Anti-Spirit

I never feel any holiday spirit until the house is clean and all of the gifts are wrapped. It’s pretty normal for me to be feeling grinchy right now.

This year though… It’s just different somehow. Christmas isn’t a goal that needs to be worked toward, it’s more like a gigantic weight sitting on my shoulders and forcing me down. It’s oppressive.

Everyone is on edge. Just drive on the highway for a few miles and you can see it plainly. Last night I just felt sad. It’s like tradition tells me I should be feeling all jolly and shit, but I just felt sad. It’s so wrong. I feel better today, but will that continue? Who knows. I ended up taking it out on my diet. I cheated like crazy yesterday. I’m not going to weigh in tomorrow because I don’t want any bad news to make me feel worse.

My plan for the weekend is to clean the whole house before we have guests over on Wednesday, wrap all of the presents that need wrapping, and pick up any straggler gifts. Really though, all I want to do is sleep. Maybe once that’s all finished I can have my usual post-prep burst of holiday cheer.

Maybe.

Originally published at robj2112.wordpress.com on December 19, 2014.