I posted something the other day about having a bad experience trying to get a haircut. Checking in early only to have to wait a ridiculous amount of time, and being in a large crowd in a confined space in the time of Covid… granted the state of emergency for Covid was lifted last week so I guess I can’t technically say it’s still the time of Covid. Whatever, I didn’t feel safe.
I am going to try again tonight after work. I booked a 6:00 appointment. Here’s hoping I get right in because they close at 7:00. My hair really needs to be cut. I look like bozo the idiotic clown right now. The mirror cried “uncle” this morning and I have to appease it.
Unrelated story, I bought a fly swatter the other day. I was at the grocery store and I saw it and that was literally the definition of an impulse buy. The idea behind it was to keep it at my work desk in the cellar and use it to eliminate bugs with extreme prejudice. Spiders mostly, but also little flying assholes that I don’t have a name for that often annoy me while I work. Earlier today, the swatter tasted insect blood for the first time and it liked the taste. It is thirsty for me.
There was a yellowjacket buzzing around. It was loud and obnoxious and clearly in a shitty mood. Unfortunately, it wouldn’t go anywhere that I could get a clear shot at it with the new fly swatter. It just wouldn’t stop flying around long enough, and when it did it stopped in a spot that I couldn’t swing my weapon with any accuracy.
If flew into one of the lamps and I thought a spider got it. It was quiet for a few minutes. Good riddance, I thought. But no. It flew out of the lamp with spider webs wrapped around it and trailing behind. It was clearly in distress and couldn’t fly very well. I saw my chance. It landed on the wall behind my desk for just a second and I struck. The sound of the fly swatter slapping against the wall was deafening (no it wasn’t, I am just being overly dramatic) and the bee fell to the desk. It was alive but severely injured. I struck again and the invader lived no more. Rest in peace, asshole.
I grabbed my little waste basket and swept the corpse off of the desk into it. It was then that I saw the little inch worm/caterpillar looking prick that had been hiding under the basket. The fly swatter tasted bug blood once again.
Something tells me my impulse buy will go down in history as money well spent. Money very well spent.