Why Me?

Daily writing prompt

If you could have something named after you, what would it be?

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Why the hell would anyone in their right mind name something after a dope like me?

Given that I was named after my father you might think I had wanted to name a son, if I ever had one, after me. Hi, I am Robert, Jr and here is my devilishly handsome, hyper intelligent son (who clearly takes after his mother) Robert, III. Nope. No way. I would never subject any son I might have had to anything like that. Let’s just say that I would have lived through it so he would not have had to. I don’t have a biological son though (I have a step son who I love as much as anyone could ever love a biological son) so it’s a moo point. You know, it’s like a cow’s opinion. It’s moo.

I’ve seen a few people say they would like to have a street named after them. That’s a really good take. Unfortunately, I have a very common first name and a slightly less common but still very common last name. That means there are already streets in most New England towns with those names. Too late, Robbie. Too late.

As a guitar player one fun option would be to have a guitar named after me. I’d have to be super famous for that, but why not consider it? My favorite guitar is arguably the most famous signature guitar there is, named after it’s co-designer and jazz legend who is even more legendary as an inventor of audio recording devices and techniques, Les Paul. Most of the major guitar manufacturers make signature models of their common guitars or make signature models of new designs. I wouldn’t mind a Robbie signature Les Paul, or ES-335, or whatever. That would be pretty epic.

The best thing would be to have some technique or workflow named after me. Like when Captain Picard was on the Stargazer and he used his warp engines to travel a short distance and therefore appear to be in two places at once and fool his enemy’s sensors. That technique became known as The Picard Maneuver. Or when Commander Riker of the Enterprise started flinging his leg over the back of his chair before sitting down, thus creating The Riker Maneuver. Something like that. Maybe jogging in place (pronounced “yogging in place”) followed by a protein bar breakfast could be called The Robert Maneuver. That would be pretty sweet, don’t you think?