game one… are you seeing a pattern developing here?)

St Louis Blues vs Los Angeles Kings:
I am never going to pick against the Kings again.  Really, I feel like I should buy every member of the team a beer (or 10) for the way they beat Vancouver.  My one great fear when I saw Boston matched up against Washington was that Boston would go out in the first round and Vancouver would advance.  Thanks to my Kings that did not happen.  I would pick this Kings team against any team in history that does not include Bobby Orr (with the exception of those Chicago teams he sort of played for), Ray Bourque (with the exception of those Colorado teams he played for), or Cam Neely (with the exception of those Vancouver teams he played for).  The Kings are my team now.  I am a Kings fan from this day forward, until Boston’s next training camp of course.  Go Kings.  (The Kings won game one.  Think of this as the exception that proves the rule, okay?)

Phoenix Coyotes vs Nashville Predators:
Your time is up Phoenix.  Time to start packing for Quebec City, or Hamilton, or Saskatoon.  How about St Johns, Newfoundland?  I am picking the Predators because maybe, just maybe, their time has finally come (except for when they play the Kings).  Predators in seven.  (Phoenix has one games one and two.  Yes, I am a moron but at least I am a consistent moron.  Sort of.  I guess.)

There you go.  My second round picks.  At least three of which are going to end up being wrong. 

Who cares, my Bruins are done.  The rest of you can bite me.

Go Kings.

This is going to be quick.  My lunch break is almost over.

Here are my off-the-top-of-my-head predictions for the 2012 NHL first round!

Beginning with the East…


New York Rangers vs Ottawa Senators:
As always, the Rangers will go as far as their goalie takes them.  If Henrik Lundqvist is Henrik Lundqvist-esque then the Rangers will make quick work of the Senators.  The Senators were a feel good story this year, but I think the story ends here… and quickly.  The Rangers are going to win this series with ease.

Boston Bruins vs Washington Capitals:
I wrote a little about this yesterday.  The Caps scare me.  They are so good up front that they should scare everyone.  If the Bruins play they way they are capable of playing they should still pretty much steam roll Washington.  The Capitals goal tending is a mess and the Bruins forwards, while not as good as Washington’s, should do fine.  Meanwhile, if any team defense can handle Ovetchkin and company, it’s the Bruins.  Lest we forget that Tim Moon Bat Thomas has been playing very well lately.  Washington is scary, but not that scary.  The Bruins, the heroic, glorious, triumphant, defending Stanley Cup Champion Boston Bruins, will advance.

Florida Panthers vs New Jersey Devils:
I hope you enjoy finally getting back into the playoffs, Florida.  The Devils are just better.  Look to former Lowell Devil, David “Kelly” Clarkson to have a break out series.  I just have a feeling.  Oh and those other all-world forwards are okay too.  Martin Brodeur is old and his best days are far behind him, but an older, slower, Brodeur is still better than almost anyone in the history of the known (and probably unknown) universe.  The Devils will take this.  I think Florida makes a fight of it, but I still pick the Devils.

Pittsburgh Penguins vs Philadelphia Flyers:
Welcome to the East’s marquis match up.  If Ilya Bryzgalov were 100% healthy this would be even more fun to watch, but there are questions about his recent foot injury.  The Penguins were playing off the charts a few weeks ago, but they have cooled down quite a bit.  I still think they will win this round.  Even without Crosby I would still pick them.  Malkin is just too good to be denied this year.  I don’t see Pittsburgh winning it all, but I do see him carrying the team through at least the first round.  I pick the Penguins.

On to the West…

Vancouver Canucks vs Los Angeles Kings:
Here we go.  Here is where I start predicting the downfall of Vancouver.  I have liked the Kings all year.  Hell, I’ve liked the Kings for years.  They were very inconsistent this year, but I have a gut feeling that they are going to start clicking like crazy now that the post season has arrived.  The Canucks proved to me last season that, while they are stocked with elite players and are a great team, they are not a championship team.  Partly because they whine like little bitches, but mostly because they lack the killer instinct.  I am going with my gut for this round (and that is wrong 99.999% of the time, so I am a total idiot for doing this) but I see the Kings taking this series.

St Louis Blues vs San Jose Sharks:
The Sharks haven’t been quite their usual post season jokes in recent years.  They’ve been advancing, but still not going the distance.  I can’t say they are an automatic bet against they way they used to be for me.  Still, the Blues have looked great for most of the season.  They may turn out to be one of those stereotypical, “gee it’s swell being in the playoffs.  We’ve made it this far and that’s enough happy for us” and just get destroyed (see also: Florida Panthers), but I think they have enough to get past the Sharks in the first round.  I am picking the Blues.

Phoenix Coyotes vs Chicago Blackhawks:
I don’t know.  I haven’t a clue.  If Chicago had a healthy Jonathan Toews this would be an easy pick, but they don’t.  I really don’t know who’s going to win this one.  In situations like these I tend to pick either the higher seed or the team with the best history.  Phoenix is the higher seed, but Chicago is a member of the original six.  That doesn’t help.  So a coin flip tells me to pick Phoenix.  Phoenix it is.  That’ll be a good story.  They should win a round in the playoffs before being moved out of the desert and back to Canada where they belong.

Nashville Predators vs Detroit Red Wings:
Let’s hear it for the Preds!  The Wings are a world class team.  They are awesome and have been for ages.  They are the model franchise for the NHL.  They are going to lose to a team from a city that never sees snow.  I think the Predators have a chance to take the entire conference this year.  Sure, it’s not the sexy pick, but I think they are going to surprise a lot of people who should know better than be surprised by a team like this.  I pick Nashville.

So there you have it, my eight first round picks.  Honestly I would gladly have seven of these choices be dead wrong so long as my Bruins advance.  There has not been a repeat Stanley Cup Champion since the Red Wings did it in the late 90’s.  If they can stay relatively healthy, and if their goalie can continue to avoid getting distracted by tea bagger politicking, and they play the way they played back in November and December, the Bruins have a damn good chance at taking this thing again.

Go Bruins!