Quoting Call of the Green Monster

After several nights now listening to Tim McCarver analysis, the general consensus among COTGM staff members is that they’d rather suction out their eyeballs with a wine cork  and pour wasabi sauce into the open wound than listen to another word he has to say.  But this writer refuses to follow the crowd, and instead will take the road less traveled.  Here are a few positive observations on Mr. McCarver’s work.
• At one point in Game Two he was clocked at going 3.223 seconds without making some sort of comment.  Sometimes the game speaks for itself.
• He insulted no Eskimos during the broadcast.
• While the hair he dips in red paint twice a month still looks ridiculous, the little touch of gray on sideburns has at least some semblance of reality to it.
• After he bungles a name, he makes no attempt to correct himself.  I admire that, because otherwise the broadcast would turn into a ceaseless parade of retractions and who’d want that?  Daisuke Okajima, Jacoby Elldroia, Trot Drew?  It’s all part of the entertainment.
• No animals were hurt during the broadcast.
• His comment that “more multi-run innings are started with homeruns than with walks” may be Hall of Fame material.
• If you press the SAP button on your remote control menu and can’t speak Spanish you really don’t miss a thing.
• When the Rockies were trailing 13-1 in Game One, Tim was adept enough to say he changed his mind and now thought the eight day layoff did affect the Rockies.
• No matter how stupid or bungled a comment Tim makes, you can always continue to watch the game in joyful hope that an even stupider remark is sure to follow.

Finally, sharp blows to the throat can render people speechless for days.  Tim will give autographs when asked.  Put theses two facts together, and make your plan.

bill@callofthegreenmonster.com“

Thank you Call of the Green Monster.  Thank you very much.