Fun with Caffeine

I did something that’s almost impossible for me.  Yesterday, Sunday October 6, 2019, I went through the entire day without ingesting any caffeine.  Not by choice.  I picked up breakfast for my wife at Dunks and grabbed a 20 oz bottle of Diet Coke for each of us.  Unfortunately, one of the bottles had a bad seal and we let paranoia take over and we dumped it.  I gave the other bottle to Jen because I am a nice guy.

There was a 16.9 oz bottle of Diet Pepsi in the refrigerator but I never touched it.  Until this morning before work, of course.  Seven hours of sleep sounds like it should be enough to charge me up, but I was dead on my feet from the word go today and I gave in and drank the soda.

The irony here is that on Saturday while waiting in the drive through line (for a loooong time) at the very same Dunks, my wife and I had a little discussion about how much caffeine is in our favorite caffeinated beverages.  She said that Diet Coke had more caffeine than Diet Pepsi, and that Diet Pepsi wasn’t all that far removed from decaf coffee.  Regular coffee though left Diet Coke in the dust.

She had actual numbers to prove out her statements, because she’s brilliant, and I almost immediately forgot them, because I am a dolt.  That lead me to spend part of my lunch break on The Google, which lead me to this page.  I made a little chart for future reference:

Drink Serving Size Caffeine (mg)
Diet Coke 20 oz. 76
Coca-Cola, Coke Zero, or Diet Pepsi 20 oz. 56-57
Dunkin’ Donuts, Panera, or Starbucks Decaf Coffee 16 oz. 10-25
Maxwell House Decaf Ground Coffee 12 oz. 2-10
Dunkin’ Donuts Coffee 14 oz. 210

So Diet Coke has more caffeine than regular Coke, Coke Zero, and Diet Pepsi.  Diet Pepsi can potentially have less than double the caffeine of decaf coffee, if you get it from Dunks, Panera, or Starbucks.  That’s pretty fascinating, wouldn’t you say?  Almost as fascinating as my bad-ass HTML table writing skills, am I right?  Look at how impressed you all are with my 20th century coding.  I can see it in your face, you are utterly blown away.

Of course all of this is trumped by taste.  Diet Pepsi tastes better than Diet Coke (literally the only Pepsi product that is preferable to the equivalent Coke product) while both Diet Pepsi and Diet Coke are infinitely better than any coffee ever, and if you don’t like it you can kiss my large pasty white ass.

So what is the point of this post?  Simple.  My wife is awesome.

You’re welcome.


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